Slipping back...

[Sprout]

Haven't posted here in a while, haven't needed to; self-harmed only once or twice in almost a year. I no longer see a Psych. But all that seems to be changing and I guess I just need to vent a little. I've recently gone back to college (some of you may remember I had to drop-out after 3 weeks due to a suicide attempt and being homeless) but life seems just to be getting to me recently. I just feel so hopeless and helpless, I think I'm slowly developing an ED: I've eaten 490 calories since Friday, my anxiety is becoming overpowering to the point going to shop brings me to tears. I think my girlfriend is cheating on me... again. I've had delusions of reference on a few occasions. Along with constant urges to SH and recurrent suicidal thinking. I just need some kind words. Thank you for reading.

 

[herbavore]

Hey, Sprout, I probably wasn't here yet when you were last posting. I'm sorry to hear about your feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Sounds like it might be a good idea to revisit a therapist or psych if you haven't started already---dealing with this stuff alone is daunting. I'm glad you came back to post here. Lot's of others feeling what you are in this forum right now so at least you know you've got people that know exactly what you are talking about!

We are all here for you and for each other every day. I hope that the responses you get will help you through your struggle. Just remember that SH, ED and suicidal thoughts are a way of turning pain from the outside in on yourself. Sometimes I try to role play that I am outside of myself--like I am a friend looking in at my own situation. Would I blame my friend? Would I accuse her or would I try to validate her experience and find ways to help her think differently? It shifts those self-destructive patterns around sometimes for me.

and (()) to you.

 

[ScreamingButterfly]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. I know those urges of SH and suicidal feelings are tough to get through. You said you have only hurt yourself once or twice in a year. That is a good thing whether you realize it or not that is close to 0! I know when times are tough it feels like it will never end but it will if you hang on. Remember relief is a feeling and you have to be alive to feel it. When you are upset keep reaching out to people even if it's just on the net. People here are very helpful. I hope things get better!

 

[snowboarder7791]

please hang in there... i dont know you but i hope that you will be ok...i myself thought i was all alone i came about 1/8 of a mm from ending my life last night. But i was shown by this site and some of its fine people that there are loving caring people out there who will listen to you in your darkest hour. you are not alone.....

 

[Sappy_6794]

Haven't posted here in a while, haven't needed to; self-harmed only once or twice in almost a year. I no longer see a Psych. But all that seems to be changing and I guess I just need to vent a little. I've recently gone back to college (some of you may remember I had to drop-out after 3 weeks due to a suicide attempt and being homeless) but life seems just to be getting to me recently. I just feel so hopeless and helpless, I think I'm slowly developing an ED: I've eaten 490 calories since Friday, my anxiety is becoming overpowering to the point going to shop brings me to tears. I think my girlfriend is cheating on me... again. I've had delusions of reference on a few occasions. Along with constant urges to SH and recurrent suicidal thinking. I just need some kind words. Thank you for reading.

Hey, dont feel so hopeless, I know that anxiety is a terrible thing to try to deal with but just try to find that one motivator to keep in mind even at the worst time. Fuck your girlfriend if shes really cheating, you dont deserve that and dont let someone bring you down because of their own stupidity. and EAT!! I did the same thing a few months back and it was awful... felt like I was going to die, and not having enough food in you is only making the situation worse Just work on college and making your life better and dont let anyone bring you down.