Slightly Concerned..

[Mr_Random89]

Hi,

So previously SWIM was an on and off user of cannabis, but nothing too serious and always said that I'd draw the line there..

Lets back track to 4 months ago.. So one of SWIM's friends decided to come over and bring "Speed" which was straight up refused and after about 3 hours of basically being "peer pressured" SWIM sadly caved in.. Spent the whole night up partying and had never experienced anything like that before.. Then said that it was a one off thing..

All was good and well and then a week later same situation happened and this time there was a lot more (she has access to it at no cost, but that's besides the point) SWIM said to himself "Do it every now and again recreationally, only bomb it and will never smoke it)..

Fast track a month later and SWIM was now smoking ICE (straight from the factory and uncut) daily - Couldn't see the harm as SWIM never had to pay for it.. Ending up having around 1 point a night to almost a 1 gram a night between 2 people..

3 weeks ago SWIM decided to stop all together as family life was falling to pieces, relationship was on the rocks with constant fighting and complete lack of interest in anyone or anything and had no real emotions over anything.. A family member had passed away and SWIM just stared blankly and had no reaction at all..

Never would have thought that SWIM would have an addictive personality and that SWIM could fall into this dark spiral.. Life is slowly starting to get back on track, but every day SWIM thinks about it and the cravings are insane!

SWIM guesses that he's after some feedback for what people have done to help with cravings and how they cope with it.

 

[rules]

addiction has no favorites. quit while you're ahead. it will never get better, sadly.

i've never been very good at controlling cravings. it starts as a tiny little seed in my head and before you know it it's become a full grown tree and i'm on my way to cop more drugs...it's awful. the mind is a powerful tool but it is easily controlled and manipulated by the simplest of substances.

 

[Mr_Random89]

I've noticed that and sadly most of time, when planning to do something fun it automatically comes to mind that I need to have some in order to have a good time and it disgusts me.

 

[slimvictor]

Sounds like you aren't that deep in it yet, OP, despite the problems you have experienced.
If you quit now, you can turn your life around.
Keep using speed, and based on your post, you will be in big trouble.

As for the cravings, if you rationally understand that using speed again is a really poor choice, that helps.
If you understand that you could ruin your relationships and even destroy your life, that helps.
But ultimately, it is up to your own strength of will.

Fighting cravings is easier if you exercise, and eat a healthy diet.
Strengthen your will by taking control of your life.
If it were me, I would wake up early, meditate, do yoga, go for a run, then begin my work day.
By the end of the day, I would be tired, and probably drink a beer to relax and go to sleep (I generally dislike alcohol, so there is little danger of me trading one addiction for another, but ymmv). You could also smoke some weed (though I have had troubles with weed addiction).
If you can, it is ideal to do it without any drugs at all.
If you do use drugs such as alcohol, make sure to stop before you develop an addiction to them.

I would also simply refuse to see the friend who had the speed until I felt that I had conquered the cravings.
Actually, thinking about what you wrote about the peer pressure, I think I would just refuse to see that friend again. Period.
Your addiction sounds extremely powerful, considering the short time period, and hit you despite your best efforts. It sounds like you would be wise to simply close the door on that, to save yourself.

Be strong!

 

[rules]

Your addiction sounds extremely powerful, considering the short time period, and hit you despite your best efforts. It sounds like you would be wise to simply close the door on that, to save yourself.

yeah...it reminds me of how i felt the first time i used heroin and now i'm a full blown junkie. turn around while you still can...i never listened when people told me that but i should have.

 

[Mr_Random89]

Because I work nights I found that it made being sleep deprived amazing and now that I stopped, I am slowly starting to get back into my old pre-use routine. I have started a healthier diet and because my job is physical, I normally don't have enough energry to do additional exercise.

I have stopped all connections with this "friend" (I use that term as a figure of speech) despite the constant texts and calls from them wanting to party, I have been strong and said no - despite the fact that my mind screams "Yes!" I end up having an inward battle with myself and implode.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

As time passes you will feel better. Remember why you wanted to quit in the first place, and never forget that you'll end up with the same unpleasant emotionless affect type mental state if you relapse.

Best of luck.

 

[herbavore]

Take it one day at a time. Everything feels more manageable when it doesn't seem like it will go on forever--which it won't. Stay strong.