Sleeping Alone.

[rewiiired]

Sleeping Alone.
10/19/03
5:58 AM

Crawl your way to my door again
you’ve got no direction home.
I know you’re still afraid of me,
but even more afraid to sleep alone.

Sheets between us on my bed.
Me, beneath. You, atop. Confusion like a cloud above.
Reminding me how lonely I’ve been.
Making me wonder if I’ll die before…

Haven’t you ever wanted two diametrically opposing things?
Haven’t you ever felt your facing a monstrosity of nauseating
misunderstanding in all the minds you meet on this crooked path called life?
Ever consider you don’t even know yourself,
much less anything about anything or anyone else?

Well, I deal with it everyday, so keep your astute assumptions
and prejudgments bottle them up and put them on the shelf,
because I’m so tired I can’t sleep, overworked from over thinking,
overanalyzing, over-assuming, over-prejudging people like you
and situations such as the one that wraps around and connects us,
and the world can look so damn ugly, but far worse the leprous form I see
gazing back at e from the eye in mirror on my wall
and the mirror of my mind.

Maybe I’ll show you my dreams someday.
I push myself to put my insides on my sleeve
but you can’t even peer through the mask I can’t pry off,
and it kills me you don’t even try –
how hard and long have I looked into all of you?

You can consider me a bad friend.
Consider me an ambivalent maybe beyond that line,
but don’t doubt that I have tried so fucking hard throughout
every step of my life to understand, to look beneath and between.
Maybe I neglected the surface things, but it’s suicide to get so close
to only then realize how truly far away I really am –
because you won’t step in.
You won’t get your fucking feet wet.
You just don’t see me at all.
If I threw someone with my same face
in my position, would you notice a difference at all?
I want to ask, but I can’t put it into words.
I feel this, but what’s the point of sharing hurt?
Why would I want to exploit it as he did
this evening?

Yet I can’t help but wonder: do you think I feel at all,
or do you see only empty eyes, like she did?
How many years will it take you till you
bow up and tell me all you think of me –
load up the gun and shoot out all that misunderstanding at me
in an all-out attack, like a knife in my back?
These thoughts and feelings are swirling and cramping so fuck it.
For now, I’ll just enjoy the little beauty
the lies afford.

So crawl your way to my door again
you’ve got no direction home.
I know you’re still afraid of me,
but even more afraid to sleep alone.

Sheets between us on my bed.
Me, beneath. You, atop. Confusion like a cloud above.
With you reminding me how lonely I’ve been.
Making me wonder if I’ll die
before I ever truly love.

 

[smileyfish]

Rewiiired, I think this is one of the best peices you've posted in here. Very deep, very personal. Good flow and rhythm throughout - I enjoyed.

Smiley

 

[katmeow]

I'd rate this up there with 'Confessional with a Pulse' as one of my fave pieces of yours rewiiired.

I could quote the lot, but in particular I liked these sections...

because I’m so tired I can’t sleep, overworked from over thinking,
overanalyzing, over-assuming, over-prejudging people like you
and situations such as the one that wraps around and connects us,
and the world can look so damn ugly

/\/\ I can relate to this one, sometimes it'd be so nice to be able to switch the brain off!!

Sheets between us on my bed.
Me, beneath. You, atop. Confusion like a cloud above.
With you reminding me how lonely I’ve been.
Making me wonder if I’ll die
before I ever truly love.

This again strikes a chord and I wish it didn't


Nice work... I like the way your mind works!