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Bluelight Crew
Hey,
Hopefully this is the right place to post this, sorry if not.
So thanks to the helpful people of BDD, a couple months back I figured out that the recurrent episodes of being completely unable to move or react and seeing some figure I'm terrified of in the corner of my room while on high doses of heroin (as in very deep nod), was very probably sleep paralysis. This happens on high doses of codeine too btw. As I mentioned back then, I'll just be lying in bed in that sort of barely conscious nodding state and just see some horror movie figure (it's always that dude from Saw, or Patrick Bateman, or Hannibal Lecter...you get the idea) standing at the other end of the room - and I'm convinced they're there to torture me/kill me. It sounds stupid but just imagine you could very clearly see a guy standing over you with a bloody chainsaw and there was nothing you could do about it. And you were truly, truly sure he was there. Not fun.
It usually just lasts a few minutes, after which I'll come to with a massive headache, feeling really weak all over and, you guessed it, pretty intense paranoia.
I know you're going to tell me to quit heroin - and I have. However I'm coming off months of abuse and even longer with codeine/other opiates (although I've never noticed it with others) and it's now happening when I'm perfectly sober. Well, not exactly - I just tried to sleep about an hour ago, turned the lights off and ended up having a massive panic attack because I could vaguely see it happening again. It clearly wasn't really sleep paralysis though since I was able to get up and turn the lights on. Sometimes I literally am stuck to the bed unable to do anything though.
Anyway, point being - I'm now terrified to try to sleep (now that I've stopped gear it only ever happens when I'm about to fall asleep, maybe once a week or so). I'd rather be up all night than risk experiencing it again, which obviously isn't terrific for my mood or health.
Does anyone have any experience with it/any idea how to help? I'd be really really grateful.
Thanks, and sorry if this is all kinda disconnected - as I mentioned, not in a very clear state of mind right now.
Hopefully this is the right place to post this, sorry if not.
So thanks to the helpful people of BDD, a couple months back I figured out that the recurrent episodes of being completely unable to move or react and seeing some figure I'm terrified of in the corner of my room while on high doses of heroin (as in very deep nod), was very probably sleep paralysis. This happens on high doses of codeine too btw. As I mentioned back then, I'll just be lying in bed in that sort of barely conscious nodding state and just see some horror movie figure (it's always that dude from Saw, or Patrick Bateman, or Hannibal Lecter...you get the idea) standing at the other end of the room - and I'm convinced they're there to torture me/kill me. It sounds stupid but just imagine you could very clearly see a guy standing over you with a bloody chainsaw and there was nothing you could do about it. And you were truly, truly sure he was there. Not fun.
It usually just lasts a few minutes, after which I'll come to with a massive headache, feeling really weak all over and, you guessed it, pretty intense paranoia.
I know you're going to tell me to quit heroin - and I have. However I'm coming off months of abuse and even longer with codeine/other opiates (although I've never noticed it with others) and it's now happening when I'm perfectly sober. Well, not exactly - I just tried to sleep about an hour ago, turned the lights off and ended up having a massive panic attack because I could vaguely see it happening again. It clearly wasn't really sleep paralysis though since I was able to get up and turn the lights on. Sometimes I literally am stuck to the bed unable to do anything though.
Anyway, point being - I'm now terrified to try to sleep (now that I've stopped gear it only ever happens when I'm about to fall asleep, maybe once a week or so). I'd rather be up all night than risk experiencing it again, which obviously isn't terrific for my mood or health.
Does anyone have any experience with it/any idea how to help? I'd be really really grateful.
Thanks, and sorry if this is all kinda disconnected - as I mentioned, not in a very clear state of mind right now.
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