for once in my life, i am single.
thinking about it,
it's been five years,
jumping from one guy to another,
not for any sexual reasons (maybe once or twice)
but just for the sake of being with someone.
i thought i did it to prove that i was beautiful,
maybe to prove that i was wanted, and i could get anyone i wanted. but it was never enough..
endless nights of heartache, endless days of breaking hearts, trying to reach out to the person lying next to me,
and when it became impossible i would just run
to whoever was next in my path.
all these years and i still think i'm nothing.
tonight i sit here alone thinking i've made it this far,
it is an addiction
it is my escape.
the kind of escape that would last for weeks then end in a downspiral into my black hole.
but i'm still single and letting go of all my insecurities.
it's tempting to just run back,
but do i really want to go back?
thinking about it,
it's been five years,
jumping from one guy to another,
not for any sexual reasons (maybe once or twice)
but just for the sake of being with someone.
i thought i did it to prove that i was beautiful,
maybe to prove that i was wanted, and i could get anyone i wanted. but it was never enough..
endless nights of heartache, endless days of breaking hearts, trying to reach out to the person lying next to me,
and when it became impossible i would just run
to whoever was next in my path.
all these years and i still think i'm nothing.
tonight i sit here alone thinking i've made it this far,
it is an addiction
it is my escape.
the kind of escape that would last for weeks then end in a downspiral into my black hole.
but i'm still single and letting go of all my insecurities.
it's tempting to just run back,
but do i really want to go back?
