Sigh

I feel very weird. I forgot my psych appt on Thursday so have to ring on Monday and reschedule. I think I'll see him in a couple of weeks as I still have not been able to do a couple of relatively simple tasks he wanted me to do- which involve social activity with a bunch of strnagers.

I take my meds, go about my day and am generally doing okay, but am also still unable to get over massive anxiety and agoraphobia. My depression seems to be getting a bit worse too so the bump up in effexor will have to go ahead.

I doubt its effectiveness reallly. Its never had its advertised affect on anxiety to me or anyone else I know who has been on it.

Seroquel: is getting to be a joke now. Maybe its time to stop taking it as it does not really do much except on days my head just cant keep up with my thinking.

I cant sit down quietly and read a book like I used to. At all. My mind cant focus on anything for long these days.

Im a bit stressed out about finding a place to live, so maybe this is what is getting to me.

Ben is back in Sydney, I miss him heaps. But I don't feel alone or insecure at all, which is odd. I feel him near me and know we are meant to be together

xx

 

My personal opinion is that if the meds aren't working, then go off them. Especially meds for anxiety. But I'm not a doctor, so don't take my advice.

I would go crazy if I couldn't read. Lately I've been having a couple of books on the go at once, and I just couldn't imagine not reading. So you have my utmost sympathy on that point.

A weird day sober is still better than a 'normal' day using though, so that's still something.

 

Zeph, it seems like overall Effexor has been teh_suck for you and that it's time to look into other treatment options. I'll spare you the SSRI lecture as you know my thoughts on these drugs already. If you are comfortable upping the dosage and your doctor thinks it's a good idea, try it - you're already on the stuff and would have to eventually withdraw anyway. If the drug had some kind of neuroprotective effect or actually assisted in resetting the brain chemistry back to normal after years of stimulant/polydrug use, I might be a little more in favor of its use.

It sucks that buproprion is not prescribed for depression there as there are numerous studies that indicate it helps with PAWS-type symptoms specifically in recovering amphetamine addicts. Perhaps you can take up a cigarette habit for a day and tell the doc you need to quit smoking.

I continue to believe you will benefit the most from counseling (particularly cognitive-behavioral) so that you can "relearn" the thought patterns that meth deviated, in conjunction with as low a dose as possible of a safe, effective antidepressant. Time will allow your brain to correct itself provided that your doctor does not act irresponsibly by being in bed with Big Pharma. Watch alcohol. I have read accounts from several people on this board alone who quit meth only to take up the bottle.

{{hugs}} hope some of this was of help.