I wanted to hit a meeting in North Philly today. North Philly is where ya go for whatever drugs you need. We have MANY open air drug markets and I heard that the meetings 'in the heart of it all' were fuckin' hardcore.
Three of us cruised down to a (I never knew these existed) NA Clubhouse. Well its a Recovery Building that has meetings for a couple of 12 Step fellowships. The place was cool. It was dirty, had a leaky roof and there was a dude nodding out on one of the benches. THIS is what its about, I was thinking.
Anyway, we got the time for the meeting from one of the directories but it wasn't accurate so we missed the meeting.
We decided to cruise out and grab some Taco Bell. On the way out the neighborhood started looking VERY familiar. I'm finding that I don't pay attention as much when I drive and when I snapped out of my little fog, I saw a street that I knew well. I was a block away from where I used to cop every day.
I was filled with all kinds of stuff inside. I could either drive straight, bypassing the corner boys OR I could take a right (out of curiosity) and drive by my old spot.
I turned right.
NO ONE has ANY business driving down that street unless they live there or intend to buy something.
I drove past the corner and saw the crew out but I couldn't bring myself to look at anyone. I just stared stright ahead. If I made eye contact then... well, you know. Eye contact is the first part of the copping process.
I had no desire to use but I sure was curious, nostalgic and reminiscent of the bad ol' days. I can't explain the discomfort but I can say that I DID NOT BELONG there anymore.
I was well known there and a VERY good customer. I kinda feel like I betrayed there business by getting clean. Weird, huh?
Oh well, I keep learnin' some stuff which is kinda cool. Sometimes learning is uncomfortable.
Three of us cruised down to a (I never knew these existed) NA Clubhouse. Well its a Recovery Building that has meetings for a couple of 12 Step fellowships. The place was cool. It was dirty, had a leaky roof and there was a dude nodding out on one of the benches. THIS is what its about, I was thinking.
Anyway, we got the time for the meeting from one of the directories but it wasn't accurate so we missed the meeting.
We decided to cruise out and grab some Taco Bell. On the way out the neighborhood started looking VERY familiar. I'm finding that I don't pay attention as much when I drive and when I snapped out of my little fog, I saw a street that I knew well. I was a block away from where I used to cop every day.
I was filled with all kinds of stuff inside. I could either drive straight, bypassing the corner boys OR I could take a right (out of curiosity) and drive by my old spot.
I turned right.
NO ONE has ANY business driving down that street unless they live there or intend to buy something.
I drove past the corner and saw the crew out but I couldn't bring myself to look at anyone. I just stared stright ahead. If I made eye contact then... well, you know. Eye contact is the first part of the copping process.
I had no desire to use but I sure was curious, nostalgic and reminiscent of the bad ol' days. I can't explain the discomfort but I can say that I DID NOT BELONG there anymore.
I was well known there and a VERY good customer. I kinda feel like I betrayed there business by getting clean. Weird, huh?
Oh well, I keep learnin' some stuff which is kinda cool. Sometimes learning is uncomfortable.
