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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

sick.

Ds

Ds

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
31,990
Location
God's Country
Well didnt kno of a good enough title. But after going thru the shit i went thru jus now wit my mom n stepdad i dont know what else ro do besides get high. This is going to b the last time i get high. I dont wanna trigger the happys here. Its done with
d out
 
Don't do it man. You have more to live for even if you haven't realized it. Also saw your post in the ttys thread. Please don't take your own life. There is a light out of every tunnel and that sounds cliche but its very true. Shit, I've been through a lot and I'm still going through a lot. Depression, homelessness, living in a shelter, transitional housing, close ones dead and this just happened this summer into this year. There was a lot more before that and yeah I've thought about just oding or some shit but nah. We aren't put through all this bullshit for nothing. They say God or whoever there may be only puts the ones who can handle it through these tough times. Its because he/she/it knows we're strong people but of course quitting is always thought about but you still have a lot more to live for. Good things will come eventually. Even if it seems like its only getting worse but things happen for a reason. Please don't kill yourself. You would be missed dearly by many.
 
*hugs* D's. Don't do anything dumb, please. You have such an incredible sense of humor and I think you are missing your calling as a writer. You are so freakin talented.
 
Shake it off D's-shake it off! You aren't always going to be stuck with your mom and stepdad/and deal with the probs that come along with them.

There's a whole big world out there-and you mean something in it; you are going to matter to someone special. Don't give up what's owed to you!!
 
thanks to everyone who posted, and cares for me while other people in my life could care less about me. The overdose was a failure thanks to my methadone tollerance. So here I am to tell a tell another day.
Life still fucking sucks for me at the moment, I live in a place where prisoners live when they get parolled from prison, most of them are violent offenders. I live in a part of town that you'd see on a specail on the Nat.Geo channel on one of the most highest murder per.captia city, 3 people were shot and killed just down the street from me over not paying a crack dealer. the story was they got some crack at the crack house on the front and ended up not paying and tried to run, and all 3 were shot and killed. I hear gunshots every 20mins after 8pm, and it doubles after 12am. It gives me stregnth to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible. Already had my nice cellphone stolen, shit is a real eye opener.
other then that, started going back NA meetings, slowly detoxing from suboxone, tommorow will b my last piece life 1mg maybe part of a strip, then hopefully ill stay free from drugs because im not trying to get caught up in that shit again. hopefully ill b able to work at this shitty labor finder/staffing place that pays by the day, and get a cellphone again, get gas money, and make it to college and back this summer(that is if my mom will help me pay for the cost of books), if she doesn't then I'll write my grandmother and ask her to help me with the cost of school books, and im sure thatl stir some shit up. yea mom and evil fucking stepfather still dont trust me, so no cash. all i ask is like a check for books, like they can make the check out to the fuckin CC college, so its not like im going buck wild with it.
starting to feel a change, dont know what to think besides im on my own now, which being 24 yrs old i should have beeen awhile ago, but drugs will change that real quick. dont have internet where im at, hell police dont even patrol where im at so no brighthouse internet trucks lol, this just gives me another reason to change my life.
will keep yal posted, and those that are my fb friends check my profile if i dont update anyone on here, not saying anything bad will happen but its hard to say at this moment.
thanks, and love you all, my true friends/family.
 
D's said:
The overdose was a failure thanks to my methadone tollerance. So here I am to tell a tell another day.
Click to expand...
Dude I cannot even put in to words how relieved I am to hear this <3
I've said everything via PM, you know how I feel. Please take care brother <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
Dude I cannot even put in to words how relieved I am to hear this <3
I've said everything via PM, you know how I feel. Please take care brother <3
Click to expand...

sent you a msg on facebook, was pretty upset when i wrote it too. thanks rose, uve always been one of my best friends here on bluelight, even tho we both come from 2 totally different backgrounds and from different parts of the world. thanks for caring when it felt like no one gave a shit., <3xxox
 
Trust me D's, your mom loves you so much. She does not think you're a bad person and she truly wants you to get better. You've gotta believe in yourself though man, you've got to keep trying <3
 
D's said:
thanks to everyone who posted, and cares for me while other people in my life could care less about me. The overdose was a failure thanks to my methadone tollerance. So here I am to tell a tell another day.
Life still fucking sucks for me at the moment, I live in a place where prisoners live when they get parolled from prison, most of them are violent offenders. I live in a part of town that you'd see on a specail on the Nat.Geo channel on one of the most highest murder per.captia city, 3 people were shot and killed just down the street from me over not paying a crack dealer. the story was they got some crack at the crack house on the front and ended up not paying and tried to run, and all 3 were shot and killed. I hear gunshots every 20mins after 8pm, and it doubles after 12am. It gives me stregnth to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible. Already had my nice cellphone stolen, shit is a real eye opener.
other then that, started going back NA meetings, slowly detoxing from suboxone, tommorow will b my last piece life 1mg maybe part of a strip, then hopefully ill stay free from drugs because im not trying to get caught up in that shit again. hopefully ill b able to work at this shitty labor finder/staffing place that pays by the day, and get a cellphone again, get gas money, and make it to college and back this summer(that is if my mom will help me pay for the cost of books), if she doesn't then I'll write my grandmother and ask her to help me with the cost of school books, and im sure thatl stir some shit up. yea mom and evil fucking stepfather still dont trust me, so no cash. all i ask is like a check for books, like they can make the check out to the fuckin CC college, so its not like im going buck wild with it.
starting to feel a change, dont know what to think besides im on my own now, which being 24 yrs old i should have beeen awhile ago, but drugs will change that real quick. dont have internet where im at, hell police dont even patrol where im at so no brighthouse internet trucks lol, this just gives me another reason to change my life.
will keep yal posted, and those that are my fb friends check my profile if i dont update anyone on here, not saying anything bad will happen but its hard to say at this moment.
thanks, and love you all, my true friends/family.
Click to expand...

I think you'll do really well for yourself man! :)
 
D's I was so relieved to hear this. Seriously, we care about you and I know life is tough now but you will always have a purpose to keep living for, and that's just the fight for a better life <3
 
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