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AADD Moderators: Tronica
Sick, Twisted & Wrong Jokes - Part IV
- Thread starter deeCee
- Start date
- Status
Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't fucking listen.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
Q. What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection??
A. A quater pounder with cheese.
Q. What do you get a blind deaf dumb kid get for christmas?
A. Cancer
Q: What should you throw to a drowning aboriginal?
A: His wife and kids
Q. What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
A. The wheelchair.
Q. Why can't Jesus play basketball?
A. He's nailed to a cross.
A: They don't fucking listen.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
Q. What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection??
A. A quater pounder with cheese.
Q. What do you get a blind deaf dumb kid get for christmas?
A. Cancer
Q: What should you throw to a drowning aboriginal?
A: His wife and kids
Q. What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
A. The wheelchair.
Q. Why can't Jesus play basketball?
A. He's nailed to a cross.
AuraithX
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 22, 2006
- Messages
- 4,503
Racist
Q: Whats the difference between a black person and a bench
A: A bench can support a family of five.
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw the gas bill.
Q: Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza
A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
Dead Baby
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: 6
Q: Whats the difference between a black person and a bench
A: A bench can support a family of five.
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw the gas bill.
Q: Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza
A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
Dead Baby
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: 6
katmeow
Bluelight Crew
Breaking News........
In what may be a major breakthrough, Jamaican police investigating the
murder of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer at the World Cup have today
released a picture of a man heard shouting Woolmer! whilst beating on
Woolmers door.
Police hope with the release of the photo a member of the public may
recognise the suspect..............
In what may be a major breakthrough, Jamaican police investigating the
murder of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer at the World Cup have today
released a picture of a man heard shouting Woolmer! whilst beating on
Woolmers door.
Police hope with the release of the photo a member of the public may
recognise the suspect..............
NSFW:
ControlDenied
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2007
- Messages
- 3,108
Beech- nice joke collection! Highly superior!
(these ones are not as good and everyone's probly heard em and I suck at these kinds of jokes, but whatever)
Q:When does a black guy become a nigger?
A: When he leaves the room
Q: Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
A: Cuz he's a nigger.
Q: How did the dead baby cross the road?
A: He was stapled to the chicken
(these ones are not as good and everyone's probly heard em and I suck at these kinds of jokes, but whatever)
Q:When does a black guy become a nigger?
A: When he leaves the room
Q: Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
A: Cuz he's a nigger.
Q: How did the dead baby cross the road?
A: He was stapled to the chicken
college_dropout
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2005
- Messages
- 2,170
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D Fucking hilariousJimity said:
ControlDenied
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2007
- Messages
- 3,108
vanth said:
Burn the outsider!
ControlDenied
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2007
- Messages
- 3,108
I'm gonna make one up just for Mr. Wigger!
What's the difference between a nigger and a jew?
One's white. The other can't read.
:D (sure...it makes no sense...but it's racist so it's funny!)
What's the difference between a nigger and a jew?
One's white. The other can't read.
:D (sure...it makes no sense...but it's racist so it's funny!)
felix
Bluelight Crew
That's because - evidently - they're not making any new ones. 8)deeCee said:
And I can't even remember any old ones. Bah, I just came in here to criticise anyway, it's always the easiest policy.
LvMkngFlwrChld
Bluelighter
hmm...
how did they know princess di had dandruff?
they found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment
why doesnt jesus like m&ms?
they fall through his hands
whats the opposite of cristopher reaves?
christofer walken
why doesnt jesus like hockey?
he doesnt want to get nailed to the boards
whats orange and blue and sits at the bottom of a pool?
a baby with slashed floaties
whats red and orange and floats at the top of a pool?
floaties with a slashed baby
how many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
who cares, let the bitch cook in the dark
whats the worst thing about a caddilac with 5 australians goin off a cliff?
a caddilac seats 6
what do you tell a women with 2 black eyes?
nothin you already done told her twice
whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
you cant unload a truck full of dead babies with a pitchfork.
whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?
i dont have a picture of jesus hanging on my wall
it only takes 1 nail to hang a picture of jesus.
alright, so adam is kickin it in his cave and god comes by and is all "hey man, where's eve at? so adam tells god that eve is swimmin in the river. thats when god says "dammit, now all the fish are gonna smell like that"
how did they know princess di had dandruff?
they found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment
why doesnt jesus like m&ms?
they fall through his hands
whats the opposite of cristopher reaves?
christofer walken
why doesnt jesus like hockey?
he doesnt want to get nailed to the boards
whats orange and blue and sits at the bottom of a pool?
a baby with slashed floaties
whats red and orange and floats at the top of a pool?
floaties with a slashed baby
how many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
who cares, let the bitch cook in the dark
whats the worst thing about a caddilac with 5 australians goin off a cliff?
a caddilac seats 6
what do you tell a women with 2 black eyes?
nothin you already done told her twice
whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
you cant unload a truck full of dead babies with a pitchfork.
whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?
i dont have a picture of jesus hanging on my wall
it only takes 1 nail to hang a picture of jesus.
alright, so adam is kickin it in his cave and god comes by and is all "hey man, where's eve at? so adam tells god that eve is swimmin in the river. thats when god says "dammit, now all the fish are gonna smell like that"
Not quite sick and twisted, but definitely un-PC...
Three blokes - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an Aussie engineer are all working together one day and they come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total" says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.
" POOOOFF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Israel, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Australians can come into our precious state.
" POOOFF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Aussie Engineer says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."
The Aussie Engineer sits down, cracks a beer, smiles and says, "Fill it with water"........
Three blokes - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an Aussie engineer are all working together one day and they come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total" says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.
" POOOOFF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Israel, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Australians can come into our precious state.
" POOOFF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Aussie Engineer says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."
The Aussie Engineer sits down, cracks a beer, smiles and says, "Fill it with water"........
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