a list of jokes that will offend just about anyone on here......
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
A: Before the First Period.
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
Q: What is a redneck virgin?
A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Q: What do you throw a Mexican man when he's drowning?
A: His wife and kids.
Q: Why is a Black mans eyes always red after sex?
A: From the mace
Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?
A: You would too if you were named Auuurraaagggghhh!
Q: What is the most positive thing in harlem?
A: HIV
Q: How do you drown a black preson?
A: Pop their lips.
Q: Why do Jewish girls like to fuck doggy style?
A: They can't stand to see somebody else have a good time.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: One stops sucking when you slap it.
Q: Who are the two most famous black women?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker.
Q: What's long, black and smelly?
A: An unemployment line.
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rical midget?
A: A spec.
Q: What's the difference between a British man and his girlfriend?
A: His girlfriend has a higher sperm count.
Q: Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?
A: Because spray paint wasn't invented until 1949.
Q: What did Dodi Al-Fayed say to his driver the morning before the crash?
A: Do you want to go out with me and Di tonight?
Q. How do you know if a Chinese person robbs your house?
A. Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Q: What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: Why is it so hard for Mexican women to get pregnant?
A: Because as soon as the sperm enters the cell it tries to hang itself.
Q: How do you starve a black man?
A: hide his foodstamps under his workboots.
Q: What's the first thing a redneck says after losing her virginity?
A: Get off of me Dad, you're crushing my cigarettes.
Q: What do rednecks and KFC have in common?
A: They do chicken right.
Q: In Kentucky, what do divorces and tornados have in common.
A: Either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Q: Why do the Scottish wear kilts?
A: Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.
Q: What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire?
A: Drowns
Q: Two (insert favorite ethnic group here) jump off the top of a very tall building. Which one his the ground first?
A: Who gives a fuck?
Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow-job?
A: You know she'll swallow.
Q: Why did the redneck cross the road?
A: Because he coundn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Q: What does a redneck say after sex?
A: Thanks Mom.
Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A: Quarter pounder with cheese.
Q: How do you kill 100 Mexicans?
A: Blow up their van.
Q: What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool?
A: Sinko
Q: What's black and blue and hates sex?
A: A rape victim.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.
Q: What did the little black boy say when he got diarrhea?
A: I'm melting!
Q: Why do black people smell?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
Q: What do you call a fat chinese person?
A: A chunk.
Q: What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas?
A: My bike.
Q: How are fat bitches and Mo-peds the same?
A: They are both fun to ride, but you don't tell your friends about them.
Q: How many house wives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None! what the Fuck they doing out of the kitchen!?
Q: How do you blindfold a chinese person?
A: Dental floss.
Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!
Q: How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
A: 54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
Q: Why do black people play basketball?
A: They can run, shoot, and steal
Q:What did Adolf Hitler get his neice for her birthday?
A: An easy bake oven.
Q:What would the Jetsons be called if they were black?
A: Niggers.
Q: What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?
A: On St. Patrick's Day, everyone wants to be Irish.
Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?
A: Ethiopian
Q: Why don't Puerto Ricans have check books?
A: Because it's impossible to sign your name that small with spray paint.
Q: How do you know when a redneck has her period?
A: She's only wearing one sock.
Q: What do you call an ethiopian with buck teeth?
A: A rake.
Q: What do you call an ethiopian wearing a turban?
A: Aq-tip.
Q: What's this? (pinches skin on both sides of neck)
A: An ethiopian eating a cornflake.
Q: Why do they put shit around the church at a packy wedding?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Q:How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white girl?
A:Throw them a basket ball.
Q: What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A: Full
Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers Use'ta Beat Us.
Q:Whats the difference between a pakie & a bucket of shit?
A:The bucket.
Q:What do you call a pakie with a wooden leg?
A:Shit on a stick.
Q:What do you call a pakie with two wooden legs?
A:A waste of wood.
Q: What do you call an ethiopian jumping off a cliff?
A: A chocolate drop.
Q: How do you get 100 jews into a car?
A: Throw a quarter in it.
Q: How do you get them out again?
A: Tell them Hilter is driving.
Q: What do you call two ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
A: Twix.
Q: How do you get 100 ethiopians into a phone box?
A: Throw a tin of beans in.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Run past with a tin opener.
Q: Why do arabian women put a red dot on their foreheads?
A: Helps for better aiming.
Q: What do you do after you rape a 12 year old deaf dumband blind girl?
A: Brake her fingers so she cant tell her mom.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico enter the Olympics?
A: Because all their best runners, jumpers and swimmers are in America.
Q: How did the Grand Canyon get there?
A: Two Jews dropped a quarter down a gopher hole.
Q: How do you kill a redneck?
A: Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.
Q: How do you kill 100 Ethiopians?
A: Throw a Biscuit off a clif.
Q: What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?
A: Throw in a load of dirty laundry.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.
Q: How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
A: Call her on the phone.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A:"I feel like a kid again."
Q: What do you get when cross an Italian with a gorilla?
A: A retarded gorilla.
Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A: Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing you already done told her twice.
Q: Why could Jesus walk on water?
A: Shit Floats.
Q: What do you get wne you cross a black man and a mexican.
A: A person who's too lazy to steal.
Q: (hold hands out like a crucifiction) What's this?
A: A really bad way to spend easter
Q: What was good about the million man march?
A: Only three people missed work.
Q: What do you do when your womans watch breaks?
A: Nothing there's a clock on the stove.
Q: Why aren't there any puerto ricans on Star Trek?
A: They won't work in the future either.
Q: How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool?
A: Flip it upside-down.
Q: What do you call a blacks in a sleeping bag?
A: Snickers.
Q: What do you call two blacks in a sleeping bag?
A: Twix.
Q: What do you call a black and a white girl in a sleeping bag?
A: Rape.
Q: What's the useless skin around a vagina called?
A: The woman.
Q: Why are KFC and a woman the same?
A: When you're done eating them all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: How do you keep an indian out of your back yard?
A: Move the trash cans to the front.
Q: Why did God give women three more brain cells than cows?
A: So they don't shit on the floor while doing the dishes.
Q: Why is tylenol white and not black?
A: It works.
Q: Why do Jews have big noses?
A: Because air is free.
Q: Why do Black people have sex doggy style?
A: So they can both watch Soul Train!
Q: What's a homless woman use for a vibrator?
A: Two flies in a bottel.
Q: Why was helen keller such a bad driver?
A: She was a woman
Q: How's a packie keep the flies off her food?
A: Opens her legs.
Q: What is a nickname for a chinese person?
A: Sleepwalker.
Q: How can you tell when an Etiopian is pregnant
A: Her tampon is half eaten
Q: Do you wanna hear a joke?
A: Women's Rights.
Q: Whats the new definition for mass confusion?
A: Fathers day in harlem.
Q: Whats the difference between a black man and a bike?
A: Your bike doesnt start singing when you put chains on it
Q: Whats the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A: It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Q: Why shouldn't women have driver's licenses?
A: There's no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.
Q: What do you call a Mexican with a sunburn?
A: A REFRIED BEAN
Q: What do you call a white Orgy?
A: A snowball
Q: What do you call a Black Orgy?
A: Mud Wrestling
Q: What do you call a Mexican Orgy?
A: FAMILY REUNION!
Q: Did you hear about the Taliban members that they found in Harlem?
A: They caught Bin Stealin', Bin Rapin' and Bin' Bangin'. However, Bin Workin' is still at large.
Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A: A canoe tips
Q: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year?
A: They dont fucking listen
Q: What do you call a black priest?
A: Holy shit
Q: What's the worst thing about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Q: How do you circumcise a redneck?
A: Kick his sister in the chin.
Q: Whats black and drips down the window?
A: Coondensation
Q. Did you hear about Ku Klux Knievel's last stunt?
A. He tried to jump over 50 niggers in a steam roller.
Q: Why are black peoples palms white?
A:Because theres a little bit of good in everyone!
Q: Why does helen keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other
Q: What do Ethiopeians use for deoderant?
A: Chapstick
Q: Why are black peoples palms white?
A: Cuz they were up against the wall when god was spray painting them.
Q: Did you hear about the chinese couple that had a retarted baby?
A: Yea, they named it, Sum Ting Wong!!
Q: What do black people get when they pick thier nose?
A: Noogers!!
Q: Have you heard about the new car designed by the Jews?
A: It stops on a dime and then picks it up
Q: What do u call 4 mexicans in quicksand?
A: Cuatro sinco.
Q: How many irish does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 2, one to hold it in place and the other to drink intill the room spins.
Q: Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico?
A: 200 Mexicans died.
Q: What does the human race and jelly beans have in common?
A: Nobody likes the Black ones.
Q: How do you know if an italian has been in your back yard?
A: Your garbage is knocked over and your dog is preagnent.
Q: What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of 4
Q: How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None,they just sit in the dark and bitch
Q: What is the difference between a Russian and a bag of shit?
A: Nothing
Q: Why is the black power sign a clenched fist?
A: So they dont fall off the trees.
Q: Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q: What's the best thing about fucking homeless girls?
A: When you're done, you can drop 'em off anywhere.
Q: What did Hitler Give his Daughter for Christmas?
A: An easy bake oven.
Q: Why did hitler kill himself?
A: He got his gas bill.
Q: What do fags call their balls?
A: "Mud flaps"
Q: What happens when you stick your hand in a bowl full of black jelly beans?
A: You get your watch stolen.
Q: Whats long and hard on a black man?
A: The first grade.
Q: What's the difference between a black man and Batman going to a deli?
A: Batman can go to a Deli without Robin!
Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio' s face and said "lie to me!"
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury dough boy?
A: Ared headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on?
A: He broke his nose.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up like an altarboy.
Q: What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand?
A: A spicket fence.
Q: What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A: A rotten banana.
Q: Why can't stevie wonder read?
A: Because he's black.
Q: How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit?
A: Nine months.
Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans in a swimming pool?
A: Bean dip.
Q: Whats the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne?
A: Acne doesn't come on a boys face untill after hes thirteen.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher doesn't work?
A: Slap her.
Q: What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a hill?
A: An avalance.
Q: What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill?
A: A mudslide
Q: What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?
A: A jailbreak
