• 🇳🇿 🇲🇲 🇯🇵 🇨🇳 🇦🇺 🇦🇶 🇮🇳
    Australian & Asian
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

Sick, Twisted & Wrong Jokes - Part II

Status
Not open for further replies.
Van Nguyens prison officer asked him what he would like as a last meal. Van Nguyen replied that he didn't want a meal but would prefer a long neck instead.
 
Van Ngyuens girlfriend was very distrot after the hanging last friday...

She found out he boyfriend was a SWINGER!!!
 
I stole this joke from Mazey in the Lounge....

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?














Nothing, they were both stuck up cunts !
 
Did you know that Van Nguyen's favourite holiday destination was in fact Noosa?
 
My sis went to make a beauty appointment the other day at Schapelle Corby's salone, no appointment tho cos there was a sign on the door "back in 20" ha ha
 
Did you hear about the Lebanese olympic boxing team?

when they got to the venue, they found it was one on one so they all went home ;)
 
Ol Molly Brown

There once was a woman named Molly Brown
She swore no man could lay her down
Well, over the hill came pistol pete, with 90 pounds of swingin meat

Pete laid Molly down on the fresh green grass and stuck his pecker straight up her ass.
Molly Let loose with a big loud fart, and blew poor Pete's whole dick apart
Now over the hill comes Pistol Pete, with 20 grams of sliced meat.


These three Vampires go into a bar:
One orders a Bloody Mary, the second one orders a Red beer, and the third orders a glass of water.
Looking at them confused, the bartender says, Water, I thought you guys drank blood, I mean, Bloody Mary, Red Beer I understand, but Water?
The Third Vampire opened his cape and pulled out a freshly bloodied tampon and says..."Im having Tea"
 
The newest pill on the market, a diet tranquilizer. You wont lose any weight, but you dont fucking care!

A patient asks his doctor, is this habit forming. The Doctor replies, "Not at all, I have been on it for twelve years."
 
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.


Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground, scattering the toys.

With his temper almost beyond control, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffeepot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus, began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
 
viagra is now available in eye drops.... u dont get an erection but fuck you look hard
 
Tell this one to a chick..

Do you know the difference between a salad sandwich and a blow job?

NO?

Would you like to goto lunch tomorrow then?
 
Q:if two black ppl jump off a cliff who wins?
A:Society

Q:Why do you put babies in a blender feet first?
A: So you can still jack off over their face

Q:Whats more dangerous than a funnel-web in sydney?
A:A trapdoor in singapore

Did you hear Diana Ross' husband died from falling off a cliff? Guess there was a mountain high enough...

Q: Whats green and mows my lawn?
A: He's my nigger and ill paint him whatever colour i want

haha good times
 
Last edited:
Why do aborigines hate panadol?

Because they're white and they work...

What's the definition of an Aborigine virgin?

A girl who can run faster than her brother...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top