Do not be afraid to see a doctor. Here in "the west" there is rarely a scenario where you can be locked up due to an existing addiction problem, except of course when either violence or the use of a motor vehicle is involved.
Go to the E.R. or walk-in clinic (whatever you can afford). They are going to run a couple of elementary tests on you to ensure that you aren't dying or anything other than dopesick. Best case scenario: you walk out of there after speaking to a compassionate doctor, who maybe writes you some Librium/Clonidine or even Bupe (probably only in europe, but optimism can be pretty helpful during withdrawal. The other scenario is that you are written a script for Clonidine, pills or patch sans benzo's. A healthy dose of Clonidine when in dope or any kind of sickness can work wonders. .2-.3 would be a good dose. Clonidine will help alleviate many of the physical symptoms of withdrawal and to a lesser extent, the psychological ones.
Most people who find themselves in opiate withdrawal report feelings of intense inner restlessness and anxiety. Restless Legs Syndrome is common as well, not to mention the constant hot/cold flashes. Clonidine will help with all of these symptoms and will most likely put you to sleep much easier. It's not an opiate and nothing other than an opiate will truly bring you of the withdrawal hell. Your best bet is to get the clonidine, if you are like most people it will make you feel
much better. The fact that it is not a true drug of abuse, doctors are much more willing to prescribe it.
Long story short, go see a doctor as soon as you can. You will not be prosecuted for doing so. People often complain and say "The doctos/nurses will not do anything for you, you will still be in hell." I think that's somewhat accurate. No one is going to give you a fix, which is why us junkies, accuse the medical community of lacking compassion for us. You are better off to side with them and go through the motions. They are there to help. Some doctors are assholes, but some actually follow their hippocratic oath and will do anything within reason to help you.
It will make things easier for you, but it might also get you flagged within your health plan as a "Drug Abuser". The truth is that if you continue to use drugs on a regular basis, this wont be your last emergency visit. Things might get much worse than they are now. Point being, if you're addiction is hidden now, statiscally it can get much worse. Be happy that you came to this realization relatively early (before jail/prison, lost job, relationships).
Come clean, do a full bow for your physician and be essentially honest about your situation. Make the MD feel important, like everything you're hearing is brand spanking new. It's not worth you're help to risk bodily harm when we live in such a great country with all of these things available. Make the call, and help yourself. It will give you both peace of mind and perhaps even a solution to your problem.
OP; feel free to PM me, I feel your pain and i could possible have some information first-hand that you might not be able to learn elseware. GOOD LUCK!
