A continuation...
On September 3rd, when I should have been serenading Lovely on her 23rd birthday on the beach outside her window I was en route to Zambales Province to spend 4 days in the Iglesia ni Cristo compound (Church of Christ, a homegrown cult). I was keenly aware of being targetted for conversion but was trying to get Lovely out of my mind and what better way than another girl- even IF she is a demented cultist hahaha.
I took a commuter bus which in the Philippines means sharing the bus with livestock (seriously) and all manner of people. In Mindanao busses are frequently bombed, grenade attacks or just mayhem from the barrel of an M16 (thanks Uncle Sam). In Central Luzon though the biggest danger is a catastrophic accident or a pickpocket- tame compared to Mindanao. Arriving in the municipality of Iba Mariz and her parents were there to pick me up from the bus station in their minivan and away I went down the rabbit hole weeeeeeee...
Stowing my overnight bag in the compound guesthouse I joined the family for a lunch of "lechon manok" (rotisserie chicken) and potatoe/egg salad and Sprite. One great thing about the Philippines is that softdrinks still come in glass bottles, and I have become addicted to Sprite though I won't touch it in any other nation. After I accompanied Mariz to her church choir practice, along with her mum and 9 year old sister Mickey who sings in the childrens' choir. I didn't realise it at the time but accompanying them was, in her co-religionists' eyes, a proclamation of sorts, telling them that Mariz and I were an item. All the giggling was a bit strange but that is the same no matter who you are around in the Philippines. Filipinas are so naïve, or innocent depending upon your perspective, but it can be misleading. In some ways they are just as "fast" as their Western counterparts.
A lot, maybe most Western men have this idea that Filipinas are submissive and only aspire to serve you a sixpack on their knees while blowing you. In reality? I have never met a submissive Filipina. Sure, they will not normally disagree but that is only because culturally Filipinos as a whole hate direct confrontation. They will nod their heads yes but that "yes" means absolutely nothing. Filipinas have a custom called "Tampo," or "Magtampo," which has no English translation but is akin to a 5 year old child sulking. She will act childish and refuse to talk for several hours unless begged and cajoled. This is how almost all Filipinas express displeasure and if you aren't willing to play the game you will not have a sucessful relationship. Basically, that is the cliffnote version of why Rizza and I imploded. I would ignore her when she got Tampo with me. I don't kiss ass very well.
It is also true that you will hardly ever hear a Filipina scream in anger though they CAN be acidic like the bitchiest Western girl given the right situation, just with a calm voice. Another disconcerting fact of life for a Western man with a Filipina lover is the disparity in standards of living. In virtually all Western/Filipina relationships the Western man will be much better off financially. This translates into not only fully supporting the lover but often times her family as well. When the relationship begins the man is expected to court the family as well as the woman and this involves gift giving, or "Pasalubong."
At lunch, before choir practice, I had gifted Mariz's mum with a small Chanel no. 5, and her father with a Seiko watch. Mickey got a Hello Kitty watch with the thick band which is mad popular amongst Filipino kids and teens now. I gave her parents a special camera to give to 17 year old Mia who is studying Mass Communications at the Church university, New Era in Metro Manila's Quezon City. For 23 year old MJ, my mate's girlfriend, I left an Ipod and a Samsung Galaxy cellphone, since she was responsible for introducing Mariz and I. In the future one boquet of flowers and take away food is sufficient.
Western men mistake such things as "buying love," you aren't. You are taking part in an ancient custom. Some of the more primitive tribes in the Philippines give spears and swords to the men folk and cooking implements and cloth to the women. I am lucky, or WAS lucky in my marriage because Rizza comes from a rich family. Before I married her she was vacationing in Gstaad and Zurich. I never HAD to give a thing though I did invest in joint business ventures with her parents. I am very fortunate to have married into a great family even if the marriage disintegrated.
In any event, after choir we retired to the "sala" (parlour/living room) to watch DVDs which is basically all we could do at that point, every second accompanied by her mum and 9 year old Mickey. When Mariz's father arrived home he and I had one of those uncomfortable "man to man" talks. I am the father of 2 daughters (and 4 living sons) so I know how distasteful it can be initially speaking seriously with a man who wants to fuck your daughter can be. The man is always kissing your ass, ready to sell his right nut to get your approval just to help ease your virgin daughter's panties off.
Luckily my younger daughter is only 14 (she is my youngest child, at least for now). One presumes she is chaste and since she lives in rural Mexico I do think it is a fair assumption. My eldest daughter is 23 and an officer in the IDF, an equivalent to a 1st Lieutenant and a Platoon Commander in the world's only fully co-ed Infantry Battalion, "Caracal." The battalion was sublimated to my brigade, NACHAL (Nahal) so that until my retirement in 2007 I kept close tabs on her. That year I married her off in an Arranged Marriage per our custom to a Senior Officer in Sayeret Golani, an Infantry Special Forces Battalion. I knew the man since the late 1990s. My son in law is a good man, 34 years old. My daughter could have gotten a discharge having married but was, like myself and one of her brothers, aiming for a military career.
So we had that distinctly unpleasurable conversation about my "intentions." Basically, I was told it is marriage or nothing, and IF it was marriage I have to convert. I am as amenable to conversion as I am to getting a swastika tattooed on my forehead...
To be continued...
On September 3rd, when I should have been serenading Lovely on her 23rd birthday on the beach outside her window I was en route to Zambales Province to spend 4 days in the Iglesia ni Cristo compound (Church of Christ, a homegrown cult). I was keenly aware of being targetted for conversion but was trying to get Lovely out of my mind and what better way than another girl- even IF she is a demented cultist hahaha.
I took a commuter bus which in the Philippines means sharing the bus with livestock (seriously) and all manner of people. In Mindanao busses are frequently bombed, grenade attacks or just mayhem from the barrel of an M16 (thanks Uncle Sam). In Central Luzon though the biggest danger is a catastrophic accident or a pickpocket- tame compared to Mindanao. Arriving in the municipality of Iba Mariz and her parents were there to pick me up from the bus station in their minivan and away I went down the rabbit hole weeeeeeee...
Stowing my overnight bag in the compound guesthouse I joined the family for a lunch of "lechon manok" (rotisserie chicken) and potatoe/egg salad and Sprite. One great thing about the Philippines is that softdrinks still come in glass bottles, and I have become addicted to Sprite though I won't touch it in any other nation. After I accompanied Mariz to her church choir practice, along with her mum and 9 year old sister Mickey who sings in the childrens' choir. I didn't realise it at the time but accompanying them was, in her co-religionists' eyes, a proclamation of sorts, telling them that Mariz and I were an item. All the giggling was a bit strange but that is the same no matter who you are around in the Philippines. Filipinas are so naïve, or innocent depending upon your perspective, but it can be misleading. In some ways they are just as "fast" as their Western counterparts.
A lot, maybe most Western men have this idea that Filipinas are submissive and only aspire to serve you a sixpack on their knees while blowing you. In reality? I have never met a submissive Filipina. Sure, they will not normally disagree but that is only because culturally Filipinos as a whole hate direct confrontation. They will nod their heads yes but that "yes" means absolutely nothing. Filipinas have a custom called "Tampo," or "Magtampo," which has no English translation but is akin to a 5 year old child sulking. She will act childish and refuse to talk for several hours unless begged and cajoled. This is how almost all Filipinas express displeasure and if you aren't willing to play the game you will not have a sucessful relationship. Basically, that is the cliffnote version of why Rizza and I imploded. I would ignore her when she got Tampo with me. I don't kiss ass very well.
It is also true that you will hardly ever hear a Filipina scream in anger though they CAN be acidic like the bitchiest Western girl given the right situation, just with a calm voice. Another disconcerting fact of life for a Western man with a Filipina lover is the disparity in standards of living. In virtually all Western/Filipina relationships the Western man will be much better off financially. This translates into not only fully supporting the lover but often times her family as well. When the relationship begins the man is expected to court the family as well as the woman and this involves gift giving, or "Pasalubong."
At lunch, before choir practice, I had gifted Mariz's mum with a small Chanel no. 5, and her father with a Seiko watch. Mickey got a Hello Kitty watch with the thick band which is mad popular amongst Filipino kids and teens now. I gave her parents a special camera to give to 17 year old Mia who is studying Mass Communications at the Church university, New Era in Metro Manila's Quezon City. For 23 year old MJ, my mate's girlfriend, I left an Ipod and a Samsung Galaxy cellphone, since she was responsible for introducing Mariz and I. In the future one boquet of flowers and take away food is sufficient.
Western men mistake such things as "buying love," you aren't. You are taking part in an ancient custom. Some of the more primitive tribes in the Philippines give spears and swords to the men folk and cooking implements and cloth to the women. I am lucky, or WAS lucky in my marriage because Rizza comes from a rich family. Before I married her she was vacationing in Gstaad and Zurich. I never HAD to give a thing though I did invest in joint business ventures with her parents. I am very fortunate to have married into a great family even if the marriage disintegrated.
In any event, after choir we retired to the "sala" (parlour/living room) to watch DVDs which is basically all we could do at that point, every second accompanied by her mum and 9 year old Mickey. When Mariz's father arrived home he and I had one of those uncomfortable "man to man" talks. I am the father of 2 daughters (and 4 living sons) so I know how distasteful it can be initially speaking seriously with a man who wants to fuck your daughter can be. The man is always kissing your ass, ready to sell his right nut to get your approval just to help ease your virgin daughter's panties off.
Luckily my younger daughter is only 14 (she is my youngest child, at least for now). One presumes she is chaste and since she lives in rural Mexico I do think it is a fair assumption. My eldest daughter is 23 and an officer in the IDF, an equivalent to a 1st Lieutenant and a Platoon Commander in the world's only fully co-ed Infantry Battalion, "Caracal." The battalion was sublimated to my brigade, NACHAL (Nahal) so that until my retirement in 2007 I kept close tabs on her. That year I married her off in an Arranged Marriage per our custom to a Senior Officer in Sayeret Golani, an Infantry Special Forces Battalion. I knew the man since the late 1990s. My son in law is a good man, 34 years old. My daughter could have gotten a discharge having married but was, like myself and one of her brothers, aiming for a military career.
So we had that distinctly unpleasurable conversation about my "intentions." Basically, I was told it is marriage or nothing, and IF it was marriage I have to convert. I am as amenable to conversion as I am to getting a swastika tattooed on my forehead...
To be continued...
