A continuation...
Lovely didn't miss a beat. She feigned innocence and cursed the "Scammers" who she said, had taken her photos and made that "fake profile."
It is funny...the other day in CE and P Forum the subject of Mariz came up and another poster took issue with the age difference, my being 45 and Mariz being barely 20. I asked if he thought it dirty or shameful and he said no, only that some older men take advantage of younger womens' naivete. I explained how different cultures have different standards of maturity and how Mariz is finishing her Masters, etc., etc. The point though, is that far from me manipulating a younger girl, I am far more vulnerable than most any 20 year old. My culture does not believe in romantic love, so when I first felt those strong emotions for Lovely I was like a teenaged boy.
When Lovely claimed to be innocent, I actually believed her hahaha. Then, as we spoke, I opened the second dating site, typed in Lovely's particulars once again...and...just as with the first site, up came two profiles. As with the first, one profile was unused for months. The second had photos she had just taken especially for me 4 days previously. I blew up. As we talked, and I accused her elder sister in Maryland of putting these new profiles online. As the conversation became heated that profile with the new photos disappeared right before my eyes! The timing was, as they say, impeccable.
At that point I knew Lovely either had messaged her eldest sister to remove it or else deleted it herself. The eldest sister, or "Ate" (Ah-tay) Sheryll, disliked me since January when she told me that if she wanted she could convince Lovely to drop me because of my status with Rizza. Granted, my being married doesn't make me the ideal mate but it really isn't unusual in a nation that has no divorce (making it one of only two on the planet, the other nation barring divorce being Malta). Sheryll seemed as if she was threatening me though her general tone was happy go lucky.
Naturally, as soon as Sheryll signed off I phoned Lovely and discussed the conversation with her. Lovely said that I shouldn't think anything of it since she was quite able to make up her own mind and old enough to do as she pleased. Then, without my knowing, she called Sheryll and told her everything I had said. From that day on Sheryll never again talked with me and though Lovely would sometimes tell me how happy her eldest sister was that Lovely had found me, I definitely felt otherwise and would eventually discover that I had been correct in my thinking.
It is funny how we fool ourselves and adapt our thinking so as to be able to accept whatever shit our special someone dishes out and so it was that I convinced myself that Sheryll had made those new dating profiles. Lovely would get sad when I would bring this up and insist it was scammers. I in turn insisted that Lovely contact both sites and complain about identity theft. Of course she yessed me to death and even gave me a phone number she insisted was that of the scammer responsible. I called it three times and probably caused some poor Filipina to get get her ass kicked by an insanely jealous husband if background noise is any indication.
Fast forward to April...Out of the blue Lovely broke up with me as construction began on the addition to her parents' home, the addition that was to be our home. At first I was dumbfounded but it quickly turned to relief that I hadn't finished the addition- better to break it off before getting neck deep in bullshit.
The very next afternoon Lovely phoned me and told me that she had just come from an afternoon mass and had realised while praying on the matter that she did in fact love me and couldn't stand to lose me. I accepted her back while mentally committing to scrapping the addition. She told me that her father had warned her that the following day there would be yet another one of the revolving blackouts that plague Mindanao- known in Mindanao as "brownouts"- and if so, she would message or call me in the afternoon or evening after the power came back on.
Sure enough, no Lovely the following day. I ended up calling the military base near her home, Camp Bancasi, to ask about local conditions and was told no brownout had occurred that day! Instead of calling one of her sisters or her parents- since Lovely wasn't answering her phone- I decided to try something else.
I opened a dating site, one that she hadn't had a profile on but one that is very popular with Bisaya women. Sure enough, as if by magic, her face popped up on people that were currently online. I wasn't even suprised. I immediately made a fake profile and used a model's photo haha. After messaging her she immediately viewed my "profile." She came back 3 times and I finally lost patience and messaged her thus: "Lovely, you know who this is and if you do not immediately sign onto YM and deal with this I'll be in Nasipit tomorrow handing out copies of those photos I took of you." Hahahahaha.
Immediately- of course- Lovely signed onto YM and took a long time between posts. I knew she was changing her passwords quickly so that I couldn't post those photos and ruin her life. The thing is, I would never do such a thing under any circumstances. I just needed to talk to her immediately so she couldn't once again claim scammers had stolen her identity.
As she took her time I re-examined her latest profile. Headlined "Looking for Love" and spouting certified bullshit about wanting to find her soulmate, the best part was when she wrote, "I hate liars and games. I am an honest girl." Hahahaha. I laugh now but at the time I was very deeply hurt of course. To cut to the chase, a month later I agreed to give it another go and that is what brought us to July and the final breakup, but not before I found 11 more new profiles...and she couldn't believe that I loved her? It is dangerous to read motivations into a lover's negative actions. I COULD believe her lack of self esteem led her to convince herself that I could not love her and therefore led her to keep one eye on the horizon- BUT I was building a home for us so why would she doubt my sincerityV...
To be continued...
Lovely didn't miss a beat. She feigned innocence and cursed the "Scammers" who she said, had taken her photos and made that "fake profile."
It is funny...the other day in CE and P Forum the subject of Mariz came up and another poster took issue with the age difference, my being 45 and Mariz being barely 20. I asked if he thought it dirty or shameful and he said no, only that some older men take advantage of younger womens' naivete. I explained how different cultures have different standards of maturity and how Mariz is finishing her Masters, etc., etc. The point though, is that far from me manipulating a younger girl, I am far more vulnerable than most any 20 year old. My culture does not believe in romantic love, so when I first felt those strong emotions for Lovely I was like a teenaged boy.
When Lovely claimed to be innocent, I actually believed her hahaha. Then, as we spoke, I opened the second dating site, typed in Lovely's particulars once again...and...just as with the first site, up came two profiles. As with the first, one profile was unused for months. The second had photos she had just taken especially for me 4 days previously. I blew up. As we talked, and I accused her elder sister in Maryland of putting these new profiles online. As the conversation became heated that profile with the new photos disappeared right before my eyes! The timing was, as they say, impeccable.
At that point I knew Lovely either had messaged her eldest sister to remove it or else deleted it herself. The eldest sister, or "Ate" (Ah-tay) Sheryll, disliked me since January when she told me that if she wanted she could convince Lovely to drop me because of my status with Rizza. Granted, my being married doesn't make me the ideal mate but it really isn't unusual in a nation that has no divorce (making it one of only two on the planet, the other nation barring divorce being Malta). Sheryll seemed as if she was threatening me though her general tone was happy go lucky.
Naturally, as soon as Sheryll signed off I phoned Lovely and discussed the conversation with her. Lovely said that I shouldn't think anything of it since she was quite able to make up her own mind and old enough to do as she pleased. Then, without my knowing, she called Sheryll and told her everything I had said. From that day on Sheryll never again talked with me and though Lovely would sometimes tell me how happy her eldest sister was that Lovely had found me, I definitely felt otherwise and would eventually discover that I had been correct in my thinking.
It is funny how we fool ourselves and adapt our thinking so as to be able to accept whatever shit our special someone dishes out and so it was that I convinced myself that Sheryll had made those new dating profiles. Lovely would get sad when I would bring this up and insist it was scammers. I in turn insisted that Lovely contact both sites and complain about identity theft. Of course she yessed me to death and even gave me a phone number she insisted was that of the scammer responsible. I called it three times and probably caused some poor Filipina to get get her ass kicked by an insanely jealous husband if background noise is any indication.
Fast forward to April...Out of the blue Lovely broke up with me as construction began on the addition to her parents' home, the addition that was to be our home. At first I was dumbfounded but it quickly turned to relief that I hadn't finished the addition- better to break it off before getting neck deep in bullshit.
The very next afternoon Lovely phoned me and told me that she had just come from an afternoon mass and had realised while praying on the matter that she did in fact love me and couldn't stand to lose me. I accepted her back while mentally committing to scrapping the addition. She told me that her father had warned her that the following day there would be yet another one of the revolving blackouts that plague Mindanao- known in Mindanao as "brownouts"- and if so, she would message or call me in the afternoon or evening after the power came back on.
Sure enough, no Lovely the following day. I ended up calling the military base near her home, Camp Bancasi, to ask about local conditions and was told no brownout had occurred that day! Instead of calling one of her sisters or her parents- since Lovely wasn't answering her phone- I decided to try something else.
I opened a dating site, one that she hadn't had a profile on but one that is very popular with Bisaya women. Sure enough, as if by magic, her face popped up on people that were currently online. I wasn't even suprised. I immediately made a fake profile and used a model's photo haha. After messaging her she immediately viewed my "profile." She came back 3 times and I finally lost patience and messaged her thus: "Lovely, you know who this is and if you do not immediately sign onto YM and deal with this I'll be in Nasipit tomorrow handing out copies of those photos I took of you." Hahahahaha.
Immediately- of course- Lovely signed onto YM and took a long time between posts. I knew she was changing her passwords quickly so that I couldn't post those photos and ruin her life. The thing is, I would never do such a thing under any circumstances. I just needed to talk to her immediately so she couldn't once again claim scammers had stolen her identity.
As she took her time I re-examined her latest profile. Headlined "Looking for Love" and spouting certified bullshit about wanting to find her soulmate, the best part was when she wrote, "I hate liars and games. I am an honest girl." Hahahaha. I laugh now but at the time I was very deeply hurt of course. To cut to the chase, a month later I agreed to give it another go and that is what brought us to July and the final breakup, but not before I found 11 more new profiles...and she couldn't believe that I loved her? It is dangerous to read motivations into a lover's negative actions. I COULD believe her lack of self esteem led her to convince herself that I could not love her and therefore led her to keep one eye on the horizon- BUT I was building a home for us so why would she doubt my sincerityV...
To be continued...