Well I had tripped off shrooms about 5 times prior to last night, so I decided to try tripping alone and see what journey lay ahead. I aquired ~5g's of what I had heard from friends as being quite decent, and a 1/
z of Hash Plant (strain) bud. Well I excitedly ran home and prepared myself for my trip. And now...the details:
T + 00:00 (8:10pm)
3 g's of mushroom chewed and swallowed with a glass of milk (milk seems to help my stomach avoid nausea).
T + 00:20 (8:30pm)
I then took 3-4 hits from a mini-bong I had borrowed from a friend and then realized something could be going wrong...I was comming up at such an insane rate my body physically hurt. I felt pain from the come-up. It was a sort of aching feeling in my chest and legs. I stood up and fell back into my chair, I could no longer walk. No visuals yet, however.
T + 00:40 (8:50pm)
At this point I could tell my trip was turning bad, I had come up so intensly that I started to get scared (I remember saying 'SHIT...this is it' out loud). From that point, things spiralled into the most intense, terrible, insane, and crazy trip I had ever experienced. The visuals began at this point, starting with an 'outline' of everything in the room, it was as if someone had traced over the lines in a picture but I was seeing this in the real world. The outlining I had experienced before...that was nothing new, however what was to come was quite a new (bad) experience.
T + 00:50 (9:00pm)
I now had no concept of time, however I periodically (I think) started looking at the clock at this point because this is where the trip went to hell. I had the most insane body rush at this time, I felt as though gravity did not exist and my body was swirling around in open space. To describe it better, imagine yourself being placed in a barrel, and rolled down a steep hill. Now imagine that feeling never stopping. The amazing array of colors I was experiencing was downright frightening. I was seeing colors I had never seen before, colors I cannot describe with words...my world almost seemed like a cartoon that someone had spilled paint all over and tossed into a blender. I decided I needed to lie down, and maybe I could get my trip going in the right direction because at that moment I was really starting to get scared.
T + 01:00 (9:10pm)
I had lied down, only to realize my trip had no return. I was in for a terrible ride and I now realized this. As I lie there on the bed I tried to close my eyes, hopefully being able to sleep. Not possible, at all. Once I closed my eyes I was ingulfed in a vortex of color, I actually saw MORE light when I closed my eyes than when they were open. I still tried to force myself to sleep..keeping my eyes closed. As I tried this..the colors just became more intense...and I was now in what appeared to be some sort of teleportation black hole, if that makes sense. I was traveling in the cylindrical tube with colors and shapes flying past me at an extremely fast rate. I opened my eyes at one moment to gasp for air, I had been holding my breath for what seemed like 10 minutes, but looking at the clock it was probably about 30seconds-1minute. At that point I was extremely frightened, I thought I was done for. I, am athiest. I do not believe in god but at that point I decided that it couldn't hurt to say a prayer or two. If I remember correctly, I said something along these lines: 'God, if you exist, I am sorry for everything in life I have done. I am sorry I screwed up so bad tonight and if you could just get me through this, I will be in your debt forever. Please tell my girlfriend I love her more than anything, and that I hope to see her in heaven, if it really exists'. That may not quite be a verbatim dialog of what I said, but it is atleast close. At the end of my prayer, I remember starting to cry (I haven't cried since my grandmother passed away, about 5 years ago). I honestly 100% thought I was going to die.
T + 01:20 (9:30pm)
Well I skipped over some of the trip because I could probably write a book if I tried to describe all of it. Anyhow I chose this point to talk about because my visuals started getting MORE intense. I started trying to force myself to sleep at this time, hoping this trip would somehow be dulled or turned off if I was able to pass out. I physically felt EXTREMELY tired as though I could easily sleep, yet I couldn't because when I closed my eyes WIERD things happened. Now whenever I closed my eyes, I had 'finished' going through the 'black hole' and had arrived at some sort of city. It was very strange, all the buildings appeared to be outlined in color, there were no solid objects in this world, just pure color. As I visited this city it dynamically changed as I looked around. Buildings would pop up and what appeared to be vehicles of some sort would fly past me leaving a stream of light and color behind, almost like fireworks. I opened my eyes only to see strange interlacing lines of color covering my whole field of vision. These lines of color would morph into, well this is hard to explain but...think of a huge sheet of paper rolled up and floating above you, yet this sheet of paper is made of 'pixels' and is not solid. This 'paper' would unroll itself in front of me, and then roll back up, again and again...this frightened me as I thought the 'paper' was going to crush me. I remember putting my arms up to 'stop' the paper from rolling on top of me. After I 'stopped' the paper, it would then start morphing into other objects, each frightening in their own way. At this point I think I might have blacked out because the next time I remember looking at the clock it was 10:15pm. Then again its very possible that I just don't remember what happened during that time. I am remembering more and more of the trip as I try to type this out.
T + 02:05 (10:15pm)
Closing my eyes at this point was still sending me into the 'city', however now there were these beings there that had the outline (remember, no solidity in this world, just outlines of color and light) of very beautiful women. I know that sounds wierd but they honestly looked like the outline my girlfriends body now that I think about it. I guess maybe she was there to comfort me somehow? I'm not sure but somehow these beings presence made me feel a bit better (maybe this is where the trip started to mellow out). I was not able to talk to them, I was not in control of my trip at all. I was just on for the ride. Wish I could have tried to speak to them. These 'beings' would become outlined in one color, and then other colors would 'travel' the outline of the previous color, creating a new outline. Most times these new colors would change the position of the being...I could see them 'turning around' as the colors outlined. Very erotic in their appearance, they were 'naked' it seemed. I stopped trying to force sleep at this point as I realized it was impossible. I opened my eyes and tried watching tv, but I couldn't understand anything on tv so I turned it off again. After that point I just lied there, in bed, praying for my trip to end. I still thought death was comming, the body high was still extremely intense. My cat came and lied down next to me at this point, I think she could tell something was wrong. She began to meow and I started to pet her, crying, telling her I loved her too and that she would have a still good home with my girlfriend after I was gone. I kept petting her and she began to purr, this really eased my mind a good bit. It calmed me down, relaxed me. I just hugged and pet her for a good hour at this point, thinking about my life and the people I know, hoping that I might still make it through this terrible ordeal. Again...I prayed to god, and wished the best for my loved ones (several times).
T + 03:05 (11:15pm)
The trip finally started to end. I went downstairs (I live in a 2 story loft by myself), drank some water, got in the shower and let the hot water just run down my body...it was very soothing and I was finally starting to truly feel tired. I went to bed, still seeing some visuals (nothing near what I was seeing before), and passed out after about 30 minutes of promising myself I'd not trip again for a long, long time (if ever). It was probably about 12:15am or so that I finally was able to sleep.
Well looking back at it today it was a very interesting and frightening experience for me. In someways I guess the trip was enjoyable, but only in retrospect. The thought of inevitable death is the worst feeling. It's a feeling of helplessness, I knew no one could help me and I either would ride it out, or die. I am glad nothing truly serious happened to me, I am just happy I am here this morning to tell you all about it. I now have a new respect for psychedelics such as mushrooms. I am not sure if I will ever use them again, possibly, but right now I am just too frightened to even think about it. I still have about 2 g's left over which I am donating to a friend of mine, I don't want them. He told me I should have called him last night, he could have walked me through this traumatic experience. I wish I had called him, and if I ever get into this type of situation again you can bet thats going to be the first thing I do.
I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience, I enjoyed writting it, I even got a little teary eyed at certain points when typing this out.
Please, be safe everyone.
z of Hash Plant (strain) bud. Well I excitedly ran home and prepared myself for my trip. And now...the details:T + 00:00 (8:10pm)
3 g's of mushroom chewed and swallowed with a glass of milk (milk seems to help my stomach avoid nausea).
T + 00:20 (8:30pm)
I then took 3-4 hits from a mini-bong I had borrowed from a friend and then realized something could be going wrong...I was comming up at such an insane rate my body physically hurt. I felt pain from the come-up. It was a sort of aching feeling in my chest and legs. I stood up and fell back into my chair, I could no longer walk. No visuals yet, however.
T + 00:40 (8:50pm)
At this point I could tell my trip was turning bad, I had come up so intensly that I started to get scared (I remember saying 'SHIT...this is it' out loud). From that point, things spiralled into the most intense, terrible, insane, and crazy trip I had ever experienced. The visuals began at this point, starting with an 'outline' of everything in the room, it was as if someone had traced over the lines in a picture but I was seeing this in the real world. The outlining I had experienced before...that was nothing new, however what was to come was quite a new (bad) experience.
T + 00:50 (9:00pm)
I now had no concept of time, however I periodically (I think) started looking at the clock at this point because this is where the trip went to hell. I had the most insane body rush at this time, I felt as though gravity did not exist and my body was swirling around in open space. To describe it better, imagine yourself being placed in a barrel, and rolled down a steep hill. Now imagine that feeling never stopping. The amazing array of colors I was experiencing was downright frightening. I was seeing colors I had never seen before, colors I cannot describe with words...my world almost seemed like a cartoon that someone had spilled paint all over and tossed into a blender. I decided I needed to lie down, and maybe I could get my trip going in the right direction because at that moment I was really starting to get scared.
T + 01:00 (9:10pm)
I had lied down, only to realize my trip had no return. I was in for a terrible ride and I now realized this. As I lie there on the bed I tried to close my eyes, hopefully being able to sleep. Not possible, at all. Once I closed my eyes I was ingulfed in a vortex of color, I actually saw MORE light when I closed my eyes than when they were open. I still tried to force myself to sleep..keeping my eyes closed. As I tried this..the colors just became more intense...and I was now in what appeared to be some sort of teleportation black hole, if that makes sense. I was traveling in the cylindrical tube with colors and shapes flying past me at an extremely fast rate. I opened my eyes at one moment to gasp for air, I had been holding my breath for what seemed like 10 minutes, but looking at the clock it was probably about 30seconds-1minute. At that point I was extremely frightened, I thought I was done for. I, am athiest. I do not believe in god but at that point I decided that it couldn't hurt to say a prayer or two. If I remember correctly, I said something along these lines: 'God, if you exist, I am sorry for everything in life I have done. I am sorry I screwed up so bad tonight and if you could just get me through this, I will be in your debt forever. Please tell my girlfriend I love her more than anything, and that I hope to see her in heaven, if it really exists'. That may not quite be a verbatim dialog of what I said, but it is atleast close. At the end of my prayer, I remember starting to cry (I haven't cried since my grandmother passed away, about 5 years ago). I honestly 100% thought I was going to die.
T + 01:20 (9:30pm)
Well I skipped over some of the trip because I could probably write a book if I tried to describe all of it. Anyhow I chose this point to talk about because my visuals started getting MORE intense. I started trying to force myself to sleep at this time, hoping this trip would somehow be dulled or turned off if I was able to pass out. I physically felt EXTREMELY tired as though I could easily sleep, yet I couldn't because when I closed my eyes WIERD things happened. Now whenever I closed my eyes, I had 'finished' going through the 'black hole' and had arrived at some sort of city. It was very strange, all the buildings appeared to be outlined in color, there were no solid objects in this world, just pure color. As I visited this city it dynamically changed as I looked around. Buildings would pop up and what appeared to be vehicles of some sort would fly past me leaving a stream of light and color behind, almost like fireworks. I opened my eyes only to see strange interlacing lines of color covering my whole field of vision. These lines of color would morph into, well this is hard to explain but...think of a huge sheet of paper rolled up and floating above you, yet this sheet of paper is made of 'pixels' and is not solid. This 'paper' would unroll itself in front of me, and then roll back up, again and again...this frightened me as I thought the 'paper' was going to crush me. I remember putting my arms up to 'stop' the paper from rolling on top of me. After I 'stopped' the paper, it would then start morphing into other objects, each frightening in their own way. At this point I think I might have blacked out because the next time I remember looking at the clock it was 10:15pm. Then again its very possible that I just don't remember what happened during that time. I am remembering more and more of the trip as I try to type this out.
T + 02:05 (10:15pm)
Closing my eyes at this point was still sending me into the 'city', however now there were these beings there that had the outline (remember, no solidity in this world, just outlines of color and light) of very beautiful women. I know that sounds wierd but they honestly looked like the outline my girlfriends body now that I think about it. I guess maybe she was there to comfort me somehow? I'm not sure but somehow these beings presence made me feel a bit better (maybe this is where the trip started to mellow out). I was not able to talk to them, I was not in control of my trip at all. I was just on for the ride. Wish I could have tried to speak to them. These 'beings' would become outlined in one color, and then other colors would 'travel' the outline of the previous color, creating a new outline. Most times these new colors would change the position of the being...I could see them 'turning around' as the colors outlined. Very erotic in their appearance, they were 'naked' it seemed. I stopped trying to force sleep at this point as I realized it was impossible. I opened my eyes and tried watching tv, but I couldn't understand anything on tv so I turned it off again. After that point I just lied there, in bed, praying for my trip to end. I still thought death was comming, the body high was still extremely intense. My cat came and lied down next to me at this point, I think she could tell something was wrong. She began to meow and I started to pet her, crying, telling her I loved her too and that she would have a still good home with my girlfriend after I was gone. I kept petting her and she began to purr, this really eased my mind a good bit. It calmed me down, relaxed me. I just hugged and pet her for a good hour at this point, thinking about my life and the people I know, hoping that I might still make it through this terrible ordeal. Again...I prayed to god, and wished the best for my loved ones (several times).
T + 03:05 (11:15pm)
The trip finally started to end. I went downstairs (I live in a 2 story loft by myself), drank some water, got in the shower and let the hot water just run down my body...it was very soothing and I was finally starting to truly feel tired. I went to bed, still seeing some visuals (nothing near what I was seeing before), and passed out after about 30 minutes of promising myself I'd not trip again for a long, long time (if ever). It was probably about 12:15am or so that I finally was able to sleep.
Well looking back at it today it was a very interesting and frightening experience for me. In someways I guess the trip was enjoyable, but only in retrospect. The thought of inevitable death is the worst feeling. It's a feeling of helplessness, I knew no one could help me and I either would ride it out, or die. I am glad nothing truly serious happened to me, I am just happy I am here this morning to tell you all about it. I now have a new respect for psychedelics such as mushrooms. I am not sure if I will ever use them again, possibly, but right now I am just too frightened to even think about it. I still have about 2 g's left over which I am donating to a friend of mine, I don't want them. He told me I should have called him last night, he could have walked me through this traumatic experience. I wish I had called him, and if I ever get into this type of situation again you can bet thats going to be the first thing I do.
I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience, I enjoyed writting it, I even got a little teary eyed at certain points when typing this out.
Please, be safe everyone.
