It was a monday night, 1 week ago, and I wanted to explore this supposedly shroom-like chemical. It would be my 4th time. The other times, I have had experiences ranging from subtle to strong. One trip, I hid in my car at an outdoor festival because it was just way too overwhelming.
I take 16mg. I expect it to be mildly strong. It ended up being stronger...
I pop the pill at 10pm. I put on some trance music, turn on blacklight/lava lamp/sound laser. I felt first anxious alerts at 10:30. They grew quite strong even to a mental degree at 10:45 (usually mental effects take a while longer than body effects for me). I was slightly nervous about how quickly it was developing. I was seeing intense, moving growing patterns on the carpet. The lava lamp created visual distortions in the area around it due to its flowingness.
I lay down and try to relax. Then, at 11pm, I am definately nervous. I've tripped lots of times but it starts penetrating my mind deep. I experience some depersonalization and feel the presence of an entity that I usually feel on stronger trips. This entity is another conscious part of my brain I believe. It has a negative character but I don't usually fear it. I contemplate popping a valium or 2 but I hold back.
I live very close to a fire whistle. When it goes off, it is very loud. Suddenly it sounded, and the sound vibrated through my brain. Then suddenly, I felt the room become warmer, and hot. This scared the hell out of me but I convinced myself I am tripping hard and its unlikely the building is on fire.
Then I fall into a neurotic trip. I occasionally make some small buisiness deals and I was terrified about what I do. I pointed to it and thought it was where I get my problems such as anxiety. I made irrational notes to myself; I found causes for problems that didn't exist, and found irrational causes. One was that I like to read bad news (such as about the war and self-defense shootings) because "big things to cover up takes big distractions" is what I wrote to myself. This probably isn't true. I find myself fairly anxiety free these days, at least consciously.
I realize that I am damaging myself and my self esteem with the kratom binge I've been on for 3 weeks. I vow to quit asap. I could feel my tripping brain reject the kratom which I had taken hours earlier.
I eat a pizza and devour it like an animal, while tripping hard (I usually don't get very hungry). I can't control my impulse to tear it apart and eat it hard. I laugh at some stuff online and the laughter is almost seizure-like. Then, my teeth feel like they are rotting. I am afraid to go to my shared bathroom out in the hall in fear of my hallmate coming out to see me (we aren't really friends). I vow to start brushing my teeth 3x a day, instead of neglecting them like I have been. Soon, it becomes unbearable so I rush in and brush my teeth like a madman. Blood flows down my gums, they were bleeding fairly heavily. My eyes had almost no color. It was a scary sight, even for haloween night.
I smoke some weed and have a pretty nice time the rest of the trip. I suffered some from stomach problems, but I believed my suffering, mental and physical, would make me a better person once the trip was over.
I fall asleep around 6am and wake up feeling fairly normal. I experience some hints of depression the next 2 days but this wasn't nearly as bad as mdxx.
I think this trip was a wakeup call for some things, like quitting kratom, brushing my teeth, soon get out of the buisiness i'm in, etc. I don't regret it at all. Next time I will try to be more stress-free and have more positive things going on in my life. It is quite a tool.
I take 16mg. I expect it to be mildly strong. It ended up being stronger...
I pop the pill at 10pm. I put on some trance music, turn on blacklight/lava lamp/sound laser. I felt first anxious alerts at 10:30. They grew quite strong even to a mental degree at 10:45 (usually mental effects take a while longer than body effects for me). I was slightly nervous about how quickly it was developing. I was seeing intense, moving growing patterns on the carpet. The lava lamp created visual distortions in the area around it due to its flowingness.
I lay down and try to relax. Then, at 11pm, I am definately nervous. I've tripped lots of times but it starts penetrating my mind deep. I experience some depersonalization and feel the presence of an entity that I usually feel on stronger trips. This entity is another conscious part of my brain I believe. It has a negative character but I don't usually fear it. I contemplate popping a valium or 2 but I hold back.
I live very close to a fire whistle. When it goes off, it is very loud. Suddenly it sounded, and the sound vibrated through my brain. Then suddenly, I felt the room become warmer, and hot. This scared the hell out of me but I convinced myself I am tripping hard and its unlikely the building is on fire.
Then I fall into a neurotic trip. I occasionally make some small buisiness deals and I was terrified about what I do. I pointed to it and thought it was where I get my problems such as anxiety. I made irrational notes to myself; I found causes for problems that didn't exist, and found irrational causes. One was that I like to read bad news (such as about the war and self-defense shootings) because "big things to cover up takes big distractions" is what I wrote to myself. This probably isn't true. I find myself fairly anxiety free these days, at least consciously.
I realize that I am damaging myself and my self esteem with the kratom binge I've been on for 3 weeks. I vow to quit asap. I could feel my tripping brain reject the kratom which I had taken hours earlier.
I eat a pizza and devour it like an animal, while tripping hard (I usually don't get very hungry). I can't control my impulse to tear it apart and eat it hard. I laugh at some stuff online and the laughter is almost seizure-like. Then, my teeth feel like they are rotting. I am afraid to go to my shared bathroom out in the hall in fear of my hallmate coming out to see me (we aren't really friends). I vow to start brushing my teeth 3x a day, instead of neglecting them like I have been. Soon, it becomes unbearable so I rush in and brush my teeth like a madman. Blood flows down my gums, they were bleeding fairly heavily. My eyes had almost no color. It was a scary sight, even for haloween night.
I smoke some weed and have a pretty nice time the rest of the trip. I suffered some from stomach problems, but I believed my suffering, mental and physical, would make me a better person once the trip was over.
I fall asleep around 6am and wake up feeling fairly normal. I experience some hints of depression the next 2 days but this wasn't nearly as bad as mdxx.
I think this trip was a wakeup call for some things, like quitting kratom, brushing my teeth, soon get out of the buisiness i'm in, etc. I don't regret it at all. Next time I will try to be more stress-free and have more positive things going on in my life. It is quite a tool.
