Theskyisthelimit
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2016
- Messages
- 3
Hello all, from NJ here (unfortunately). Im in recovery, having relapsed a few times in the past four months, always due to PAWS and boredom/anxiety. I've been on and off opiates steadily for atleast seven years, beginning with the blues and the occasional elusive oc80. But I was even chewing up hydro's and percs by the handful since I was about 14. But didn't get dependant until I threw my back out and my cousin/coworker had just what could get me through to keep working. And when those ran dry, we were off to Camden for tickets. But H was not my doc until a couple years later, even then it took about another two years to reach iv use. I peaked out around Jan of 14, at over a brick (50 bags, good quality)/ day, and after a couple months of busy work, big checks, and heavy use, I randomly got laid off and went through agony. That was the first time I even thought about obtaining anything besides through honest income. Also the last time I ever let myself get like that. I still have a tolerance that would kill a sober person, but I no longer get sick, and even the last few times I did, I just toughed it out. Anyway, enough history, I'm on the way back up now and will only spend some of this year's tax return on a little KRATOM and the rest on rebuilding my life. First time in years I haven't been dying to get my hands on cash. Mostly, I just want someone to hang with on a regular basis, to go hiking, fishing, shoot skeet, or, hell, even just talk. Oh, yeah, and my girl of six yrs left, probably triggering that relapse into a crazy habit. And I haven't lived without a girl since I was 16, before that I always had a partner in crime, so its been lonely the past couple years, making it hard to abstain from my "true love" but recently, a couple friends are finally, really, clean, I remembered my old self during a short time in county, put on a healthy 30 lbs since the heavy habit days (after county pushups and three months of hard work, its hardly any extra fat). And no one believes I'm clean until they see me. I know KRATOM isnt clean, but a cup of tea a day is going to have to do for the time. It gives me no high, no itchies, my pupils don't constrict, and it takes away anxiety and cravings. Just like an 1/8th of a suboxone, without the headache, side effects, or withdrawal. I'm gonna end this rant for now, but I am absolutely not saying anything above to gain anything, just being real and some background info. I do know quite a bit for a noob though, and I'm a kind, chill dude, so I'm open to questions or whatever. Namaste.
