people have always said you need a year or so because youre just looking for your next fix, right? well, maybe.
as usual I've been clean for 4-5 months and even week 3 of that I picked up a younger girl and we fooled around for a month but nothing serious. well, now I am closer to month 5 and I think I found a girl that I am going to actually end up being "with". I wonder, tho, if its too soon!?
Its funny cuz I told this girl my life/full story of drug use, my past, and what I've seen/done and she seems to be chill w/ it. her brother is also an ex-addict so she can relate she says. she's also on a lot of medication herself but for other reasons, but some of the same of mine, such as: anti depressants, .25 xanny, some stuff for problem she has (nothing too erious) and then a sleeping pill (cant believe I forgot the name). this chick also smokes weed w/ me and will have a drink or two. so, although she not a true addict, she surly does have that after life/medication life that most of us carry after. the other night we smoke and I said I might take a .5 xanny to just chill and she was like "woah, why would you do that? xannny w/ weed. I never did that. chill". I kinda liked hearing that from her because now I know she's never been THAT bad and even talked me out of taking the xanny while smoking.
anyway, shes completely covered in tattoos like me; she's also has an obsession to a certain band much like I do. I am all about Alice in Chains, and she seems to know them well.. so thats a big PLUS. also, I love The Beatles and she was belting out Beatle songs on the car ride home the other night; so thats a big PLUS too, right?
she seems a little clingy tho at times and talks about being together forever. but at the same time she tells me she has no intention of marriage, kids or anything like that. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT AND SAY. another reason why I think her and I see to be pretty on point.
few problems:
1. she lives 40 mins away - it's not too far but its a hassle. I live right outside of Boston and she lives from the city. we both met at the tattoo shop and I facebooked her and picked her up, ha.
2. she wants to chill like 4-5 times a week; I am cool w/ 2-3 times.
3. she still like to go out w/ friends to different parties/bars; thats so not me, esp. at this state of sobriety; although, I still will have an alcoholic drink because beer was never a prob; I can only drink 1 or 2 anyway (yes, a drug is a drug is a drug, chill).
4. as originally said, I am only 4-5 months sober. am I ready for this? I am just in the process of saving money again, getting the new apartment, living a new life, etc. do I need her to be part of it?
so, what do you guys think? I do like the fact that shes from a place/area I know nothing about, so therefore I know nothing about her past and she knows nothing about mine except from what we tell one another, which I hope is the complete truth, cuz mine has been thus far.
as usual I've been clean for 4-5 months and even week 3 of that I picked up a younger girl and we fooled around for a month but nothing serious. well, now I am closer to month 5 and I think I found a girl that I am going to actually end up being "with". I wonder, tho, if its too soon!?
Its funny cuz I told this girl my life/full story of drug use, my past, and what I've seen/done and she seems to be chill w/ it. her brother is also an ex-addict so she can relate she says. she's also on a lot of medication herself but for other reasons, but some of the same of mine, such as: anti depressants, .25 xanny, some stuff for problem she has (nothing too erious) and then a sleeping pill (cant believe I forgot the name). this chick also smokes weed w/ me and will have a drink or two. so, although she not a true addict, she surly does have that after life/medication life that most of us carry after. the other night we smoke and I said I might take a .5 xanny to just chill and she was like "woah, why would you do that? xannny w/ weed. I never did that. chill". I kinda liked hearing that from her because now I know she's never been THAT bad and even talked me out of taking the xanny while smoking.
anyway, shes completely covered in tattoos like me; she's also has an obsession to a certain band much like I do. I am all about Alice in Chains, and she seems to know them well.. so thats a big PLUS. also, I love The Beatles and she was belting out Beatle songs on the car ride home the other night; so thats a big PLUS too, right?
she seems a little clingy tho at times and talks about being together forever. but at the same time she tells me she has no intention of marriage, kids or anything like that. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT AND SAY. another reason why I think her and I see to be pretty on point.
few problems:
1. she lives 40 mins away - it's not too far but its a hassle. I live right outside of Boston and she lives from the city. we both met at the tattoo shop and I facebooked her and picked her up, ha.
2. she wants to chill like 4-5 times a week; I am cool w/ 2-3 times.
3. she still like to go out w/ friends to different parties/bars; thats so not me, esp. at this state of sobriety; although, I still will have an alcoholic drink because beer was never a prob; I can only drink 1 or 2 anyway (yes, a drug is a drug is a drug, chill).
4. as originally said, I am only 4-5 months sober. am I ready for this? I am just in the process of saving money again, getting the new apartment, living a new life, etc. do I need her to be part of it?
so, what do you guys think? I do like the fact that shes from a place/area I know nothing about, so therefore I know nothing about her past and she knows nothing about mine except from what we tell one another, which I hope is the complete truth, cuz mine has been thus far.
