should the first time be special?

[Hypnotik1]

The first time you peed in the potty instead of in your Pampers, do you think that was "special?"

Or would it be more accurate to say that it was simply a necessary step in order to LEARN how to get good at something you're going to be doing regularly for the rest of your life?

Twenty years from now, you'll think about the first time you had sex approximately as often as you'll think about the first time you peed in the toilet.

I promise.

Yea i agree....although I do agree it should be someone you're comfortable with emotionally and phsyically....

The girl i lost my virginity wasnt even a GF.....it was just a reg friend....it was VERY awkward...in the physical sense but we had alot of fun laughing and figuring everything out....lol

But again i agree w/ LL this whole 'virginity' thing is wayyy overrated!!

 

[seafoodcannibal]

i find that the longer you wait in this day and age you seem far more distant and abnormal, which leads to insecurity and fear of sex.

i waited til i was 25 and alot of my friends have waited until their mid twenties and none of us are abnormal and we all love sex

i say wait atleast til you're with someone you care about, or wait til a time when you can look back on it and say you really had a good time. I was high on pot and had a 1 night stand for my big virginity give away and i regret that! lol it was really stupid

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I'm a big believer in the idea that things will happen when they should, not when you want them to happen, and that if you psychoanalyze things or worry about them or try to make them happen way too soon they won't.

Sometimes I've gotten sex when I've least expected it and I wasn't even planning on it or anything like that.

You know yourself better than any of us do.

If you want to have sex with someone while you're in a relationship, date some men or women and have sex when you're in a committed relationship with a caring partner.

If you just want to have sex with the next hot person that comes along and get it over with do that because you want to.

If you want to have sex with that person you’re friends with who you wrote about, have sex with them.

If you want to wait until you’re a certain age, do this since you want to.

Our society has some fucked up views on gender and sexuality and you should do what’s right for you and because it's what YOU want to do.

There's nothing wrong with doing any of these things or you could do a combination of the two like how some people will date someone and decide not to have sex with them and then after they break up/stop seeing each other they’ll have lustful sex with the first hot person that comes along who wants sex, or they’ll go out and have a drunken 1 night stand.

Your first time will probably be awkward, you might be REALLY nervous, and it may even be funny in some ways.

I do happen to believe that people do hype up the FIRST TIME way too much and this is how people get very disappointed by it.

I lost both of my virginities (to a woman and a man at separate times, I'm bisexual) to people who were strangers and I don't regret it since it's what I wanted to do.

I will admit that I do look back with fondness to the first time I had sex with a guy since he was kind, caring, understanding, had empathy for me, and didn't go crazy on me and stalk me or say that we were "in love" when it was just casual sex.

The first time I had sex with a woman I did enjoy it and it was pleasurable but I knew that I wanted to try sex with a guy too like I had wanted.

You’re 18 so you’re still young. You’re not that old to be a virgin.

I’ve had friends who lost their virginity at 14 and some who lost it at 25 and most of the people I know who waited until they were adults at 18 were thankful since they didn’t do something like get a horrible STD, or get someone pregnant.

As for me the first time I had sex with a woman I was 19 and I met her because she went to my friend’s university and was visiting him that summer and I just sort of wound up having sex with her and my friend and some random guy watched me. I don’t care about this.

I am however glad though that I only masturbated her, used a rider’s crop on her (we visited a sex toy store that day with my friend) and gave her oral sex as sex instead of fucking her without a condom like she wanted me to do. I could be a dad and taking care of a kid now instead of writing this post.

She wound up having sex with my friend who watched us have sex later that same night and I really don’t care about it but I did get annoyed at how she wound up lying about dangerous sex she’d had with other people when she hadn’t done that at all. I also didn’t like her stalking me and saying how we were going out, or how I was her boyfriend or how we were "in love" when we’d just agreed mutually beforehand that whatever we did or didn’t do that it would be it and we’d just go our separate ways. I look back in amusement at all of this now; but at the time I got annoyed at how immature she was and how she lied about things and clearly had issues. She wasn't a virgin but I dunno what her problem was.

The first time I had sex with a guy, I was 22 and I'd moved away from home. I picked him up when we were both drunk (I joke that this is the night I discovered my bi-dar since he is bisexual too) from a mixed crowd gay bar and we had oral sex and jacked off each other in his car and it was one of the most fun, pleasurable, intense, powerful, and comic moments ever! It was funny because, well I somehow KNEW I’d be having sex with a guy that night and I did bring condoms with me and at the time I never carried them at all.

I’d always wanted to lose my virginity to a guy in a random hook up and have sex in public and that’s EXACTLY what we did! I did keep my wits about me though and even though I was drunk I wasn’t so drunk that I was forced into doing anything that I didn’t want to do and we’d talked about how if either of us did something or wanted to do something that the other person didn’t want saying no sorry I don’t want to do that or I don’t like what you’re doing was fine. When he wanted to get us a hotel room I said well you can get one for yourself if you don’t want to drive home (as he’d been drinking) but I don’t want to have sex there. I even used a condom since I lived in an area where there was a big syphilis outbreak.

I gave him a kiss back at the bar, thanked him, and I wanted to kiss him in public but we didn’t do that.

Looking back I'm glad that things turned out this way since at the time I was closeted and I probably would have either had sex with a guy in a public bathroom, in a park, or in an adult bookstore as these things sometimes happen when you're young and you grew up in an area where everyone's closeted.

I still talk to him to this day and he was supposed to be a hook up but we became friends.

 

[girlfromoz]

heres a couple of things to remember/consider:

your first time will hurt
you will be horrible in bed for quite awhile (will most likely lie there trying not to scream)
you will be nervous
it will be bizarre
it wont live up to expectations

that all said i think western cultures are both obsessed with sex, and extremely conservative about sex. virginity means jackshit. having sex for the first time when your 40 means jackshit. do what you want, when you want, with whoever you want (preferrably with their consent) and for your own reasons.

if you feel like it is essential for you to wait for something 'special' then do so, and best of luck trying to find it! however, if it really does mean nothing to you then just get rid of it with someone you feel comfortable with, the first few months of sex are best to be over and done with in my opinion.

best of luck with whatever you chose to do, either way its not the end of the world; its just sex.

 

[QuestionEverything]

The first time you peed in the potty instead of in your Pampers, do you think that was "special?"

Or would it be more accurate to say that it was simply a necessary step in order to LEARN how to get good at something you're going to be doing regularly for the rest of your life?

Twenty years from now, you'll think about the first time you had sex approximately as often as you'll think about the first time you peed in the toilet.

I promise.

I couldn't disagree with you more. At my age, and being married, I still very clearly remember losing my virginity and the person that I lost it to.

Sure, it doesn't really have much of an effect on my sex life now, but to say that it will be something that you never look back on and equate it to being toilet trained? No way.

 

[beamers]

If you gave it up to some jock that didn't give a fuck, at least save your virgin ass for the boyfriend that gives a fuck. That's right, you girls can techincally be a virgin twice and the second time is oh so sweet.

 

[Tootsie]

My first time was nothing special at all. It was with a friend I knew for a long time and then after we did it, we never talked again. I wish I would've waited to do it with someone special my first time.

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

Let's just say you loose your virginity a week from now.
Ten years later, chances are the person you lost your virginity to you might not mean shit anyway.

I always thought it would be with the right one and etc... and years later i learned maybe it was the right one for the moment, but so much shit changes over the years, and you could grow to hate the fucking person so much.
And then it looses it's meaning anyway.

Just make sure you're comfortable with who you choose. They might not turn out to be your knight in shining armor down the road, but as long as they treated you with the right kind of respect that you are looking for, then there will be no regrets in the end.

 

[Midnighteyez]

I lost my virginity when I was 14 (I know, really young) to somebody who I never saw again. I've regretted it ever since it happened. I wish I could have given my virginity to my current boyfriend, but now I can't. It's all up to you, hun. I can only help you from my own experience. Just know that there will be someone down the road that you will love to death, and you'll wish that you would have been able to give it to him. I hope ya make the right decision. I'd do anything to have mine back.

 

[Tootsie]

I lost my virginity when I was 14 (I know, really young) to somebody who I never saw again. I've regretted it ever since it happened. I wish I could have given my virginity to my current boyfriend, but now I can't.

Exactly the same place I'm at.

After I had done it I thought it was cool, I lost my virginity, sweet. But now, a couple years later, I've found someone I truly care about and I wish so bad I would've just waited. He feels that way too.

 

[bonobo]

for me losing my virginity wasn't my choice. so i try not to remember it or think back on it.

How did you manage to lose your virginity without having a choice? Were you raped?

 

[bonobo]

I recon the first times never gonna be mindblowing. But it's good if it's with someone you can feel comfortable and trust to let them know that you are a virgin.

 

[privatecaller]

im not even going to speak about my first time or i'll start crying :D

wait for someone special,no matter how long it takes i say.