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Should I talk to my mom about my addiction? Help

ykm420

ykm420

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 29, 2010
Messages
3,469
Location
Where the drugs are
I'm 19, have been addicted to pain killers for 3 years, past 2 being ridiculously heavy.. I spend ALL my money on opiates, I haven't not taken them in at least 2 years straight, and I've gotten to the point where I'm feeling I need to go on methadone, which my pops offered to pay half with me. Most days I feel like I should be dead, and would be better off than having to deal with this shit.. I know if I talk to her about it, I'm going to break down in tears, and feel like the worst pos ever.. What should I do here?
 
How does it seem pretty clear? I'm embarrassed of myself.. Not like I want my business out there, nor do I want my mother to know her son is a fuckin' junkie, man..
 
Don't want to kill myself, but, there are so many times I should have died, and for some reason, I'm still standing.. If I was dead, it would be easier to deal with than this.
 
you gotto tell you mum man. bite the bullet. shell accept you for what you are im sure and at least she knows you want to get better.
 
letting your mom know you want help to heal yourself, there is nothing at all wrong with this... there will be some hurt, but nothing compared to more years of what is..?

its sounds clear that, you should do/challenge what you are fearing atm, what reasons should you not?<
have you listed the pros and cons for yourself, personally?
 
Like I said, man.. I'm just embarrassed of myself. For me to just walk up to my mom, start crying (I know I will), and admit to being a junkie is going to be shameful..
Pros: Madre knows, and hopefully supports me.
Cons: I look like an asshole, she loses trust, and doesn't care what I do anymore.
 
no, no shame, that takes fucking courage....
-
and, the pros&cons of your use continuing.

someone made a very prolific quote , pertaining to -true courage.
a long time ago, enveloping food for thought...

[[message from thee temple]]

^take it- how ever you will.
... its proves further to me, that how by embracing yourself, you envelope further-outwardly.

go into it, understand and accept, and remove that from yourself.


who better then your mother to help you..?
there is no shame in honesty.
 
Thanks for the advice, guys. I fessed up, and broke down. After some yelling, and her telling me to hand over my debit card and bank account information, she told me how proud she was of me for doing this, and that it took courage.. They're paying for me to go to methadone, and for that I'm forever grateful. She did, however, ask me who I was doing drugs with, and who I was getting them from, which pissed me off, cause I would never rat on my friends, but, she meant well, I suppose. Time to try living opiate free, wish me luck.
 
ykm420 said:
Thanks for the advice, guys. I fessed up, and broke down. After some yelling, and her telling me to hand over my debit card and bank account information, she told me how proud she was of me for doing this, and that it took courage.. They're paying for me to go to methadone, and for that I'm forever grateful. She did, however, ask me who I was doing drugs with, and who I was getting them from, which pissed me off, cause I would never rat on my friends, but, she meant well, I suppose. Time to try living opiate free, wish me luck.
Click to expand...

oh wow.

this is a beautiful thing,,,
none of its going to be easy, at first - the only guarantee with this shit- is that it will end.

you chose your battle, you chose to confront this fear, and its maybe the greatest that youll face with this.
-a great leap of faith, in self.


besides idle time...

dont forget either of the emotions you went through, and are going through now, or the results of your actions...
they are sometimes quickly forgotten;
your mind can try to divert your soul, from the value of yourself.


-i know i dont want or need drugs to be high, but my mind will sometimes think it does-

<3<3
=D
 
ykm420 said:
Thanks for the advice, guys. I fessed up, and broke down. After some yelling, and her telling me to hand over my debit card and bank account information, she told me how proud she was of me for doing this, and that it took courage.. They're paying for me to go to methadone, and for that I'm forever grateful. She did, however, ask me who I was doing drugs with, and who I was getting them from, which pissed me off, cause I would never rat on my friends, but, she meant well, I suppose. Time to try living opiate free, wish me luck.
Click to expand...

This is so great to hear and you should be really proud of yourself man. It takes a lot of courage to 'fess up to our loved ones about problems with addiction. It sounds like you're definitely on the right track now. Best of luck, and keep us updated with your progress <3
 
Good job man. There is nothing to be embarrassed of, it happens to the best of people. You did the brave and honorable thing. Keep it up!

tumblr_l26du7YJXv1qzzcjio1_500.jpg
 
nice man :) telling in the end always makes it better imo. when you get to the point where it all just seems impossible, letting someone who can help you know lifts an amazing weight off your shoulders.

the first time i got caught, but it still made it a little better. i knew i had to quit at some point.

but the second time, i told them i wanted to go to rehab. my family was really proud of me, and did everything they could to get me out of my hometown. including letting me go to rehab with my boyfriend, letting me move out of state permanently, and still paying for college, as long as i stay clean and functioning.

so in the end, admitting you have a problem is better then trying to solve it with your drug fulled brain.
 
ykm420 said:
Like I said, man.. I'm just embarrassed of myself. For me to just walk up to my mom, start crying (I know I will), and admit to being a junkie is going to be shameful..
Pros: Madre knows, and hopefully supports me.
Cons: I look like an asshole, she loses trust, and doesn't care what I do anymore.
Click to expand...

I doubt she is going to "not care what you do anymore".

She would lose trust with you if you stole from her, or sold something of hers to buy smack.

If this was the case she probably already knows...

If you didn't, you have nothing to be afraid of. You are probably just wondering if someone is going to help you rationalize away not telling your mother about this, and I don't really see anyone ready and/or willing to do that.

It is really not that big of a deal. My parents knew I was using heroin. It made them get a little bit enlightened about some stuff in life, like how smoking weed isn't a big deal compared to a heroin addiction and all.

ykm420 said:
Thanks for the advice, guys. I fessed up, and broke down. After some yelling, and her telling me to hand over my debit card and bank account information, she told me how proud she was of me for doing this, and that it took courage.. They're paying for me to go to methadone, and for that I'm forever grateful. She did, however, ask me who I was doing drugs with, and who I was getting them from, which pissed me off, cause I would never rat on my friends, but, she meant well, I suppose. Time to try living opiate free, wish me luck.
Click to expand...

She probably just wants to know who to "safeguard" you from in case someone comes around and they're like "can ykm420 come out and play?" she'll be like "NO!!!".

I couldn't really imagine why else she would care or bother wondering who it was.
 
if you have a loving mother count your blessings and tell her, she could help you.

my mother is a careless bitch and i turned out really fucked up.
 
I'm glad you told your mother and posted about the process! I'm at step 1 now: we are delaying an upcoming move to allow me time to switch from mdone. to Suboxone. My mother, with whom I have a close relationship, cannot understand the delay & lying to her feels terrible. Also, my husband is not supportive of cont'd maintenance & having an ally would be a great help. I know my parents will eagerly support me as I work towards recovery; telling them that I've kept my use a secret since 1989 will be very painful for all of us.
When I told my brother about mdone. & Suboxone, he said, "I'm here to help you. I love you & I'll help you in any way that I can." His support means so much to me, even a casual, "You doin' all right?" reminds me that someone knows and cares.
How is your relationship with your mother now?
 
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