So I guess im depressed since 9 years its not a strong depression its more mild, but it got worse 3 years ago and in march when lockdown came it got even more worse. im 27 years now and time flies and I hadnt a relationship or good sex although im good looking but i have issues with self esteem thats why im going to gym reguarly, anyway.
and i have issues with motivation and lil bit with sleep and energy overall. motivation is the main thing and loss if interest, all i have is gym and blabla i lost interest in my study.
im very lazy, lockdown killed all the rest of my motivation.
whateveeer i started taking 5htp it helped me lil bit but to realizie things like the ones which i write down here. i guess now the effect its gone, at least the euphoria.
so i went to my doc and wanted antiderpessant she described me escitalopram, i took one tab with 10mg and i felt really really depressed, empty, i felt like i wanted to end this feeling and had lil bit self harm thouhts so i stopped.
I guess thats how people feel when they are in deep state of depression.
i know it takes maybe 3 weeks until it kicks in but im really really afraid of it.
i just want a normal life, like a normal job, friend and relationship.
its like i can have all these things easily but i dont have any motivation and energy to get this, the problem is i literally laying around the past few years and dont care about anything. i have short time periods in which im motivated, than i get thinsg done and then the motivation is gone.
especially i broke up with all my friends now im kinda allone, i guess thats the main thing of depression u become egoistic and dont care about other people.
its not like mimimimimi im so sad i have no friends no the thing is i dont care about that but thats the problem i want to care about other people, i dont wanna be so self centered.
Now i have this package full of antidepressants in my shelter and im really afraid of the side effects.
dont know what to do but i wanna do something.
and i have issues with motivation and lil bit with sleep and energy overall. motivation is the main thing and loss if interest, all i have is gym and blabla i lost interest in my study.
im very lazy, lockdown killed all the rest of my motivation.
whateveeer i started taking 5htp it helped me lil bit but to realizie things like the ones which i write down here. i guess now the effect its gone, at least the euphoria.
so i went to my doc and wanted antiderpessant she described me escitalopram, i took one tab with 10mg and i felt really really depressed, empty, i felt like i wanted to end this feeling and had lil bit self harm thouhts so i stopped.
I guess thats how people feel when they are in deep state of depression.
i know it takes maybe 3 weeks until it kicks in but im really really afraid of it.
i just want a normal life, like a normal job, friend and relationship.
its like i can have all these things easily but i dont have any motivation and energy to get this, the problem is i literally laying around the past few years and dont care about anything. i have short time periods in which im motivated, than i get thinsg done and then the motivation is gone.
especially i broke up with all my friends now im kinda allone, i guess thats the main thing of depression u become egoistic and dont care about other people.
its not like mimimimimi im so sad i have no friends no the thing is i dont care about that but thats the problem i want to care about other people, i dont wanna be so self centered.
Now i have this package full of antidepressants in my shelter and im really afraid of the side effects.
dont know what to do but i wanna do something.