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Should I send the letter?

A

ArtVandalay

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 3, 2008
Messages
713
I wrote a letter to my ex girlfriend and can't decide if I should send it. It's been a year since she left me. In it, I own up to my drug addiction and acknowledge the harm it had on her and our relationship. She never knew the extent of my use, what I used, etc. I had a psychotic break near the end due to opiate WD + kratom + MDPV. (Was she was cheating...or was it all in my head??).

We were together for 6 years- lived together, had 2 dogs, a good life. I lost it all. I truly loved her. She hasn't spoken to me since, except for an e-mail (which was nice). My motivations are unclear. I feel ashamed and want to redeem myself, I feel bad for holding her back and being selfish, I miss her and would like to see her, all that. But I'm afraid of a negative response or no response at all. I'm not delusional either, I know she's moved on, probably in a relationship. What do you all think?
 
I would send that letter- it could at least give you some closure. But how can you be sure that your relationship's failure can be traced solely to your drug use? Like you indicate- 'was I just being paranoid from all the drugs??' Given that you say you were fucked up enough to make the relationship fail, can it also be said that you can't really be sure if you were in a good relationship in the first place?
 
I agree. It would benefit you more than anyone else. A release of pent up emotions and thoughts. Sharing and communicating always relieves the burden.
If you don't go through with it you're just gonna go through life wondering "what if?"
-What if she NEEDS the truth from you for her own personal development??
-What if she also has unresolved feelings and needs that first step from you to help??
-What if this is your chance to close that painful chapter??

I believe this can only be a step in the right direction.
May good conscience be with you, friend <3
 
I think you should send it :)
I recently fucked-up my family relationship cause of drug's and being addicted BUT people who like/love/loved you are usually forgiving

And the poster above made good points too :)
If the response is negative or it doesnt appear, its hard to move on but think about it like this: you had to send the letter cause of yourself
 
She wrote back said, 'that was great to hear. thanks.' Short, but positive. I'm really glad I sent it. I'm no longer obsessing on it.
 
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