Should I make my friends pay??

[xxkcxx]

Glad everything worked out for you!

One thing I am confused about though--how did you get the $900 price? Did your mom tell you that first or did you just search online to find it and found it going for that price?

Also, $80 cost to $900 retail??? Damn, I've worked in retail a lot and I've never seen a mark up that high...

 

[QuestionEverything]

I believe that stores are legally responsible to have insurance for these matters and while I don't feel like searching right now, we had a whole discussion in a legal studies class about how it is technically not the "breakers" responsibility to "buy it" because of that insurance. Also, if you offered to buy it out of the goodness of your heart, you should ask what their cost is instead of paying the retail price.

But no, legally it is NOT an enforceable concept by law.

Once again:

I don't necessarily disagree with you here, and I feel it is somewhat irrelevant to the thread, so I'm just going to move on . . .

OP, I'm glad your friends made the gesture and showed they're decent human beings willing to take responsibility for their own actions. At least they are grown enough to realize they're responsible for their actions, drunk or not.

In the same situation and knowing more details now, I would definitely not ask for/accept the $900, but take what was given and be glad you have the friends you do.

 

[Fjones]

I have a LOT of "stuff", collectibles, and small knick-knacks. I also used to have a lot of parties at my place with a lot of drunk people.

I did not keep any true valuables out in the open. I would aassume that anything my friends broke, they wuold offer to pay what then could afford to help out, and I would pay the rest.

 

[xxkcxx]

QuestionEverything: if you really wanted to move on then I don't understand why you would bring it up a third time by quoting my response?

You brought up this "you break it, you buy it" concept that many people believe is enforceable when it is, in fact, not, and I thought it would be important, in the spirit of giving accurate information, to comment that it isn't. Perhaps it isn't directly relevant to this thread, but when someone brings something up that is inaccurate, don't you think it is a good idea to let the others know the truth?

 

[LoveAlways]

I have a LOT of "stuff", collectibles, and small knick-knacks. I also used to have a lot of parties at my place with a lot of drunk people.

I did not keep any true valuables out in the open. I would aassume that anything my friends broke, they wuold offer to pay what then could afford to help out, and I would pay the rest.

I agree, I mean its better to be safe than sorry anyway right??

 

[QuestionEverything]

QuestionEverything: if you really wanted to move on then I don't understand why you would bring it up a third time by quoting my response?

You brought up this "you break it, you buy it" concept that many people believe is enforceable when it is, in fact, not, and I thought it would be important, in the spirit of giving accurate information, to comment that it isn't. Perhaps it isn't directly relevant to this thread, but when someone brings something up that is inaccurate, don't you think it is a good idea to let the others know the truth?

Um, I simply responded by quoting what I already said because you directly quoted me in your comment (though I was not the only or first person to bring up the concept). I thought perhaps you missed when I said I was not disagreeing with the legality of it all. I'm actually glad to know it's not a legal practice. Talk about a mountain from a molehill . . .

 

[toa$t]

having not read this thread at all, making them pay would be a MAJORYL weak move. if you have the cash to have $900 antique vases lying around, you probably have the cash to afford it when they break.

 

[alasdairm]

i'm honestly surprised by some of the wording of these opinions. "making" your friends pay? if they're friends, you shouldn't have to make them pay.

if i was at a friend's house, drunk and i broke something valuable, the idea of telling a friend "i'm not paying, dude, it's your fault for letting me in here in the first place" is absolutely alien to me. what kind of friend is that? a pretty shitty friend in my book.

alasdair

 

[Coolio]

I couldn't disagree with the above more. Never once have I had a party or invited friends over to drink and expected any of them to become reckless and wild.

What does "post Mardi Gras" party indicate to you about the behavior and intent of the drunken revelers? I imagine they've spent all day degrading women or flashing their tits, yelling rude things at strangers, etc. and now they're refusing to let the vibe dissipate until the next day.

 

[QuestionEverything]

Post Mardi Gras, post bar, after hours, post birthday party, post coital . . .

I really don't see it making a difference. Why do you think adults should not be held accountable for their actions because they are drinking? Where do you draw the line? I mean, they're not respnsible if they break something in the host's home but they are if they drive or harm another person? I genuinely don't get the rationale behind that. Why does being drunk excuse one from taking responsibility for their actions?

 

[moonyham]

I dont know how anyone can argue that it isnt the party throwers fault(mostly).

I mean seriously, when any of my mates have partys, they lock up anything breakable/valuable in one of the bedrooms. Its pretty basic stuff.. i mean we are 18 and we know this and your 27? I hope you learned a lesson from this, because its hardly your friends fault for being drunk and bumping into a shelf.. i mean thats EXPECTED and its your OWN STUPID FAULT THAT IT BROKE.

 

[vibr8tor]

:D i've never been so glad to actually *not* be friends with some people here than i am now! so coolio and moonyham, have you actually broken stuff at other peoples places and told them it's their fault? or is this just hypothetical?

 

[moonyham]

:D i've never been so glad to actually *not* be friends with some people here than i am now! so coolio and moonyham, have you actually broken stuff at other peoples places and told them it's their fault? or is this just hypothetical?

Umm yeah i think i have, nothing that i can remember but i dought i havnt.

point is, if theres a party, and the host leaves a fucking 900$ breakable object ontop of something where the DRUNK, HIGH people are, then what the FUCK do you expect?

I wouldnt say 'its your fault' because they are my friend, i would however not pay if they asked me too, or i would only pay like 50$ or something because tbh i class it as STUPID TAX(the loss of an expensive item) for being such a twit and leaving expensive, fragile objects around drunk people.


I did say its the hosts fault(mostly)... i mean its not COMPLETELY there fault, but it was avoidable, unlike being drunk and clumsy. I mean its not like you(host) are drunk and high BEFORE the party, so you are thinking rationally.. you know like 'hmmm, i wonder if i should move some of these expensive fragile antiques out of the room for tonights party?' where as the drunk people are NOT thinking and they are also clumsy and fall over.


so yeah

 

[Coolio]

:D i've never been so glad to actually *not* be friends with some people here than i am now! so coolio and moonyham, have you actually broken stuff at other peoples places and told them it's their fault? or is this just hypothetical?

I tend to stay away from ethanol for this reason. I'm much more often a party host or drunk group babysitter than a drunken guest.

I've never been asked to pay for any damages or clean up any messes after an event even though I have broken a thing or two and made a mess or two in my day.

 

[drugfukkdrockstar]

I definitely think the friends did the decent thing by giving Four $70 towards it.... You do have good friends Four!! And I agree with the statement that we're talking about adults here, not young children.

I am glad it all worked out for you Four as far as your friends and getting paid went, and i hope things are cool with your mum .. she sounds pretty upset over it.

 

[up all night]

Post Mardi Gras, post bar, after hours, post birthday party, post coital . . .

I really don't see it making a difference. Why do you think adults should not be held accountable for their actions because they are drinking? Where do you draw the line? I mean, they're not respnsible if they break something in the host's home but they are if they drive or harm another person? I genuinely don't get the rationale behind that. Why does being drunk excuse one from taking responsibility for their actions?

Drink driving is completely unrelated to this discussion. The main point is that these people ACCIDENTALLY broke the vase. To me, whether they were drunk or not is totally beside the point. The only reason alchohol comes into the argument is because the OP should've realised that if you have wasted people in your home there is a higher chance something will get broken. Understanding that, and perhaps moving any valuable items out of the loungeroom, isn't treating the friends like children, it's just what anyone with half a brain would do.

four: Considering your Mum only paid $80 for the piece, how could you possibly even think about accepting more than this? In my mind you would effectively be making money off your friends and that's horrible. I appreciate its market value may be $900 but your actual loss isn't $900.

As for the 'you break it you buy it' rule that people keep bringing up, it doesn't really relate here. The OP's house isn't a shop. If you accidentally break something in a shop, the shop owner will try and make you pay, but if you accidentally break something in a bar (say a chair) the bar owner is not going to demand payment. He/she realises that owning a bar means that occasionally things will get broken. That situation is more closely related to the OP's issue that the shop scenario.

Anyway, I've been at plenty of parties where things have been broken and not once has someone been told to pay for it. This thread has made me appreciate my friends even more!

 

[Fjones]

Drink driving is completely unrelated to this discussion. The main point is that these people ACCIDENTALLY broke the vase. To me, whether they were drunk or not is totally beside the point. The only reason alchohol comes into the argument is because the OP should've realised that if you have wasted people in your home there is a higher chance something will get broken. Understanding that, and perhaps moving any valuable items out of the loungeroom, isn't treating the friends like children, it's just what anyone with half a brain would do.

four: Considering your Mum only paid $80 for the piece, how could you possibly even think about accepting more than this? In my mind you would effectively be making money off your friends and that's horrible. I appreciate its market value may be $900 but your actual loss isn't $900.

As for the 'you break it you buy it' rule that people keep bringing up, it doesn't really relate here. The OP's house isn't a shop. If you accidentally break something in a shop, the shop owner will try and make you pay, but if you accidentally break something in a bar (say a chair) the bar owner is not going to demand payment. He/she realises that owning a bar means that occasionally things will get broken. That situation is more closely related to the OP's issue that the shop scenario.

Anyway, I've been at plenty of parties where things have been broken and not once has someone been told to pay for it. This thread has made me appreciate my friends even more!

I pay $50 for a baseball card. It rises in value to $5000.00 (it could be SOLD for this amount to any card dealer). A friend carelessly extinguishes a cigarette on it while looking at it.

You think it is wrong to ask the friend to pay more than $50?

(Obviously he should have the card insured. This is a hypothetical scenario).

 

[leila762]

I would like to apologise for posting snide comments early on in this thread.
My only mitigating factor would be that on joining Bluelight, i stuck very much to the Lounge & wrongly thought it set the tone for all forums here.

 

[moonyham]

I pay $50 for a baseball card. It rises in value to $5000.00 (it could be SOLD for this amount to any card dealer). A friend carelessly extinguishes a cigarette on it while looking at it.

You think it is wrong to ask the friend to pay more than $50?

(Obviously he should have the card insured. This is a hypothetical scenario).

Serves you right for leaving a card worth 5000$ out lieing around to be used as a cigarette extinguisher.

This answer ive given you is completely relatible to what happened to four. You just SHOULD NOT LEAVE VALUABLE ITEMS AROUND LIKE THAT(most definitely at partys). Especially if you want them intact.

 

[up all night]

I pay $50 for a baseball card. It rises in value to $5000.00 (it could be SOLD for this amount to any card dealer). A friend carelessly extinguishes a cigarette on it while looking at it.

You think it is wrong to ask the friend to pay more than $50?

(Obviously he should have the card insured. This is a hypothetical scenario).

Yeah, I definitely think so. Your possessions are your responsibility, especially items that are worth a lot of money. If you had such a valuable card, why wasn't it in a protective cover? Why were you handing it to your friend to look at while they were holding a cigarette? The owner should always be taking every step necessary to ensure things like this don't happen.

What about if the friend had absolutely no money? What if even paying you $50 was a big deal for them? Would you still feel comfortable asking them for the market value of the card?