• LAVA Moderator: streaM Freak

Should I just stick with this guy or change

cobaltblue

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 7, 2013
Messages
4
Hello. I go see a massage therapist once a week at a small office within a gym. I had major surgeries last year and this year so he's just been helping me with my back. Please don't get me wrong. I do not have any romantic feelings for the guy.

It's been a year since I've seen him once a week and he was just a friendly guy from the start asking all sorts of personal questions and he'd tell me about his weekend, entire family, etc. and he'd always be the one to initiate any convo. I just follow along and we eventually became Facebook friends but have never corresponded on there privately.

Four times I see him at the store right outside the gym and he totally ignores me and runs away if he sees me so I brought it to his attention the next time I saw him (a few weeks ago). He says that he may have been wearing earphones (which he wasn't) and that he has other clients that are his friends, too. The first 3 times he ignored me, I just figured that he just didn't want to deal with clients on his personal time and I understood so I didn't really mind it, but the fourth time, he ran like a bullet at the sight of me, so that's when I thought maybe I'm causing problems for him or something.

Since then, I stopped responding to his personal questions (I just ignore them) unless they are health-related but he still continues to ask questions. I think he does it for business but his questions are sometimes too personal.

Ever since I brought it to his attention that he ignores me outside but is extremely friendly with me during sessions, he started showing me how friendly he is with his other clients that are before and after me and shows me at the front desk that he's very friendly with them.

I'm thinking that perhaps he misunderstood what I meant when I first spoke with him. It's so awkward now. I'm a bit sad that this is going on and have been searching online for a different place to go but this place is near my house and is so convenient. I don't hate this guy at all but I'm not sure why he's doing all that he is. He could just be normal with me and not ask me personal questions anymore....I did delete him from my Facebook and he asked to be re-added on my Facebook but I haven't done it yet. He says he has other clients that are his friends on there as well. He's been extra nice during my sessions otherwise since the incident and I've been trying to be nice, too, but I just don't like it anymore being asked personal questions so as rude as it may seem, I do ignore them.








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were you offended that he didn't want to talk to you outside of a business situation?

if you want your sessions to be less awkward you could just go along with his personal questions... people rarely take an interest in my life so i am always pleased to answer people's questions about me, there is no effort involved in answering a question

if going along with the questions hurts your ego or the awkwardness continues it could be a good idea to find a new masseuse, i can only see the situation worsening if you keep ignoring questions he asks you.
 
Thanks for your comment.

I guess I just can't comprehend why he'd be so friendly during sessions and in that small office but outside, he just doesn't acknowledge my existence. I just don't get it. If his behavior was very professional during sessions, then, I can somewhat see where the ignoring would come from when we are outside, but I just can't relate to why he does that.

And yes, I was very offended when he ignored me, especially the very last time he saw me and ran. One time, I even ran into him at the front desk of the gym (literally in front of me) and he completely looked downward when he saw me when I tried saying hi. I shouldn't expect a therapist to say hi to me outside the sessions, but I just couldn't figure it out. I mean, all the friendliness and him sharing his personal life and everything....and me beinga regular client there.....you'd think a simple "hi" wouldn't hurt to say.
 
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