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Should I get married? Why bother?

Here's a write up of The Hen and mine's wedding. Done by someone we had only ever met on the net, on the other BB we use.
I'm Stroppygob/Taff
The Hen is The Hen
Sniker is our American guest.
The Hatchling is the Hen's 7yr old daughter.
Ok Strop, I shall endeavor to give you my honest impression of my time in your part of the world as well as the wedding...
My arrival at Penzance was a wet and dark one...was supposed to call Taff for a ride but could not figure out how the phone number worked... so I got a taxi instead...I had a reservation at the White Sands Lodge so I got in the cab and asked to be taken there...the cabbie was a wonderful start to my visit...he said "young lady I don't think you are from around here", which led to a discussion of my origin and how I came to arrive at Penzance. He thought me a bit daft I think..coming so far for a wedding, and a wedding of veritable strangers at that...
My arrival at the Lodge is a blurry one in my mind..I was pooped and taken by surprise. Taff grabbed me and hugged me...and I recall Hen yelling "snicker" and running over to hug me too. Introductions were made to a few folks there including Mother Hen and the lovely little Hatchling, who said she had never met an American before...(sorry Hen for any lasting emotional trauma this encounter may lead to...:P) I was relieved of my luggage by the lodge owner...and sat down in the bar to get something to eat. I ate and visited...it was clear that Hen was very nervous, and so was Taff. Taff was to go off to a pub down the road for a bit of drinking.and invited me to join the group whn I got done eating.
I did join the crowd at a pub that was a few hundred or so years old...and a merry group they were...and soon a very drunken group...I watched Taff drink beer then switch gears to whisky or scotch..not sure which...and the group got merrier..I was an odd one out..I don't drink alcohol due to having a very bad stomach, and was looked at, I think, as a bit of an oddity, I mean aside from being American..and an obviously daft American at that. Word soon spread around that I had come a distance of about 4000 miles to see the wedding of 2 people I had met on the internet only...I sensed a general amazement all through my visit. "ohhh you are that American who has come from the states just for this wedding...(long appraising look I got used to followed by a broad grin) Brilliant..simply brilliant!! how amazing.." this was an oft repeated conversation, and one of which I never tired."
I sorted my way through accents and a million names meeting
Taff's Mother, who was very difficult for me to understand, it is the welsh accent which I found the most difficult to deal with, there was one man there who I think I never understood a single word he spoke the3 entire time. Taff's Mother I was finally able to get for conversation.
My energy flagged, and I decided I needed to return to the lodge for the night. When I returned The Hen Clan were all in bed.
Next morning I went down and ordered a breakfast. I decided one should eat an English breakfast since it was offered, except that they eat odd things for breakfast...well odd from my limited perspective, baked beans for breakfast is just too foreign a concept. No can do. But I had a delicious porridge and eggs, bacon, sausage and toast with a nice pot of tea. All very delicious.
The wedding was to be at 1pm in Penzance at the registrar's office. I was offered a ride from some of Taff's friends, a couple flown in from Ireland, very wonderful people, world class. So when the time came I caught a ride with them and off we went to the place where the long anticipated event was to take place.
Arriving there..we met Taff outside, looking a bit nervous but not the green color I'd have expected after the prior night's revelry. He was sporting a suit, and looked..well afraid...like anyone looks before they are about to take a big step. Inside, many of us found seats in the registrar's room. It was a small room and so we were tightly packed. There were a few tense moments when it appeared that The Hen might have flown the coup...an Taff, it was explained, is a bit deaf so between that and nerves I am still not sure who he married. I don't think however that he has any doubts. As to the Hen, was there ever a doubt that she would prove to be a beautiful bride? She was absolutely radiate and beautiful...she is a very petite and fit woman, and had on a beautiful ensemble of her own design as we have read about. While Taff seemed nervous to the point of falling over in a heap, Hen was all confidence, and except for the fact that she missed her entrance a bit...and gave us a tense dramatic moment...soon the ceremony was over and we were on our way out and back to the lodge..where what seemed to be an endless party began.
The reception began almost immediately and went on till late*. The food was great, the people exceptionally nice. I met so many and have so many memories of how much fun the people were. I talked to many, often being asked, in a rather cautious and careful manner, how September 11 changed America. I tried to explain how I saw it as best I could. After it was discussed, some offered a toast..to no more terrorists...a wonderful token of understanding and compassion.
I left the next day...without getting to say goodbye properly as I had to get back to London to get ready for my flight out. But fair warning Taff, when I got home and told hubby how much I wanted to go back..he suggested a summer trip with him joining me. You may have not seen the last of this daft American...
* And most of the next day for those of us who had taken a little something. :)
Click to expand...
 
While marriage scares the hell out of me right now, I think that one day i will get married. Not as a way of justifying myself the world. You dont need to be married to be committed.
For me, marriage means commitment + kids. And I think for me personally, marriage is an extra lock to hold a family unit together. Sure you can get divorced, but its a whole lot easier to jsut end a relationship, and I feel its an additional hold over the relationship.
This in no way is meant to attack unmarried parents. This is jsut my own personal feelings for myslef.
 
dim_mak.......
You goose. That's not what I said.
I said "I only have eyes for you"
 
and with love and marriage comes little baby bluelighters :D
 
I really don't know about it, I mean is it really worth it in the end when you can happily live with someone as a defacto couple and have everything except for the papers and the rings. Hell even in this day and age you can have kids out of wedlock. ;)
Call me cynical, call me blasphemous, call me whatever you want. It's not that I'm against marriage cause really I'm not, and to tell you the truth I'm *kinda* into the whole fairytale thing of getting dressed up, walking down the chapel or wherever I get married, putting the rings on, the kiss at the end, then yeah the whole reception thingy and of course the honeymoon. ;) However seeing as though I know a hell of a lot of people including my parents, family friends and friends parents who have gotten divorced, infact I could say that I only know a handful of people who have gotten married and stayed married.
Now seeing as though I've grown up and listened to many sad or horrible stories about people that I'd known that have gotten divorced, it's kinda made me a bit sour about the whole thing, and now I really don't know about marriage, maybe or maybe not??????
 
nezo:
If I had seen this thread before I saw you I would have said it was ghey...
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
gheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheygheyghey
Considering everyone else in this thread is getting all mushy
*waves to bunny*
"yoo hoo sexy"
*ducks claws from KiTTy* ;) ;)
 
Its waaaaaaaaay too much to pay for a peice of paper declaring that so-loves-so and is therefore in love in the eyes of god/the state/the world/whoevergivesadamn....
still, i wouldnt say no if i met and fell in love with a wonderful architect/rocket scientist with a penchant for lsd, a motorbike and turntables...
You've just got to be picky where a lifetime or whatever is remaining thereof is concerened ;)
To those who are married... I hope you have rich and wonderful lives together
To those getting married... Congratulations :) that is extremely cool and a beautiful thing to do.
To those who are in love and arent getting married... Congratulations :) that is also an extremely cool and a beautiful thing not to do.
my $0.02
Andromeda :)
 
Oh what a wonderful thread!
Good on you nezo for bringing this up.Marriage is a very beautiful and sacred twinkly cuddly PLUR nice thing.
I was in fact dreaming last night about weddings.It was so nice.Oh how I love them.
You have all my support nezo.
That book I was showing you has a whole chapter devoted to the importance of the family unit, calling it a vehicle for higher travel.
Marriage is a blueprint that enables all sorts of bliss to occur.
Some of my tips;
PLUR
Find the right person.
Try to follow the 10Commandments.
COMITTMENT, to the mariage, family and to work at/for it.(Putting in effort here reaps boundless rewards for you and your dear descendants)
Enjoy.
Heaven will flow through you extra if you do it right, and that's such a nice feeling.
Just imagine a whole lot of pure smily raver families producing a whole lot more pure smily raver families. Sound just like what the world needs right now extra.
Kids are natural born ravers with natural born rave functions, especially top dance moves that are invented on the spot.
You can take your kids to Earthcore , Rainbow Serpent and other all ages raves.
Peace, Love and Ecstacy and all the other happy kandy raver songs you can think of.
Oceanboy
YOU ARE PLUR.
 
I am surprised that there has been no more replies to this thread of late, I know you wonderful people have more soul to express.
plur EEternal
 
Well I am getting married on the 15th of June. Flying to Vanuatu on the 10th and returning on the 17th!!
Oh and we find out the babies sex on the 31st May!!!
 
Ok, my initial reaction is HELL NO!!! I think marriage is a spin off of a failing religion anyway. Why do two people need a piece of paper to say that they love each other, that should be known anyway. Also, I don't know what I'll be doing next week, let alone how I'll feel in 2, 5 or 10 years, so I wouldn't make that kind of commitment on the basis that I can't promise I'll se it through.
But maybe that's because I've never REALLY (thought I have been) in love. So we'll wait if I change my tune........
 
A friend of mine once said 'people wouldn't get married if it weren't for weddings'. I mean the presents are cool, the party is great if you plan it right, the photos are nice...
But the family/friends politics, the stress, 6 months of planning the bloody things, not to mention the overwhelming cost... it's enough to put anyone off!
If it really means something to you to commit to your partner, run off and elope I say ;) . Some friends of mine recently sent me a card saying 'by the time you read this, we'll be on a beach in Fiji, having just been married...' etc. Then they held a huge party for their friends when they came back. Cost less than $5000 in total, as was just as romantic.
It shouldn't be about the celebrations necessarily. It should be about declaring your love to the world. Whether it's the right thing for you... well... depends on the relationship you have :) . I think it's a nice sentiment that if taken the right way, can strengthen bonds and intimacy between two ppl beyond anything else. So many ppl get scared off by tradition and 'politics'.
 
still looking for the right guy but..half my friends are my age and married already and some of them are already divorced.... and have kids...
 
I relate sydkiwi, all my bloody friends are getting married. I've been to 8 weddings in the last 18 months. They're starting to bore me... no wonder I'm all for deconstruction of the traditional marriage!
However, kids scare me... It bugs me when so many guys I've known think that getting married=having kids (and this is what scares them off). I don't wanna get preggers! Ever!
 
in a way marriage has become irrelevant, at least for the reasons people used to do it.for example, most of my family (aunts & uncles etc) got married on the basis of one thing-pregnancy. to make the female an 'honest woman'- fuck i hate that phrase! now a lot of these relatives are actually divorced now, with a lot of pain and mooney involved. now in society today, its okay to be pregnant and unmarried, instead of having the child taken away from you or being ostracised from society. therefore a lot of people who would otherwise gotten married to each other out of some stupid sense of obligation (to each other, the parents are ALWAYS obligated to the child), havent. now i also know two young(er) people who did, in this advanced day & age, get married for pregnancy, and looking at their relationship (a long string of fights & ugly breakups) i think now these are two people who were probably better off not getting married.
anyway gotta toddle off 2 work now, more later
 
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