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Should I get married? Why bother?

hmmm..miss apples, are you saying that we should get married so that everyone knows we are serious about each other? Getting married for reasons other than your own?! Hmm...not sure about that.
I love you too DQ
*sigh*
note: DQ and I are not getting married. We aren't even going out! So relax *princess_fifi*
 
well I kinda meant you'd be doing it for her. as well as everyone else. but that's doing it for another person as well.
ah fuck it. I'm outta here right now. I have never been in a conversation about marriage that has ended in a good way. For this very reason.
If you want to do it, you'll do it. Everyone has different reasons for and against it and none of them are right or wrong. You do what is right for you.
 
If you want to do it, you'll do it. Everyone has different reasons for and against it and none of them are right or wrong. You do what is right for you
spoken like a true fence-sitter ;) but it's difficult to disagree!
DQ.
Click to expand...
 
wait wait miss apples! I'm not trying to stir up a fight! I'm just taking people's opinons on board and thinking them through! Don't go! What kind of bluelighter would i be if I posted a thread asking for people's opinions and then not respecting them!
I do know that my girlfriend takes marriages very seriously and does want to get married.
 
as if I'd go :) hehe
as for the doing it for other people...that's not really what I meant. Why did people originally get married? To join together in the eyes of God. For him to bless their union. And to enable children to be born in a committed loving union with the blessing of the church and God.
Now if you take religion and children and the legalities out of that...it's kind of the same. But you're asking for your friends and family to recognise and 'bless' your union with your partner. You're still asking for something/someone that means a lot to you to bless what you have with your partner...it's just not God anymore.
You're still doing it for yourself. But everyone else plays a pretty important part. Why else would you invite everyone along?
Then of course you can go into the whole eloping thing. If it's not about your friends etc then why elope? My guess is that those people just want to make it 'official'. Saying your vows out loud in the presence of another person and having it recorded legally certainly takes your commitment to another level. And I guess that goes back to almost 'proving' to your partner that you are prepared to act on what you have verbally agreed on.
Then of course...there's just your girlfriend really wanting to get married. Isn't that a good reason too? If you love her that much and can't see the difference between getting married and not getting married...why not just do it and make her the happiest girl in the world?? You've already said you've already made the commitment so what's the difference whether you do or dont?
ok I've said enough now :) other people will have substantially different ideas to me I can guarantee it.
 
so what's the difference whether you do or dont?
About $30,000 ? Engagement ring, reception, church (maybe) and honeymoon. Of course, it doesn't have to be expensive, but somehow, I think my gf will want it done 'properly'.
But then again, what price is love?
Click to expand...
 
didn't think of that bit nezo :)
yeah it's all romantic and stuff but you're right...it still costs money.
OK now I can see why people elope ;)
 
mmm getting married is probably the biggest step in most peoples lives, and not everyone can go though with it since it dose involve heaps and heaps of commitment.
The idea of getting married to someone is probably one of my goals in life-"to find the perfect person" and to be in-love... I think is the most amazing thing that could happen to you, and when it dose happen you feel like the luckiest person in the world. To spend every waking moment with your one true love is like being in heaven or a dream or something, its undescirbeable.
Its funny cause I was thinking about this the other day when my soul mate said "If your not married by the time your 30 Im going to marry you"
Yes...I can be korny sometimes but i don't give a f**k
[ 04 April 2002: Message edited by: BUNKUM_BUNNY ]
 
*steps in to add another expert-married-person's type reply*
Although living defacto is almost the same thing, actually being married is way cooler. For a start, although you gain some family on the one hand (who in my case are well funky), you are also branching off to make your own family unit. And that is truly amazing - when your're annoyed with the family you can think "fuck you, I've got my own family now!" ;)
It's hard to describe how cool it actually is - the fact that you know you are going to be together til death do you part (assuming of course it's a happy marriage). Mr. babydoc and I were defacto for 4 years before we got married, and you would think getting married wouldn't change things, but it does. I wish I could explain it better.
Mr babydoc didn't see the need to get married, and I was far keener on it than him. It seems many guys are like this. But if you asked him about it now, he'd say something very positive, gushy, romantic and possibly quite nauseating.
BT: them meals are frustratingly irregular. And girls, play your cards right and you get not one but TWO nice rings out of it. You've got to be happy about that.
 
bunkum...on a side note...can you really say that meeting the right person can be a goal in your life? I've often thought the same thing but can you make a goal in your life which is based soley on chance..and soley on other people? You can't go out actuvely looking for the right person cause everyone says you end up meeting them when you least expect it, or when you're not looking. So how can you make it a goal?
Just some random musings :)
and babydoc...that's so cool :) a lot of us single people see marriage and meeting the right person as such a big thing...it's so good to hear that it's a positive thing. and not a scary thing like so many people think.
[ 04 April 2002: Message edited by: miss apple ]
 
miss apple I know what you mean and I agree with you that you cain't go looking for the love of your life because they do come up with you least expect it...but I guess what I was trying to say (refering to my goal) is not to die a lonely old lady!!!
There is someone for everyone and you know who that person is when you eventurly meet them!
 
P.S: the right person will indeed pop up when you least expect it, or may turn out to have been under your nose right along! And while it's nice to think a "perfect" person will come along, it's far more likely to be a great person, who has lots of postive attributes, plus some negative ones that you choose to accept because the good ones are SO good. Marriage really is about compromise - you learn that you also have some bad habits and once you can learn the art of compromise, things go smoothly.
Chances are the right person will also have some positive attributes that compliment your negative ones, and vice-versa. And the right person will also be your best friend.
Re: the big wedding, the biggest mistake people make is to throw their energy into the wedding, rather than the marriage. People get obsessed with things like flowers and table cloths, when really, none of that matters. My attitude to the wedding day was "it will all be fine" and it was.
 
"Why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free" - Mallrats
Seriously though, marriage has to be the most expensive institution invented. Screw the jewellery, screw the ceremony, screw the honeymoon and shit. Save money, exchange vows (if you must) on a clifftop or a beach somewhere at sunset or some shit, then take a holiday. Put the money you would have spent into something like a deposit on a house or something worthwhile.
In the end, it's all the same, you live, then you die. And at the end, I don't think it really matters that much.
-plaz out-
 
you don't need to get married to "prove" your love to someone else. if you love someone enough it shouldn't take that to show each other how much you care.
but its also the strongest way you can show the world just how commited you are to one another and to show that you are now one unit.
i think that views on marriage are very personal ones and noone can say if it is right or wrong or how long you should be together before its long enough.
the two of you will know if its right and if you want to. and if you share different views then maybe you aren't perfect for each other.
and it is true your soul mate does pop up when you least expect it, but once you find them and know that this IS the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you'll know if marriage is right for the two of you.
* waves to BFB *
 
Pleo dude, are you familiar with a literary character named Mersault? your attitude towards matters of this nature are disturbingly similar... ;)
Nezo: should you get married, im sure it will be for the right reason. i guess you have to ask yourself, would you do justice to your partner? are you satisfied youve lived all you want of the single life? are you ready tto move on the next stage of your life?
i wouldnt say im in a position to hand down advice (ive just turned 20). personally however, i believe that you'll know when its time to get married; when it feels right.
good luck.
Timmy
PS-if i was you id be making use of that new pad, if ya smell what im cooking ;)
 
;)
*waves back*
Well.... things are on the horizon eh?
One does not want to give away too much.... but this thread means a lot more than u guys think.
;)
 
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v5eyj8 :) :) :)
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aaaaaahhhhhhh
whoops. Nocturnal_chick just read the post before and raped me on the computer desk :)
[Edit: Just fixing up the layout... Don't forget I wanna be in the bridal party! ;) -Tars]
[ 04 April 2002: Message edited by: Tarsarlan ]
 
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