Should I get back on benzo's?

[Zapgunn]

So I'm a recovering meth and heroin addict. Ive been clean for about 5 months. I used to be prescribed clonazepam, and I'm not going to lie, i would abuse them from time to time (you kind of have to when your on meth) and I had a minor withdrawal when i got off of them about a year and a half ago.

Sobriety has been super tough for me this time around. All the meth really knocked some screws loose in my brain. My life has gotten better since i cleaned up, but i have crippling anxiety that seems to get in the way of EVERYTHING. ITs hard for me to attend support groups bc i get super uncomfortable around large groups of people (this never used to be the case), I have trouble at work, I can't really seem to date, no social life, blah blah blah. You get the point.

Benzos really work for me. a month ago a doc gave me a prescription for 5 clonazepam and they took away most of the anxiety and I FELT LIKE MY OLD SELF AGAIN. It was great. The thing is, I know how bad benzos are for long term use, and I don't like the idea of ever having to go through any sort of withdrawal again. But if they improve the quality of my life, maybe I should just say fuck it and do it? Right now things aren't going so hot...

Anyone have any experience with stuff like this? Am I totally fucked off rn?

 

[w0w0mg]

I would not suggest getting back on a benzo.
I think it would end up doing more harm than good in the long run.
Have you tried other kinds of medicine that's not as addictive?

I have felt the exact same way, I thought benzos were the only way to be functional when I was clean off opiates.
It bit me in the ass.. I would over do the benzos and then be so messed up that I started using opiates again.
It's not worth it my friend.

 

[Napdmd]

If I were you I would watch out with these benzos. They can make you feel really comfortable and so be really addictive. If you can control the benzos then use them sporadically when you need them the most. If you have an addictive personality I would skip the benzos. I am going through benzo withdrawal myself and it is really easy to fall in the benzo trap. Withdrawal is absolute horror. I am no expert, but I think using opiates and meth downregulate your dopamine receptors pretty bad and can cause extremely low mood, anxiety, social anxiety and anhedonia. Just be patient and clean and in time your receptors will resensitize and you will feel better by the day and become your old self again. Good luck.

edit: excuse my foggy benzo brain. just read you have a past with them. better not touch the benzos then.

 

[MrRoot]

I tend to think now that once you've been addicted to something you just simply can't fill the void that using and quitting your DOC caused without doing nothing. Benzos might help but only for a while and then you just have another problem to deal with.

Do you have any hobbies at the moment? Doing anything that interests you will most likely fill that void you have inside you.

Staying active and living for something and not just surviving will help staying on the course you want to be on.

 

[Moreaux]

I would strongly recommend you learn healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety, and not rely on benzos. You said you would sometimes abuse them coming off meth, I suspect that if you start taking them now for anxiety, you will quickly be dependent and abusing them as you are no longer using anything else, and they will activate the pleasure centers in your brain.

Aside from that, they are really bad for you long term, trust me, it's been six years since my last benzo and my memory is still terrible. Aside from cognitive impairments, they drastically lower your siezure threshold and seem to wreck havoc on your body in general.

Addiction happens relatively quick, and they are not a ling term solution. At some point you would have to stop, and benzo withdrawal is hell. It takes a long time to recover from benzos, and the axiety coming off of them is worse than what you're going through now.

I know you don't feel great now, but I think the healthiest thing you could do is to learn to manage the anxiety you have now, as it's going to get better. If you can learn to manage the levels you're dealing with now, you'll be golden moving forward in life. I highly recommend cognitive behavioral therapy. It takes time to learn and manage, but it works wonders. I learned it going through benzo withdrawal, and have managed to salvage my life and be relatively happy and productive. I've found the longer I'm sober, the better I get, and the more the anxiety decreases. Good luck!

 

[w0w0mg]

I would strongly recommend you learn healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety, and not rely on benzos. You said you would sometimes abuse them coming off meth, I suspect that if you start taking them now for anxiety, you will quickly be dependent and abusing them as you are no longer using anything else, and they will activate the pleasure centers in your brain.

Aside from that, they are really bad for you long term, trust me, it's been six years since my last benzo and my memory is still terrible. Aside from cognitive impairments, they drastically lower your siezure threshold and seem to wreck havoc on your body in general.

Addiction happens relatively quick, and they are not a ling term solution. At some point you would have to stop, and benzo withdrawal is hell. It takes a long time to recover from benzos, and the axiety coming off of them is worse than what you're going through now.

I know you don't feel great now, but I think the healthiest thing you could do is to learn to manage the anxiety you have now, as it's going to get better. If you can learn to manage the levels you're dealing with now, you'll be golden moving forward in life. I highly recommend cognitive behavioral therapy. It takes time to learn and manage, but it works wonders. I learned it going through benzo withdrawal, and have managed to salvage my life and be relatively happy and productive. I've found the longer I'm sober, the better I get, and the more the anxiety decreases. Good luck!

Very nicely put. I second this!

 

[bakeryrogercow]

You need to appreciate and understand that early recovery sucks. 5 months is not long enough for your brain to recover. It's my opinion and the opinion of those in most of my recovery groups that anything less than 12 months is still early recovery, and nothing is back to normal in early recovery. a common phrase I hear is that "early recovery is its own special hell". IT WILL GET BETTER. You just need to stay the course and stay sober. I can say for a fact that if you just keep working at it, in 6 months you will be in a better place than you are now. It may not be dramatically better, but it will be better. We're really impatient in early recovery for a few reasons. We're used to instant gratification as addicts, take a pill and feel better instantly. The thought of having to wait months and years to feel better just seems insane, but that's life!

You don't have to talk at meetings. In fact, the AA groups by me even encourage you not to talk for the first 90 days, and you're only at 1 week so you could just say i haven't had 90 days yet. I'm pretty sure that's a universal AA thing. Even after 90 days, you can always pass. If AA isn't your thing, try SMART recovery. Different philosophy but same goal. Let me know if there is any other way I can help

 

[Zapgunn]

Thanks guys. All of these posts were very helpful and I decided not to go back on Benzos!

 

[herbavore]

^Fantastic!

 

[deos68]

benzo recovery is not a weeks worth of recovery
it could take anywhere from months to even years
in the beginning the after math is horrendous but will get better with time
hang in there brother and dont give into temptation