Should I deal with my problem or carry on blocking it...

[oliphill]

Hi, I sometimes have a look in this forum, but don't ever post much. I'm currently on a methadone script and use on top too, and basically whilst on it, feel OK. Mentally I mean. Like I can deal with being apart from my girlfriend and not feel depressed about my current life situation (which frankly is really shit and depressing) But even after typing that and knowing my life is shit at the moment, I can't feel it. It is 100% most definately, positively, to do with the opiates and I know this for a fact.

So in a way I have it pretty good really, found the best ever anti depressant. Well then comes the bad part... I can't feel anything!! I can't love anyone, I can't get into films and TV properly, laugh at things, etc, etc. Everything is just as it is, logical and that's it.

Deep down I know I need to stop, but do I really? Should I really? I was so mixed up when not on opiates that for the last 10 years my life has just been total madness really, and the last time I tried to stop I made it 48 hours before thinking of ways to kill myself.

Hmm, I don't know what to do. I need to feel again, but then at the same time... I don't, if you know what I mean!

 

[brandy42]

Try hard.

All this stuff is unkind. I'm trying to go through a benzo withdrawl. But they are just there.

 

[rant*N*rave]

Yes, you should really. It's worth it, and you know it. I won't say anything else right now, because I think that's all you need to hear. If you want more advice-y type stuff, I'm more than willing to type as much as you want - just let me know. :D