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Should I ask her out? She not really in a relationship.

Gaz_hmmmm

Gaz_hmmmm

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 27, 2002
Messages
4,086
Location
England, UK
Is it ok to ask a lass out who not in a relationship but does have a fuck buddy?

She used to go out with a guy I know but now they're just fuck buddys. She seems in-secure and he treats her like shit. She's older then him (Which I'm surprised about, she's 20 he's 17. Normally I would have thought a girl of this age would prefer a guy who was her age or older.), but younger then me.

I spoke to her last night and she seems ok but I'm just wondering if she might be immature especially with her seeing a younger guy and him treating her like shit and also saying things like "You're gorgeous, you could have someone better then me.". She said that to her fuck buddy/ex'.

I know he wants rid of her, but seems to want her for sex so I don't know if I should ask her out or not as I'm not sure where she stands with him exactly and also I'm not 100% on her maturity. I suppose I'd find that out as I got to know her.
 
She ain't his property. If you want to be with her then tell her so. Realize it might fuck up your friendship with the guy, and possibly her as well, but you know fuck it. One of the consequences of a culture that doesn't respect sex is that you will always be stepping on someone else's toes. If you aren't serious about her then I'd say it is too much drama to bother, but that's my attitude about sex regardless. I don't believe that sex without guilt and consequences exists. You will always either get hurt or hurt other people. So ask yourself, is it worth it? If it is, then go for it.
 
Gaz_hmmmm said:
Is it ok to ask a lass out who not in a relationship but does have a fuck buddy?
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who decides what's "ok"? do you think it's ok?
Gaz_hmmmm said:
She seems in-secure and he treats her like shit.
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red flag.
Gaz_hmmmm said:
I spoke to her last night and she seems ok but I'm just wondering if she might be immature...
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red flag.

after what happened last time (What The Fuck? :-/), why are you pursuing this girl? what are you looking for?

alasdair
 
^^Good point.

I think maybe you should just lay your cards on the table. Say you are interested in her and you don't like how homie is treating her and that she deserves something better, from you or someone else. Tell her that you are here for her now but that you aren't going to wait around for her to decide what she wants. Then walk away. Walking away is a powerful negotiation tactic. She DEFINITELY isn't worth the drama she is putting you through unless you are really in love with her. Assuming of course that this is the same girl from the other thread. If not, then geeeez man I know crazy girls are fun but maybe you should try to meet some that are a bit less dramatic.
 
I'm kinda thinking maybe I shouldn't ask her. She seems infatuated with him ( Her F-Buddy) even though he treats and talks to her infront of people like she is a piece of shit (This is a classic case of "Girls just like being treated like crap by guys who don't seem to want them) and he's not 100% about actually wanting a relationship with her.

From what I've learnt because of this and what seems to be her immaturity I'm thinking I may as well leave'em to it and not bother asking her out.

The way she's allowing him to treat her like a piece of meat to fuck! when he wants and she comes running when he says is making me dislike her and think fair enough let him treat her that way. She's older, should be wiser and deserves it if she'll accept his shit especially in public. I admit I like her and would love for her to relise she deserves better but her attitude and maturity are really fucked up.

Honestly how many 20yr old girls go after 17yr old guys, especially ones that treat'em like shit?
 
If you feel that she deserves better you should tell her anyway. Maybe it works out for you in the end, maybe not, but if he really does treat her like that someone needs to be her friend and tell her she is better than that.

Fo' real though, where do you find all these crazy chicks? Sounds awesome.
 
artic said:
If you feel that she deserves better you should tell her anyway. Maybe it works out for you in the end, maybe not, but if he really does treat her like that someone needs to be her friend and tell her she is better than that.

Fo' real though, where do you find all these crazy chicks? Sounds awesome.
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England, how we ever became a World power I do not know.
 
I have a friend that treats girls like this guy & they keep running back to him like hes got a penis made of gold. The guy is good looking no doubt but the way he treats women, Im really surprised they keep coming back (he doesnt physically abuse them, just mentally)..........let me say one other thing, he can never get a college educated woman or an intelligent independent woman for that matter.

As for the OP's question: there are older women that do like younger men, just like older guys like younger women.Older women like younger men to use as a boy toy usually.........

As for you asking her out, tell her she needs to respect herself & not let any guy treat her the way this clown is treating her, then again, she might like the battered wife syndrome w/o the physical abuse. just mental.
 
Ask her out. If she says no, then so be it. If she says yes, then awesome.
 
Gaz_hmmmm said:
I know he wants rid of her, but seems to want her for sex so I don't know if I should ask her out or not...
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I'm pretty sure that I've been that guy before, the fuck-buddy, and I've known when it was my time to step aside and let her have at something more, something better. It's a feeling of mixed emotions, really, because on the one hand you enjoy your time together and the sex is out of this world and yadda yadda, but on the other hand you've always known that she deserves better, and so you just have to let it happen.

You might be surprised, my man. He might just throw up his arms and say, "Fuck it. It was fun while it lasted." That's what I would do, for sure. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he might not be your problem.

The problem that I see is you sound unsure of her, uncertain of a possible relationship, etc. So, I'm not sure that you should jump into anything just yet.
 
Verso as long as she stays his fuck buddy and doesn't put her foot down and say to him, "I want a relationship or I'm not continuing this!" I know he'll just continue being the way he is with her. He maybe 17yr's old but he's not mature, that's why I can't understand why a 20yr old girl would wanna go out with him. But then she is immature and insecure.

I know a guy who's seeing a prostitute, it's a really fucked up relationship based on drugs but that guy treats his lass better then this 17yr old guy treats his 20yr old F-Buddy.
 
I wouldn't worry about his feelings about her too much, especially if you're not close friends with him. If he treats her like shit, uses her for sex and won't make it official again, fuck him, that's his fault, he had it coming one day. But the thing is if she's insecure, emotionally immature and can't actually see that this cunt is bad for her health, well it could just finish up fucking you over in the end if she isn't over him completely and he comes crawling back to her once he realizes he has to jack off a bit more. A lot of these kind of relationships don't seem to change, if someone sees something they like in someone even through all the other bullshit they rarely change their mindset for a long time. And assuming things went all good, she throws this guy away and you guys started seeing each other, from how you guys are being friends and all would she really be worth it in the end? It sounds like you know her pretty well and if she isn't happy with herself, odds are she won't be happy with anyone else. Then again, if you guys really have a thing going, and you know you'll be like a Romeo to her, well that might just be the thing to make her realize what a proper relationship is meant to be like. You be the judge man. Just my 2 bobs.
 
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