Need Help Short-term Methadone or Wean (Heroin)?

[endlessnameless]

I've spent the last year trying to kick Heroin at every given opportunity but to be honest I'm fucking sick of sweating it out all weekend, sometimes even calling in sick for work Monday and Tuesday only to score out of panic on Tuesday night. Tried to kick over the Christmas/new years which didn't work as when you owe your dealer and he's willing to front you its very difficult to refuse when you're ringing wet from sweat and haven't slept or been able to eat in three days.
Now I promised myself if I couldn't kick over the Christmas/New Years (crap time for kicking in general due to it being the depths of winter but also with having to see family etc) that I'd pay my doctor a visit at the first opportunity in the new year to talk about getting on Methadone short term. I had done this in the past with the same doctor where I refused to take any more than 20mls p/d and I was actually on and off it within 8 weeks and stayed clean for longer than I can actually remember. I would be willing to do this...and enquired as to when I'd be able to see him...and I was told that he was away at the moment and wouldn't be back until the end of the month.

Cant bare the thoughts of having to do do this tip-toing around at night lying about where I'm going hating myself for what I'm doing for another month but I *really* don't have much of a choice and now I *have* to use and I *have* to lie because cold-turkey isn't feasible in the job I'm in. I suppose since I've no choice but to wait a month I may as well try some other methods (bare in mind my habit is 1-2 bags a day so not at all a big one but a habit is a habit and no being able to function without it speaks for itself so no dick-measuring please).

So my question is should I try the short-term (two months) Methadone treatment or should I continue to wean down to as little as possible until I'm smoking only a line or two a day and then stop, grin and bare it?
Even if I was to get on the Methadone short term I wont get to see my doctor until the end of the month anyway, and as I recall from before you need to be off Heroin at least a week before you'll be given a prescription...and after a week I'd imagine the worst would be over...
As you can tell I'm in two minds about it, however in the meantime I feel I may as well wean down to as little as possible and see where I am at the end of January because as I said, I wont be able to see my doctor until then.

I'd be extremely grateful for your thoughts on this - thanks BL.

 

[cdin]

so - my own experience is that the potency of any dope varies so widely batch to batch that it is nearly impossible to do a taper that way - one bag same dose will get you 3x as high, so unless you can afford all one batch up front for a taper, i would get whatever actual medical option i could. however - if it was bupe or methadone I would go for an even shorter taper - 2 weeks to a month, something like that.

 

[endlessnameless]

Coincidentally I've been weighing up the very same options myself today even down to not going over a month with the methadone as I feel any longer will only rope me into a situation I know I'll regret; a situation worse than my current habit; a situation I'll ultimate have to detox from which I'll have to take time off work to get off and wont be able to take until March, let alone not for enough time I fear either as I'm currently only working part time. If I could get a half-eight then I could taper with that more effectively than what I did today where I got a deal on 3 0.2 bags for €50, but the guy with the weight wasn't picking up (9:39am - surprise surprise - and I had to be in work by 1pm so I couldnt afford to wait around on a wing on a prayer.

Everyone I've spoken to has advised me not to get back on methadone at all though if I was to then yes, I think 2-4 weeks would be well enough time. Better still would be to buy 200mls and do a shorter term detox with that but I just cant find anyone selling it - not in my current circle of contacts anyway, one which I've been working on shrinking for a while now however I had people calling me up in a panic in the week leading up to Christmas desperate for Methadone - one guy offered me €60 if I could find someone who would sell him 200mls...of course I couldn't get any; no one seems willing/able to part with it as of late it seems, and it was like this before December too as .

I'm going to schedule an appointment with the locum that's standing in for my doctor for January 20th and see if she'll be willing to prescribe me what my doctor did before - Lyrica ~600mgs p/d and Mirtazepam/Zispin (I don't think she'll give me benzos on top - perhaps Zimmovane (and although I did stock up on 30 1mgs Alprazolam today I expect they'll likely be gone come Friday next) and I'll still wean down to as little as possible during the interim period.
My regular GP who's away until the months end has always been open to my suggestions and I've never met this locum before so I cant say that she'll be the same. Then again, it will be written in my medical file what my doctor prescribed me before so given that fact, its a possibility she she may. I still have a decent supply of Oxybutrinin which works wonders for the sweats (hyperhidrosis).

Now if I absolutely cannot get over the worst with the meds to mitigate the symptoms then I'll have to go down to my GP when he returns and discuss the option of using methadone for a very short term - I under no circumstance want to get locked into that entire scenario again.

@cdin Thank you very much for your reply.

 

[endlessnameless]

Ok so I went for a job interview today in a bid to get back into something creative again and got a call about 3 hours later to say they want me to begin as soon as possible. Its actually in radio as a sound-engineer and although its part-time to start, I know I'll be much happier there than in my current position in 'Administration' which has been sucking the life out of me. We agreed for a start on February 13th which gives me just under a month to get my shit together. I'm due to get a prescription for Lyrica, Mirtazepam and Diazepam which I should be able to pick up tomorrow. Thats the route I'm going to go. I still have some Ditropan for the sweats (as I'll still have to work my current job until February 10th) but this will sure beat doing it cold turkey which just will not work for me and I'm tired of putting myself through the physical and psychological agony and worry.

I'll begin the Lyrica on Friday as in the passed I've found the 'drunken' or 'wobbly' feeling tends to taper off after a few days. I'll also be able to knock myself out with the Mirtazepam/Zispin and for when the restlessness/absolutely insane anxiety hits I'll have the Diazepam. I'm going have a shit time ahead but it would definitely be worse without the medications to take some of the edge off.

Sure - I'll be depressed out of my mind etc but at least when I come home from work in the evenings and eat, I can knock myself out until the next morning. About 10 days of that I expect.

Anyone any tips for the chills?

 

[neversickanymore]

I would only consider using methadone if you are planning to return to methadone maintenance. Methadone has a significantly longer half and this means when you jump from the methadone you will be acute withdrawals almost twice as long as if you were kicking H. If your having trouble detoxing the H then you will have even more trouble jumping th. Ie methadone as the really shitty physical part will last twice as long.

I think an important thing to remember is everyone pays the piper in the end. My personal opinion is that tapering rarely leads to getting clean. At the end of the taper everyone still needs to jump and push trough the acutes. Personally I don't feel that an opiate taper reduces the level of discomfort felt at then end much if at all. So people go through the discomfort of all the time tapering and then still pay the piper.

What I would consider is coming up with a strong recovery plan for after the acutes are over. What are you going to use to heal, treat any PAWS, and treat any psychological addiction. Make it out of simple parts that work together to form a very strong recovery plan.

Then I would accept the fact that your going to pay the piper no matter what and also realize that your 5-7 days away from the first miracle. Get some strong comfort meds together to try and treat the acutes as much as possible. Set up a time frame with real life that works a well as can be managed and then jump.

Your going to be sick and you wont be able to sleep and all that fun shit. But in one week or less you will be through the tunnel!!

You can do this.. just takes a few days to wander outa hell.. the trick is having solid plan so you don't jump back in as then you have wonder back out again

EDIT: you will be through the acute withdrawals in a week. I wouldn't even dream of jumping back on methadone at that time. Acute heroin withdrawal is completed in under a week.

 

[endlessnameless]

Thank you for your words of wisdom @neversickanymore
I've since learned that I'll have 3 whole weeks off as of this Monday which is plenty of time to detox. I have an early meeting on Monday to finalise a few things and then I begin on February 13th. I'll begin the Lyrica on Monday evening then so. I took 15mgs of Mirtazepam last night and it knocked me clean out, but I've taken the same dose tonight and I'm not feeling it so I'm going to take another.

I'm extremely thankful that I don't have to go into work sick and that I have some time off before I start - its a MASSIVE stress off my mind.

 

[endlessnameless]

If the acutes or even most of the acutes will be over with within a week then that would be fantastic.

Ok I think I can feel the Mirtazepam kicking in on me now. I took the second and ate some tiffin and now I'm beginning to feel it.
In terms of dealing with PAWS, although I didn't get it the last time I got sober in 2020 (except for some short-term anxiety however I have diazepam which I'm keeping for that) if I'm still experiencing extreme depression nearer to Feb 13th, I'll contact my GP in relation to it. I don't want to go on any SSRIs etc though - I don't want to be addicted to anything ever again for the rest of my life.

In terms of comfort meds, what would you recommend? Thanks in advance for any further advice.