One of the most poetic and succinct phrases that I've ever read. Opiate addiction is an unavoidable lifestyle, especially with the most recreational one. When you start getting addicted you have absolutely no reserves about continuing to take it, even as you convince yourself that its just harmless fun or some bs. I was on codiene for six months, thats NOTHING compared to Heroin. Still, I exhibited all symptoms of extreme addiction without any guilt. I was miserable for at least six months after I quit too...
shooting smack and having a good life - possible?
- Thread starter captainballs
- Start date
One of the most poetic and succinct phrases that I've ever read. Opiate addiction is an unavoidable lifestyle, especially with the most recreational one. When you start getting addicted you have absolutely no reserves about continuing to take it, even as you convince yourself that its just harmless fun or some bs. I was on codiene for six months, thats NOTHING compared to Heroin. Still, I exhibited all symptoms of extreme addiction without any guilt. I was miserable for at least six months after I quit too...
socio
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2009
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- 342
Depends very much on the social setting of using and thing like local political and legal context. Norman Zinberg, a Harvard psychiatrist (some of his publications can be read on line), studied large numbers of "controlled users" of opioids (about 100 in one of his studies), many of whom used for many years while working as successful professionals. I've known very successful people who carried on IV heroin habits throughout their adult lives. Also known many people who died and/or really messed up theirs and others' lives.
hazejunk
Bluelighter
If i had enought money. I'm sure my addiction would be a hole lot easyer to deal with. Other then that. I'm addicted for 7 years now and have had a steady job for 4 years now. Good relationship with my familly and stuff. Doing pretty good as a junky. Not a lott of people know i shoot heroin though. And the people that do know are some what ok with it. I have never did a criminal act to get my dope. So that helps.
I'm on methadone now and don't use heroin every day. The methadone makes it a lot easyer. I pick it up ones a week. So thats ok.
I'm sure i could have made a lot more of my live but i'm pretty happy this way. Heroin did make my lose some of the people i really loved. But i did that al to my self and got over that now.
I'm just trying to make the best of it. For years i did not feel good about my self though. And thought of my self as a fuckup. But i got over that.
If you go trough live thinking your a fuckup you are gone act like one as well. And not care about shit because thats what fuckup's do.
It sure is posible to have a good live while addicted to heroin. It just makes some parts harder .
I'm on methadone now and don't use heroin every day. The methadone makes it a lot easyer. I pick it up ones a week. So thats ok.
I'm sure i could have made a lot more of my live but i'm pretty happy this way. Heroin did make my lose some of the people i really loved. But i did that al to my self and got over that now.
I'm just trying to make the best of it. For years i did not feel good about my self though. And thought of my self as a fuckup. But i got over that.
If you go trough live thinking your a fuckup you are gone act like one as well. And not care about shit because thats what fuckup's do.
It sure is posible to have a good live while addicted to heroin. It just makes some parts harder .
socio
Bluelighter
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- Dec 14, 2009
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^ Case in point! I'm not able to do all that anymore, not necessarily because of drugs alone, but if heroin (& other drugs) were legal like methadone, then I think it would be just as easy to use them as methadone with a normal functioning life. No doubt it hurts performance on many tasks in a direct, physiological fashion while you're experiencing drug effects (more dangerous to drive and operate machinery, maybe interferes with some cognitive skills). But for many people those problems would be kept in check somewhat by maintenance of steady doses, which most long-term users achieve eventually, given the resources. For many outcomes, social context is just as important as chemical make up and route of administration of a drug.
34-dihydroxyphen
Bluelighter
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If opiates were legal, affordable, and always available then I would be leading a perfect life. The trouble that comes from opiate addiction is that an underground lifestyle where you have to deal with being sick on a constant basis, and have to choose between paying the rent or being sick, is unsustainable.
I don't think this is the case with every opiate user. I just think that some people are endorphin deficient, and it causes depression in these individuals that is untreatable by SSRI's and the like.
I am a much higher functioning person in every aspect of my life when I have opiates. The problem is, I can't afford to do them forever, so I have to settle on Suboxone, which doesn't help.
I don't think this is the case with every opiate user. I just think that some people are endorphin deficient, and it causes depression in these individuals that is untreatable by SSRI's and the like.
I am a much higher functioning person in every aspect of my life when I have opiates. The problem is, I can't afford to do them forever, so I have to settle on Suboxone, which doesn't help.
socio
Bluelighter
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- Dec 14, 2009
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- 342
I'm the same way. Suboxone with a legitimate Clonazepam script was great. But when the Clonazepam ran out and I moved, Subx alone didn't cut it, so I've gone back to harder drugs. It infuriates me when people say my current problems are entirely due to the drug addiction. (I do concede that using illegal drugs cause me countless problems and I might be better off without them, at least some of the time.) Before I ever did those drugs, though, my life was so miserable I surely would've killed myself (not depression, but extreme relentless insomnia and anxiety)! After I started on illegal drugs and/or meds, it was still miserable a lot of the time. But at least I started sleeping most nights, didn't get panic attacks so bad I would puke or pass out upon going outside my apartment, could go out for food and eat every day, etc.! I imagine that I could find healthier solutions (e.g., when I was exercising about 3 hours a day, I needed much less in the way of meds, but if I took more than one day off -- forget about it, I would go right back to crazy!).
Had I lived before the pharmaceutical revolution in psychiatric medicine, or lived in a very poor country, I'm sure I would have led a short miserable life. Some people really do have physiological or psychological issues that can only be treated with chemical supplements, or at least whose lives would be miserable without, though I'm sure they are in the minority of users.
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verso
Bluelighter
I have very little experience with heroin but a whole, whole lot of experience with painkillers. Having just recently and for the first time experimented with some all right dope, I think that it may be possible to dabble in it and at the same time live a productive life free from addiction. I think that shooting up could be the "one hit wonder" that sends a person straight to hell. (I'm exaggerating, of course, but you get the idea.) That being said, a person dabbling in it and sniffing a bag here and there may be able to avoid addiction but at the same time will never be far from it. You know? That's my two cents and from the peanut gallery, too. Bluelighters, shed some more light on it or me...
the_traveler
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 18, 2009
- Messages
- 6
****IF YOU HAVE READ THIS IN THE BODY OF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION UPDATE E-MAIL, PLEASE READ AGAIN - AS I HAVE FIXED MANY MISSPELLINGS AND GENERAL FUCK-UPS THAT WERE IN MY ORIGINAL POST!****
I have gone down the heroin route, and after getting addicted pretty quickly, I spent most of my twenties trying to get off opiates, including a three year stint of some heavy methadone treatment. Those three years were a complete blur, and if your urine comes up positive for opiates while on methadone, which they check weekly, they can raise your methadone dose without telling you. I was on such a high dose that I would drink my methadone, walk about 15-20 minutes to catch the train home, and I would pass out while seated. Once I woke up with a woman trying very hard to wake me up, and a crowd of people standing around me looking as if they thought I was dead. Or, I would be high on dope and pass out on the train TO the methadone clinic, and be woken up by the conductor after the train had gone into the rail yards.
I know this thread is about dope, but I just had to include a couple of my other opiate stories to show how ridiculous and darkly comical my life was. If I wasn't using crack (which I believe will leave you stripped and naked before you know what has happened (the devil in short)) to offset my catatonic state, or doing dope to get a real euphoric buzz, then I was miserable and eating frozen waffles with butter filling every square, dripping in enough knock off maple syrup to produce a diabetic coma (for non-junkies), and watching Bram Stoker's Dracula every day while eating the waffles. I really lived inside the world of that movie, and I wished I could drink blood to survive. I would have been happy to kill people for a taste of immortality, and the ability to live only at night.
I finally got clean at 27, when I started to feel like I was literally rotting, and believed that given the state of my body, that I was going to die. I had gotten off of methadone about a year and a half before that, but continued to use various drugs, including heroin.
About five and a half years later, I was still clean, but I was depressed, hopeless, and felt like being near my family was driving me insane. I had initially gone the aa route (na for white people), but I no longer subscribed to its belief system, and found the aa meetings in my part of the country to be stifling, and not very helpful at all anymore.
I started smoking some pot, and I moved across the country to get away from my family. Shortly thereafter, I started to use poppy pod tea, and developed a daily addiction. I was addicted for almost four years, and I started to withdraw in early December, using Loperamide, Kratom and, finally, Phenibut.
I have to say that I am grateful for my poppy time, because my so called recovery was basically the kind that asks you to give up past transgressions against you by everyone, and kiss other's people's asses until they see you as a contributing member of society, and not a piece of shit. However, I believe that there is a prevailing mental sickness(large or relatively small) in families where people get addicted - and eventually get completely taken over by drugs – that needs to be addressed, and is usually the underlying cause for the depression, hopelessness, and dissatisfaction that usually leads to drug abuse. I have gotten high (even on heroin) with plenty of people who move on to their lives, careers, and significant others the next day - but I have remained in a cloud of fantasy and escapism for the majority of my life (even before drugs, with food and - eventually - dudes).
I would say that if you are looking to start shooting dope, there might be some agonizing feeling under the surface of your daily emotions that you want to escape, and you are looking for a strong-enough substance to do so with. Believe me, I understand, and I don't judge you for it, because the world on its own is fucked up enough to get people hooked on drugs, but their has to be “an invisible sun” out there as an alternative to daily drug use and abuse!
I would really not suggest shooting dope, especially as your entree into the world of opiates. I snorted dope for most of my opiate career, and at the end, I was skin popping and mainlining whenever some other Methadonian was around to shoot my vein up. It was a rush, but I would pass out a lot right after my shot. You just can't tell about the potency of dope from spot to spot, and sniffing it is a much better way of judging that, since shooting could literally kill you. If you are determined to try dope, then you should definitely start out with snorting it, as most people do.
However, I would suggest Kratom instead of dope. It produces a similar high, but doesn't carry the nasty side effects and dangers that heroin does. When I mixed at least two heaping tablespoons of powder into a tea, I felt Kratom’s euphoric effects, but I would start out a bit lower as a first time user.
Even some of the negative effects that are written about Kratom have not reared their ugly heads during my Kratom use. In answer to your question, I don't think you could shoot dope and not wind up super stressed and unhealthy, but I think you could do Kratom (even somewhat regularly) and not fuck things up in your life - although I don't know how much of your daily ambition will be sacrificed as a result of regular Kratom use or a daily habit.
With opiates, especially during my poppy tea days, I didn't want to leave my house, and got myself, and my mom into heavy credit card from living off of those cards while I wasn't working. The opiates took my ambition, and made my anger, rage, bitterness and resentment perfectly ok. But I couldn't live off of my bitterness anymore, and eventually I wanted out of my poppy cocoon - which I have slowly been breaking out of for a little over a month.
I understand the desire (and the need) for a change in consciousness, and a buzz - but I would try Kratom first. It is a much less evil and dark alternative to opiates (in my view), and is a comparable to it in its effect.
Best wishes to you on your quest for something beyond the monotony of everyday, modern life!
I have gone down the heroin route, and after getting addicted pretty quickly, I spent most of my twenties trying to get off opiates, including a three year stint of some heavy methadone treatment. Those three years were a complete blur, and if your urine comes up positive for opiates while on methadone, which they check weekly, they can raise your methadone dose without telling you. I was on such a high dose that I would drink my methadone, walk about 15-20 minutes to catch the train home, and I would pass out while seated. Once I woke up with a woman trying very hard to wake me up, and a crowd of people standing around me looking as if they thought I was dead. Or, I would be high on dope and pass out on the train TO the methadone clinic, and be woken up by the conductor after the train had gone into the rail yards.
I know this thread is about dope, but I just had to include a couple of my other opiate stories to show how ridiculous and darkly comical my life was. If I wasn't using crack (which I believe will leave you stripped and naked before you know what has happened (the devil in short)) to offset my catatonic state, or doing dope to get a real euphoric buzz, then I was miserable and eating frozen waffles with butter filling every square, dripping in enough knock off maple syrup to produce a diabetic coma (for non-junkies), and watching Bram Stoker's Dracula every day while eating the waffles. I really lived inside the world of that movie, and I wished I could drink blood to survive. I would have been happy to kill people for a taste of immortality, and the ability to live only at night.
I finally got clean at 27, when I started to feel like I was literally rotting, and believed that given the state of my body, that I was going to die. I had gotten off of methadone about a year and a half before that, but continued to use various drugs, including heroin.
About five and a half years later, I was still clean, but I was depressed, hopeless, and felt like being near my family was driving me insane. I had initially gone the aa route (na for white people), but I no longer subscribed to its belief system, and found the aa meetings in my part of the country to be stifling, and not very helpful at all anymore.
I started smoking some pot, and I moved across the country to get away from my family. Shortly thereafter, I started to use poppy pod tea, and developed a daily addiction. I was addicted for almost four years, and I started to withdraw in early December, using Loperamide, Kratom and, finally, Phenibut.
I have to say that I am grateful for my poppy time, because my so called recovery was basically the kind that asks you to give up past transgressions against you by everyone, and kiss other's people's asses until they see you as a contributing member of society, and not a piece of shit. However, I believe that there is a prevailing mental sickness(large or relatively small) in families where people get addicted - and eventually get completely taken over by drugs – that needs to be addressed, and is usually the underlying cause for the depression, hopelessness, and dissatisfaction that usually leads to drug abuse. I have gotten high (even on heroin) with plenty of people who move on to their lives, careers, and significant others the next day - but I have remained in a cloud of fantasy and escapism for the majority of my life (even before drugs, with food and - eventually - dudes).
I would say that if you are looking to start shooting dope, there might be some agonizing feeling under the surface of your daily emotions that you want to escape, and you are looking for a strong-enough substance to do so with. Believe me, I understand, and I don't judge you for it, because the world on its own is fucked up enough to get people hooked on drugs, but their has to be “an invisible sun” out there as an alternative to daily drug use and abuse!
I would really not suggest shooting dope, especially as your entree into the world of opiates. I snorted dope for most of my opiate career, and at the end, I was skin popping and mainlining whenever some other Methadonian was around to shoot my vein up. It was a rush, but I would pass out a lot right after my shot. You just can't tell about the potency of dope from spot to spot, and sniffing it is a much better way of judging that, since shooting could literally kill you. If you are determined to try dope, then you should definitely start out with snorting it, as most people do.
However, I would suggest Kratom instead of dope. It produces a similar high, but doesn't carry the nasty side effects and dangers that heroin does. When I mixed at least two heaping tablespoons of powder into a tea, I felt Kratom’s euphoric effects, but I would start out a bit lower as a first time user.
Even some of the negative effects that are written about Kratom have not reared their ugly heads during my Kratom use. In answer to your question, I don't think you could shoot dope and not wind up super stressed and unhealthy, but I think you could do Kratom (even somewhat regularly) and not fuck things up in your life - although I don't know how much of your daily ambition will be sacrificed as a result of regular Kratom use or a daily habit.
With opiates, especially during my poppy tea days, I didn't want to leave my house, and got myself, and my mom into heavy credit card from living off of those cards while I wasn't working. The opiates took my ambition, and made my anger, rage, bitterness and resentment perfectly ok. But I couldn't live off of my bitterness anymore, and eventually I wanted out of my poppy cocoon - which I have slowly been breaking out of for a little over a month.
I understand the desire (and the need) for a change in consciousness, and a buzz - but I would try Kratom first. It is a much less evil and dark alternative to opiates (in my view), and is a comparable to it in its effect.
Best wishes to you on your quest for something beyond the monotony of everyday, modern life!
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