shit

well.... I don't know how to say this really, but I need to.


I done fucked up.



ended up getting the number of a dude who sells coke, and now I'm in the early stages of a slight IV coke addiction. it's only been 3 weeks at this point, but I have to stop now before I lose all control. I've seen it take people VERY quickly. its mental I know, I've always said I have very little pity for people who are hooked on coke, but here I am. I don't pity me either, it's fucking stupid. I leave for vacation at 3am tomorrow morning, and wont have access to anything for an entire week. I really hope that kicks it for me... I know I am strong willed enough to do this, but I've been very stressed lately. the wife is suspicious of course, and if she finds out it's over. for reals.

ok. end pity party.

 

As you know, the crash is horrible psychologically. For me, the first day was the worst. After that, it was a full month of resisting the urge to do it again before the cravings subsided. It's do-able, and going on vacation away from your supply will make it easier.

 

The good thing about coke is that the cravings will go away. Took about 6 months for me but I rarely if ever crave coke anymore. Opiates on the other hand that's a different beast.

 

Yeah thanks guys, I have been getting better. I went the whole week last week without doing it but I was on vacation lol so no points for self control there. But I will quit this shit for sure asap.