Is it normal to feel scared and confused about life? I mean sure you.
I'm lucky that I have so many people that have been helping me out with numbers, and moral support.
I still feel like I want to be with my family since this is the holidays and everything, I don't want to really think about "C-Day" because I have a feeling that it's going to be like "T-Day" all over again. (I'm using abbreviations because... well. those words just hurt at the moment.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I've recently been reading someones blog, http://homelesscide.blogspot.com/
It is about a 40+(I think) gentlemen that due to his unfortunates he was left to live on the street.
If you read a little bit of it he tells you that he still functions as being homeless. He still see's his daughter, and does the deal.
I just felt like bringing that up because you don't learn from homelessness from your kindergarten teacher.
I've also been on the http://www.suicideforum.com/
really because I've felt so low that I really feel like ending it, and they have supportive people in the chat room that talk to you, and listen. No matter what time of the day it is their is always someone there, and that means a lot when I feel so fucking sad.
Well today is Sunday, December 6th. I've got 10 days before I have to leave to find somewhere else to go, and since I can't return to school for next semester then I've got to do something.
I haven't talked to my mom or dad in a long time, I know that they are pretty pissed at me for my last blackout.
I cant rely on my parents my whole life, and cant expect them to bail me out of trouble every time I make a mistake.
Feeling pretty down right now, at least this coffee is pretty strong. Here at about 11:30am the lunchroom opens so I'm going to walk down there and fill up my bag full of those little soup crackers, and jelly's. Maybe i can make them stretch instead of eating them all at once.
that's all i got for now
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11:52am
Luck is on my side I guess for now. They put the crackers out, sucks in a way they are the little rectangle keeblers, and a handfull is like 8-10 crackers, and they hardly fill me up. They taste better then the other crackers, more of a sweet taste then insted of some kind of french onion taste like the bigger ones.
I'm sitting here in the lunchroom on my laptop, its quiet here, the only down part is that the person that is working in the cafeteria is one of those people that will charge you for a cup of water.
Eh gotta look somewhat productive so they don't think I'm just here for the crackers.
---
12:45pm
Didn't bring my laptop battery charger with me, so I'm down to half a battery. my laptop has a pretty big ass battery and It saied it can last up to 5 hours or so without a charge, I'm not listening to any music so I don't know what it's wanting to run out so quick.
about to go back and get some more crackers, this is so redicolus, funny I play it out so smooth.
and if they ask questions they know that the price of food here is wayyyy over charged, who the hell can afford a single patty burger with no cheese for $4.00?
fuck that i'm straight with these crackers and jellys lol.
Pretty quiet here, not much of anything going on. Don't know for sure when the lunchroom closes but I'm going to try to take every last pack of crackers.
I'm lucky that I have so many people that have been helping me out with numbers, and moral support.
I still feel like I want to be with my family since this is the holidays and everything, I don't want to really think about "C-Day" because I have a feeling that it's going to be like "T-Day" all over again. (I'm using abbreviations because... well. those words just hurt at the moment.
I've recently been reading someones blog, http://homelesscide.blogspot.com/
It is about a 40+(I think) gentlemen that due to his unfortunates he was left to live on the street.
If you read a little bit of it he tells you that he still functions as being homeless. He still see's his daughter, and does the deal.
I just felt like bringing that up because you don't learn from homelessness from your kindergarten teacher.
I've also been on the http://www.suicideforum.com/
really because I've felt so low that I really feel like ending it, and they have supportive people in the chat room that talk to you, and listen. No matter what time of the day it is their is always someone there, and that means a lot when I feel so fucking sad.
Well today is Sunday, December 6th. I've got 10 days before I have to leave to find somewhere else to go, and since I can't return to school for next semester then I've got to do something.
I haven't talked to my mom or dad in a long time, I know that they are pretty pissed at me for my last blackout.
I cant rely on my parents my whole life, and cant expect them to bail me out of trouble every time I make a mistake.
Feeling pretty down right now, at least this coffee is pretty strong. Here at about 11:30am the lunchroom opens so I'm going to walk down there and fill up my bag full of those little soup crackers, and jelly's. Maybe i can make them stretch instead of eating them all at once.
that's all i got for now
-------
11:52am
Luck is on my side I guess for now. They put the crackers out, sucks in a way they are the little rectangle keeblers, and a handfull is like 8-10 crackers, and they hardly fill me up. They taste better then the other crackers, more of a sweet taste then insted of some kind of french onion taste like the bigger ones.
I'm sitting here in the lunchroom on my laptop, its quiet here, the only down part is that the person that is working in the cafeteria is one of those people that will charge you for a cup of water.
Eh gotta look somewhat productive so they don't think I'm just here for the crackers.
---
12:45pm
Didn't bring my laptop battery charger with me, so I'm down to half a battery. my laptop has a pretty big ass battery and It saied it can last up to 5 hours or so without a charge, I'm not listening to any music so I don't know what it's wanting to run out so quick.
about to go back and get some more crackers, this is so redicolus, funny I play it out so smooth.
and if they ask questions they know that the price of food here is wayyyy over charged, who the hell can afford a single patty burger with no cheese for $4.00?
fuck that i'm straight with these crackers and jellys lol.
Pretty quiet here, not much of anything going on. Don't know for sure when the lunchroom closes but I'm going to try to take every last pack of crackers.
