Hi,
First time going beyond lurking on the forums, looking to read advice and experiences from other peeps.
So a little background: I have a history of heavy drug use (SUD) as well as other mental health issues. I recently relapsed after 2 and a half years of sobriety due to not handling the persistent mental anguish I've felt these last 6 months, resorting namely to drugs I've anecdotally found therapeutic (GHB and ketamine) in lieu of the other 2 alternatives presented in front of me: electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), as suggested by the psychiatrist I've been seeing for over 5 years, seeing as, according to him, I had no other pharmacological tools available to me, or suicide as suggested nonstop by my brain.
Ever since this past week of doing K, the suicide ideation and planning has stopped but I'm aware that I have no "self-control" when it comes to managing psychoactive substances on my own (especially ones I've acquired illicitly and for which I don't have a proper posology), and therefore it'll only be a matter of time before I sink myself back down into the bog of addiction.
I wanna get back to the psychiatrist and bring up prescribed ketamine as an option for my bouts of depression, but am also faced with the conundrum of having now quickly increased my tolerance to K by a LOT over this past week (each dose has roughly increased by about 400% and no longer provide the same intensity of effects). So my concern is that my recent K abuse would interfere with medically prescribed doses.
What're your experiences with this sort of crossover? How did you manage the dose/effect response? I'm guessing a break to lower tolerance is going to be necessary and, if so, for how long in your experience/opinion?
As an extra bit of info: I feel I surprisingly didn't experience "permatolerance" in that the initial hits were similar to my first times on K after having taken this nearly 3-year long break. However, the tolerance ramped up quickly, as described above, just from doing K about 3x/day. Also, in case it might occur to someone, I'm uninterested in turning to AA/the 12-step program or any other sort of "self-help" community atm.
Thanks
First time going beyond lurking on the forums, looking to read advice and experiences from other peeps.
So a little background: I have a history of heavy drug use (SUD) as well as other mental health issues. I recently relapsed after 2 and a half years of sobriety due to not handling the persistent mental anguish I've felt these last 6 months, resorting namely to drugs I've anecdotally found therapeutic (GHB and ketamine) in lieu of the other 2 alternatives presented in front of me: electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), as suggested by the psychiatrist I've been seeing for over 5 years, seeing as, according to him, I had no other pharmacological tools available to me, or suicide as suggested nonstop by my brain.
Ever since this past week of doing K, the suicide ideation and planning has stopped but I'm aware that I have no "self-control" when it comes to managing psychoactive substances on my own (especially ones I've acquired illicitly and for which I don't have a proper posology), and therefore it'll only be a matter of time before I sink myself back down into the bog of addiction.
I wanna get back to the psychiatrist and bring up prescribed ketamine as an option for my bouts of depression, but am also faced with the conundrum of having now quickly increased my tolerance to K by a LOT over this past week (each dose has roughly increased by about 400% and no longer provide the same intensity of effects). So my concern is that my recent K abuse would interfere with medically prescribed doses.
What're your experiences with this sort of crossover? How did you manage the dose/effect response? I'm guessing a break to lower tolerance is going to be necessary and, if so, for how long in your experience/opinion?
As an extra bit of info: I feel I surprisingly didn't experience "permatolerance" in that the initial hits were similar to my first times on K after having taken this nearly 3-year long break. However, the tolerance ramped up quickly, as described above, just from doing K about 3x/day. Also, in case it might occur to someone, I'm uninterested in turning to AA/the 12-step program or any other sort of "self-help" community atm.
Thanks

