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Share the most recent time you've humiliated yourself to make Raz feel better thread

Raz

Raz

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
7,329
Location
In an igloo made of asbestos and chicken-wire.
This is really just a thinly veiled disguise for me to talk about myself, but you know, at least I'm not out painting chihuahaus with glue and sticking them to car windscreens or anything...

Okay, so there is this guy that sits opposite me at work that I may have a slight crush on. He is a bit of a muzza, but whatevs. I am sure he disapproves of my constant very loud bitching about how everyone I work with are a giant pack of douche canoes and how I'd rather eat glass than voluntarily share any more time with them than necessary, etc etc....I'm also pretty sure he doesn't know that I have a crush on him.

So one day after work last week, I was on the treadmill at the work gym when he walked in the door. He waved in my vague direction, and despite the fact that we have never had any communication whatsoever, I automatically assumed he was waving at me and gave him a nod back.

Even as my head was moving I realised my mistake...unlike any normal person who would just let it go though, I felt like I needed to cover my mistake, so for the whole rest of the time he was there I kept doing the same nod every couple of minutes to make him think I had Tourettes and was not secretly writing his name in love hearts on all my work stuff.

It has since been pointed out to me that if I had just left well enough alone, he probably wouldn't have given it a second thought, but now he is going to think I am some freakazoid with fake Tourettes Syndrome.

AWK-WARD.

Anyway, please tell me something to make me feel like that wasn't so bad. It was pretty bad. LOL 8)
 
Hahahaha oh man that's pretty damn funny! You shouldn't worry about it when that happens, it happens to all of us! That happened to me recently at work, and i considered possibly trying to cover it up but then just thought fuck it, it is what it is. Just laugh! You laughing at yourself is better than no one laughing at all! (that always makes me feel better anyways)

My most recent embarrassment was when i was having lunch with some gals from work, and one that i didn't know so well was asking me about my husband and wedding day and all that, and when i got done with my story i then asked her about herself and after establishing that she has a 'partner' of 2 years, i asked if they ever discuss marriage, and she seemed to have a accent of some sort and talked very fast (and she was very girly, almost barbi doll looking) so when she apparently said she was "gay" i thought she said she was 'engaged" so i shrieked and was all excited! She was so taken by surprise, as was everyone else (they knew her better than i did) and i stared asking what her wedding plans are, and she then started saying how it's not legal in Australia which confused the hell out of me! Anyways after about 5 (long) mins of an awkward disconnected conversation with a table of people listening and witnessing she finally repeated herself and said "no im not enGAYged, i am GAY"

It was just awkward from then on, no matter how much i was like "oooohhhhh i see!!! I misheard, sorry hun!!"....*cough* ..*tumbleweed* .... you get the idea :\

Some people need to just lighten up, i reckon. I think she thinks im a crazy woman! I misheard FFS!!!!!
 
Well, I fell arse over tit on one of the busiest streets in Lamai (on Koh Samui) during a rain storm and smacked my knee so hard i started crying - in the street, drenched in rain with Scandanavians coming up asking 'are yuu orrkay?" (to which i wanted to reply" "NO, DO I FUCKING LOOK OK??" :D

Less recently (feb this year) I was walking with some new work friends in the city (i'd just started there) and i see the boyfriend of a bluelighter, who i'd not known very well, but fucking well enough to say hi. He was with work friends too. As we approached, i said 'oh i know him, he's ****'s partner! HELLO *****!!" and he promptly ignored me. I looked like the biggest dick - what did he think, that i was going to ask if he was heading to godskitchen (ew) to eat his own head this weekend? WANKER. One of the girls even said 'so, did you actually know him??" :|
 
Oh I have an awkward story to share with you all! About a year ago I was living with my girlfriend and a friend, things were all running smoothly until one day my friend brings a girl back home that he met at a bar. I hear the odd noise coming from the room that night and in the morning I get up and make a bit of a joke at my mate about it, then she walks out.... My ex that I dated for 3 years before my current girlfriend.

At first she and I both look at each other with this look of complete fear then the housemate/friend catches on that we must know each other and like usual I attempt to defuse the awkward situation with humour and for some unknown reason I said along the lines of "well by the rights of transfer my dick has been in your mouth" now in my head that was a funny joke given the circumstances but they both seemed pretty mortified.

And just when I thought things were as awkward as they get my girlfriend walks out of the room and of course over hearing the conversation as it's a small place she was pretty damn wierded out. Could go into more details but I can't be bothered now.
 
Ohhhh lovegrud... not cool man, not cool =D

I can only imagine how awkward that moment would have been though, god damn!!
 
Would have been handy to have a writer when I took my cat in to the vet a few weeks ago and I saw a brochure about cat aids pointed to it and said that "maybe I should stop sharing needles with the cat then"..

The vet didn't find it funny.
 
^^ :)

I just had another awkward moment, am at work at the moment and our work toilets have a sign that says if it doesn't stop flushing just give it a good thumping. And it didn't stop flushing so I had to hit it a few times.

I walk out of the toilet and my supervisor commented saying "everything seems to work better after a few good thumps" to which I replied "keeps the woman in line that's for sure"...
There was an awkward silence but I laughed hoping he'd catch on that I was joking.

My girlfriend laughed when I told her though ( that's how I know she's my lady :) ).

Note to self: spousal abuse jokes aren't funny.
 
All of your examples I find hilarious and so would all my friends. I think the problem is not your jokes but the losers you are forced to interact with.

I can't even think of a recent example of humiliation which shows how much time I've been spending cooped up studying. Bring on Summer and no Uni.
 
lostpunk5545 said:
All of your examples I find hilarious and so would all my friends. I think the problem is not your jokes but the losers you are forced to interact with.

I can't even think of a recent example of humiliation which shows how much time I've been spending cooped up studying. Bring on Summer and no Uni.
Click to expand...

Lol thanks man (ego boosted)

justwillie123 said:
I sat on a styrophoam cooler the other night

Ice beer and water...everywhere
Click to expand...

Lol and a wet arse, I bet.

Once at a family friendly Doof while tripping pretty hard I walked up to a family and asked them if I could have a jelly bean (they had one of those paintbuckets full of Jenny beans) they passed me the bucket and my grip slipped and I spilt the jelly beans everywhere I apologized then started to pick them up off the ground and put them back in the bucket (was tripping seemed like the right thing to do) anyways they took the bucket off me. I said sorry again and gave the dad $20 and a few J's to apologize.
 
Fake Tourettes how hmmmm... yeah I feel for ya buddy... :)


Ok so a while back I was at a pub getting stuck into a few pints of foreign beer and I remembered this chick ask for a certain kind of drink earlier so I got it, sat down next to her, handed it over and stuck up a conversation. About 15-20 mins later its all good when a mate of mine walks up, notices I'm rather drunk (hadnt tried that beer before, it crept up on me plus I had some spirits too/no food since like a small lunch earlier that day), and ask'd if I'd do her (nodding to the girl I'd been talking to). So I look over, she seems to be chatting to someone next to her so I go 'F*ck yeah'...... I'm pretty sure she heard.

In my defence I was drunk enough to say yeah to any woman in the place pretty much, I had no actual interested in her (if u knew her u'd know why). He was a shit stirrer and I should have seen that coming cos he is known for this kinda stuff but yeah foreign beer and me thinking her attention is elsewhere. Anyway, to cut a long story short dont ever drink too much when your at work drinks talking to the just-out-of-school-kid your meant to be training/helping to settle in.

...I'd take fake torrets any day...
 
Few years back i was out in the city getting my drink on big time... my mum told me that if i wasnt back before 1am (fucking lame) then i would be locked out..

I figured they wouldnt do this and actually ended up boning 2 chicks that night! Was a fucking legendary night..anyways as im walking down my driveway i here in my head "If your not back by 1am..your gonna be locked out...locked out...locked out...locked out.."

haha

Anyways im like "Ha ha.. they would never lock me out!"

Turns out the key wasnt hidden where it was meant to be and i was locked the fuck out! In the middle of winter and starting to sober up..sort of..i was quite drunk.

I ring my buddy to bring me a towel or ANYTHING to keep me warm..but he has already got home and started drinking. He was dezo that night so yeh..


Anywho...im there trying to get comfy on the fucking door mate..getting newspapers from the damn recycling bin trying to do anything to stay warm, when i see the garage..and i figure ill go look in there for something warm!

Car is locked..so cant sleep in there...then i see a tarp!

Now as i'm reaching for the tarp i trip on something (its dark and like 3.30am) ..i look down and its a jerry can full o fuel!

Now we are talking.. now on my way home i had stumbled across (almost literally) a miniature wooden chair ...really just topped off the night at that moment haha..was so close to home..just got my sex on and i find a mini chair! Stoked!

This chair is quickly destroyed upon sitting on it when realising im locked out..adding to the humiliation.

So anyways i take the chair and decide a FIRE is the best way to keep warm! (bad idea.)

I construct a mini fire with newspaper and a small bit of petrol. But unbeknownst to me the jerry can has tipped over..

I light the fire and BOOM half the fucking backyard in on fire man...seriously..

Long story short the sun comes up just as im getting to sleep sitting on the back steps, a big ring of ash and burnt grass in front of me as i here the backdoor slowly slide open.

Its my mum... mouth agape....shocked...

I run inside leaving ashy footprints to add insult to injury which i was reprimanded for later.



I think that wins.
 
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