this morning, i was having intense paranoid delusions that the world and its people were evil. so i went on a walk in the sun to try to shake it. brought a knife just in case. at first it wasn't working at all. there were all these babies crying and construction workers cutting cement and i couldn't understand what anyone was saying. it felt like everyone was giving me really weird stares. i ordered a coffee and the girl at the counter kept asking me the same questions again and again. it was like i couldn't hear her and she couldn't hear me. and i could hear these screams coming from everywhere. i was about to freak out. but i kept on walking and trying to be logical. a guy gardening said hello to me and then someone in my building held the door open for me a joked about being a good doorman. those are small things, but all i needed was a little sunlight and a few small signs that humanity wasn't evil. and i got them.
in a little bit after i apply for a job i will go for a really hard bike ride to make sure it doesn't come back.