shades of grey

[lostNfound]

as it may
let it be
shades of gray is all i am

shades of gray

an unfinished dark room
spewing forth undeveloped images
of a colourless life

shades of gray

images brought to life
trickery as an art form
at its best

shades of gray

eyes like prisms
in a myriad of kaleidoscpic worlds
forming images most unreal

shades of grey

shadowing the true colours of my life
beneath the shattered glass
stained to imperfection

shades of grey

hiding the depth of the puddles in the earth
filling deeper and deeper
until it rains

shades of grey

torrents of rain wash away the grey
like lenses positioned to focus
on the world

shades of grey

poised and ready
to make new the next life
all in the same day

shades of grey

through the turnstyle i pass
and step aside
on ahead i say

shades of grey

i push you ahead
you not me
i know im not yet ready

shades of grey

the turnstyle locks and im stuck again
and the clouds move in again
only no more rain

shades of grey

here i stand
waiting and watching
waiting for a sign

shades of grey

harder than clay
its set in this time
where to go

shades of grey

do i wait for the rain again
or a storm
what then

shades of grey

more than rain it takes
to clear the mud from my skin
to open my eyes

shades of grey

no room for sunlight to seep through

unless it seeks me out
down the two way street
where were destined to meet

until then

shades of grey!

 

[cherub]

i like this... very poetic sense about it,,, nice work

 

[Doppelganger]

Yeah, this was cool. Definitely one of your best [if not your best] .

Some great imaginary, and I really liked the theme.

If I could make one suggestion - I'd say that 'shades of grey' [despite being well-placed a lot of the time], was a bit over emphasized. Considering it is quite a long piece!

If you feel inclined, try it after every second stanza - just to see how it sounds.

As I said though, great written work :D.

 

[moto_stevo]

If I could make one suggestion - I'd say that 'shades of grey' [despite being well-placed a lot of the time], was a bit over emphasized. Considering it is quite a long piece!

If you feel inclined, try it after every second stanza - just to see how it sounds.:D



I really dig this piece. I can identify with so much of it. Keep up the good work!

 

[Dastrix Slogan]

A lot or work went into the detail and the theme of being that grey lifeless person carries through. I really liked this, I have been there in that grey world myself, dont stay too long though!

 

[lostNfound]

Thanks people.

I thought afterwards, maybe i had over emphasized the shades of grey part as well. But after reading throught I began to skip those bits as well but my eyes always passed over it as a reminder that is there and its the underlying message in the piece.
Afterall, I was drunk when I wrote it, and I prefer to hit the submit button without making any changes, just write as it comes to me. More real to me then somehow.

 

[(Wordy)]

This stanza stands out for me:

torrents of rain wash away the grey
like lenses positioned to focus
on the world

(an alluring image)

 

[Mary Poppins]

I really liked this piece and the understated and restrained image it gave me.

The only thing that didn't sit well with me (despite slightly agreeing with the over-emphasis of 'shades of grey') is the use of the word 'spewing' in the second stanza. To me it is too much of a violent/agressive/active verb for the piece - when it did so well to create a passive feel.

Great work regardless though - i really enjoyed it

 

[up all night]

^ I don't know. I can see what you're saying but I like the word 'spewing' in there but that may be because I don't think it has a 'violent' tone as such. Kind of like registering his disgust at the mundanity of his position straight away.

This was great but I don't think you're a grey person at all. You have a lot of colour - I guess we all just feel muted sometimes.