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Sexual Rejection is Harming my Relationship: Advice/Suggestions Needed!

Lola - Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree that I need to back off and stop bringing the issue up to him, as it's only adding more stress to the situation.

He initiated sex last night and it was incredible, so I don't think he has a complex about me being a mother; in fact he couldn't wait to pounce on me after I gave birth to our daughter (we did not wait the recommended 6 weeks to have sex after she was born- we only waited 2.5 weeks - I felt completely healed by then). Nonetheless I will try to focus my energy on other things like exercise. I have an awesome vibrator, that I do use on occasion when he doesn't want to have sex. I can achieve orgasm with it and just by using my hand... but let's face it, it's nowhere near the same as having sex with a partner. My need and want to have physical intimacy with my partner isn't just about getting off... in fact that's the least important part. Its about having that deep connection with someone - a connection you don't have with anyone else :)
 
Absolutely it is a need that is important in a relationship.

But equally, in families and relationships sometimes we have to put our needs on a shelf for a while if the other person is unable to meet our needs because of their own issues. Sometimes one person has a physical or mental health reasons for needing time off from sexual intimacy, or other stresses. While it's important both people have their needs considered and respected, I think it's equally important to acknowledge that our needs can't always be 100% met by our partner, and in fact, there will be points in any monogamous relationship where we have to go for a while without needs being met. Perhaps his need from you is to find non-sexual ways to be close to you without the pressure to have sex, in which case you haven't been meeting his needs either? And while you had sex after birth, I was referring more to new fathers sometimes feeling "pushed out" from the mother/baby bond and maybe feeling the baby gets all the cuddles and warmth and closeness and he's just there for your sexual and procreation needs, which would feel quite lonely I'd imagine. Just a thought.

If a long time goes in a relationship and one person's needs are neglected, that's a fair reason to suspect there's a problem. But it might just be that allowing him to re-adjust is all that is needed...
 
I am new to this and I had no idea the message was sent already. I've tried several times to figure out how to delete the multiple copies of this message and I got no where. I hope it helps though and I wish you the best, and your boyfriend is a lucky bastard for having a girl who is that committed..

click edit. then delete:)
 
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