A bit of history, we have been very close friends and have had brotherish relationship for almost 6 years. I am now 30 and he is 24. In the past, I was in love with him and actually told him that, but he turned me down, telling me he was straight, and even though he loved me too, he simply could not love me in the way I wanted him to. He dated a girl during the time, broke up with her, became a born-again Christian and remained single (and according to him celibate) since then (and that was 4 years ago when he was 20). Despite frequent fights between us, we remained very close and I have eventually moved on, relocated to another state to work and gone on several dates since.
Fast forward until last week, I had not seen him for over a year before that, but we kept in touch via occasional texts and phone calls. Anyway, Last week we caught up, and on Saturday we decided to have a home roll, we had a bit to drink and took some MDMA (it was his first time). And we ended up engaging in sexual activities, stopped short at penetrative sex, although, at the risk of being too graphic - and I am sorry for being so, we did everything else in between, including analingus, and he enjoyed everything thoroughly. He also got quite emotional said that he has loved me for a long time but that we aren't supposed to be doing this because it is against his religion, and his friends at church and parents would not accept this. He also said that he was gonna marry me and that would be perfect (the reason why he didn't wanna have penetrative sex is because he wanted save it for our marriage to make it special - yet that didn't stop him from enjoying having his arse played with) He also thanked me for being so understanding and patient with him, and have always been there for him when nobody was, and realized that nobody ever loved him like I did.
Anyway, when the comedown came, he said we weren't supposed to be doing what we did and that we have ruined everything, he since has left without replying to my messages or calls, and that was 2 days ago. Now I know that alcohol makes people horny and lowers their inhibitions, and MDMA makes us more emotionally open and enables us to easily express our thoughts and feelings. I know emotions and feelings are intensified and exaggerated and that's why he said what he said, I also know that he couldn't have said all those things, and more important, engaged in and enjoyed all those things with me if the true feelings weren't there in the first place. To be honest, I thought I was just gonna have some good time catching up with him, but I got caught by surprise how it turned out.
I am giving him some time to absorb what happened, and told him when he is ready to talk, I will be there. I understand he must be having emotional conflicts, mixed with shame and guilt due to his religious teaching. I am a bit confused as what I should do next ? With what happened, i am still wondering if the mixture of alcohol and MDMA could actually turn a straight man gay. Making out is one thing, but blowjobs and anal play are a horse of different color, and his confession of love for me as well. I wonder if MDMA could do all this, my own experience is that MDMA does not create something that is NOT already there, although I am conservative with my own experience for the risk of being biased.
Anyway, I hope you guys, straight gay and everything in between, especially those who have experience with this kinda thing can shed some light. Is he gay, straight, bisexual ? He certainly seemed to think so, he said so, even after we did, is this just denial ? And what should I do now ? Wait and see ?
Thank you for any input
Fast forward until last week, I had not seen him for over a year before that, but we kept in touch via occasional texts and phone calls. Anyway, Last week we caught up, and on Saturday we decided to have a home roll, we had a bit to drink and took some MDMA (it was his first time). And we ended up engaging in sexual activities, stopped short at penetrative sex, although, at the risk of being too graphic - and I am sorry for being so, we did everything else in between, including analingus, and he enjoyed everything thoroughly. He also got quite emotional said that he has loved me for a long time but that we aren't supposed to be doing this because it is against his religion, and his friends at church and parents would not accept this. He also said that he was gonna marry me and that would be perfect (the reason why he didn't wanna have penetrative sex is because he wanted save it for our marriage to make it special - yet that didn't stop him from enjoying having his arse played with) He also thanked me for being so understanding and patient with him, and have always been there for him when nobody was, and realized that nobody ever loved him like I did.
Anyway, when the comedown came, he said we weren't supposed to be doing what we did and that we have ruined everything, he since has left without replying to my messages or calls, and that was 2 days ago. Now I know that alcohol makes people horny and lowers their inhibitions, and MDMA makes us more emotionally open and enables us to easily express our thoughts and feelings. I know emotions and feelings are intensified and exaggerated and that's why he said what he said, I also know that he couldn't have said all those things, and more important, engaged in and enjoyed all those things with me if the true feelings weren't there in the first place. To be honest, I thought I was just gonna have some good time catching up with him, but I got caught by surprise how it turned out.
I am giving him some time to absorb what happened, and told him when he is ready to talk, I will be there. I understand he must be having emotional conflicts, mixed with shame and guilt due to his religious teaching. I am a bit confused as what I should do next ? With what happened, i am still wondering if the mixture of alcohol and MDMA could actually turn a straight man gay. Making out is one thing, but blowjobs and anal play are a horse of different color, and his confession of love for me as well. I wonder if MDMA could do all this, my own experience is that MDMA does not create something that is NOT already there, although I am conservative with my own experience for the risk of being biased.
Anyway, I hope you guys, straight gay and everything in between, especially those who have experience with this kinda thing can shed some light. Is he gay, straight, bisexual ? He certainly seemed to think so, he said so, even after we did, is this just denial ? And what should I do now ? Wait and see ?
Thank you for any input
