• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Sexless Relationships.

^ I understand and in one sense I'm the same, I am very sensitive to a person's vibe or connection, many have that and I melt when they touch me - almost an over emotional reaction, for others it's more eeewww! very black and white really.
 
Yes, thanks for sharing this, Llama. I think it is so important to not only take this quiz for yourself but have your partner take it as well. For example, my highest scores were for quality time and physical touch. My husband scores highest in acts of service for himself. My lowest score was acts of service. He tends to express his love towards me through acts of service, which is how he feels loved. When I feel neglected, I have to *try* to remember that he is trying to show me he loves me, just not necessarily in the way I want.

Conversely, since acts of service mean little to me, I tend to not do these things very often, which leads him to feel neglected as well. It is always about finding the balance.

Thanks for the update on Kitten, B1tO'RoughJack....I am very glad to hear that she is doing well.
 
^^Yeah. It's kind of funny how intensely an act as little as, say, brushing someone's hand, can convey a flood of thoughts & feelings.
 
IntimacyAddict said:
^ lol yeah the inner nerd - now tell me you love the ocean and we'll be clones :D
Click to expand...

I *DO* love the ocean! There's something calming and very spiritual about it!

I don't know - IA, tell me something as you have been in this situation. Is it worth keeping the marriage going and finding something physical outside of my marriage!? It's driving me nuts having all this pent up frustration and no release. Especially seeing how much physical interaction is crucial to my well being and sanity!

I am about 2 steps away from signing up on a discreet encounters website! I CAN'T TAKE NOT HAVING INTIMACY ANYMORE!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
 
Cherokee said:
I *DO* love the ocean! There's something calming and very spiritual about it!

I don't know - IA, tell me something as you have been in this situation. Is it worth keeping the marriage going and finding something physical outside of my marriage!? It's driving me nuts having all this pent up frustration and no release. Especially seeing how much physical interaction is crucial to my well being and sanity!

I am about 2 steps away from signing up on a discreet encounters website! I CAN'T TAKE NOT HAVING INTIMACY ANYMORE!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Click to expand...

I feel your pain bro, totally been there but whether to keep your marriage going, I can't answer that one.

I spent just over 2 years trying to make my marriage like it was and the whole time nothing physical at all - not a hug, I ended up so stressed I was in therapy and on Valium as I didn't want to be unfaithful. When she finally told me she was leaving and that it was over, for my own sanity, I ran out to a legal escort agency and hooked up with an expensive high class girl that I thought would give me some desperately needed physical time with no emotional attachment.

I'm no stud but, me being me, within minutes were connecting on an emotional level, sex became secondary and the intimacy was at a level I'd never experienced. In my naivety, I kept making more and longer bookings. The emotional bond just sky rocketed and on our last meeting we spent 24 hours together just loving and caressing - however there was still a business arrangement behind it even though she never wanted money for much of our extended time, yet at the end of that night, in my total fatigue and exhaustion I got the money wrong, she left in tears and I never heard from her again.

That was just not what I needed, so my advice to you is, a high class, clean working girl from a legal establishment is totally awesome but follow the rules, remember it's always business no matter what the feelings so make sure the money and time is organised up front, never make long bookings keep it to an hour or less so you can't develop feelings and don't see the same girl more than a couple of times unless you're really sure you're not becoming attached. Also be careful of private girls advertising on websites, many of them have profiles that have been enhanced, ie age isn't correct or old pic of themselves before they gained weight, also make sure they'll kiss, I'm sure you're like me and that's an intimacy must have. If you can meet them in advance like in an escort agency, I found that to be the best. Also check out their reviews from other punters if you can. On the up side it totally fixed my anxiety and gave me back my self confidence. It also removed that "needy" impression that I was putting out after my relationship bust, and if you're looking for another relationship, most women aren't attracted to someone that appears needy. So my Escort time sorted that out and I was able to move into a regular relationship again without being desperate which may well have caused me to hook up with someone similar.

My only advice is to speed up the resolution between you and your partner. I wish now that I'd been more upfront in explaining my needs, but at the time I was depressed and still didn't want to put pressure on her, turns out it was the worst thing I could have done. Hope some of that helps :)

aspergers-love.png
 
Yeah IA, I don't know if I would get into expensive, high end escorts. LOL, tempting, however maybe more of a birthday gift for myself!

I have talked (as you had too) with my wife and just seem to be spinning my wheels. I prefer more of the 'Lonely MWF' thing, someone in a similar situation.

There seems to be this intense desire to grabs a 'side dish' yet I have a reservation on the same level. I don't know.....

I *DO* realize that a one time thing can tear down years of trust and work, I just can't keep rubbing them out.

John
 
^ Yes I agree, I would never suggest being unfaithful, for me trust is everything and I stayed faithful until we had mutually agreed on separation not matter what the pain was like.

The quality escort is maybe a one off treat that helps with self confidence if you get a nice one - wouldn't recommend relying on it, too many issues not to mention the expense. The main benefit is that you finally in your life, get sex when you want it which is incredibly liberating - with an expert too who won't have a headache, with no emotional ties and at a financial cost that you negotiate up front. Totally worth an hour of your life.

From my experience with my ex, if you aren't talking then your relationship is declining whether you want it to or not. So rather than put yourself in pain for any longer than you need, you probably need to force the communication issue with regards to how important your needs are and - if she's spinning your wheels then lay it out for her that you can't go on like this and there will be a line drawn in the sand at some point. It's tough when it comes to that but for your own sanity I'm not sure that you have an alternative.

It's tough moving on but there are other loving relationships out there to be found :\
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top