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sexism- attitudes towards libido and how they influence the opinion of either sex.

pofacedhoe

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well there are many ideas about sexual frequency

we have seen that these attitudes influence relationships and their formation

have your say...;)
 
Dunno, I like girls who LIKE sex, who initiate it, who open about it.

I'm against sexism personally, and not even on wanky moral grounds. The scientist in me says that from both empirically observing women, and based on some understanding of biology/neuroscience/psychology , that the only really valid generalizations (As in those which do tend to be true most of the time, and which have a solid underlying reason behind them) are a) Women do not have penises and testicles, they have vaginas and ovaries etc. b) As a result, they have some different hormonal levels than men. This leads to usually being less heavily muscled, lower bone density, etc and various other physical traits. This is like saying Black people have different amounts of melanin than white or Asian people. It to me does not seem to imply anything about their brains, or thoughts being different. As such, I dismiss those who argue that men and women think differently as patent nonsense.

Similarly, I dismiss the social idea of gender roles (or race roles, or class roles) as absurd and stupid. Including those that posit different levels of acceptability for the same sexual behaviour when done by a man or woman
 
It's sad and I'm emo atm, but I find men shy away from sexually aggressive women as not relationship material. Not talking just about my current experience, but others as well. There is this weird attitude that women who like sex are sluts and should only be treated as such where a girl who doesn't like sex is a "good girl." I mean, sure, men cheat on their GFs with people like me, they want to ditch their GFs for someone like me, but they don't see a sexually aggressive girl as someone they can be with for a long time. I like sex, and if I'm attracted to you, I will want to rape you every way to Sunday, but this makes me a slut and it's frustrating. I like a relationship with a guy who wants to do crazy things and have sex anywhere and anytime. However, I want to do this with one person....not just random dudes. But the way I look at things doesn't make me the relationship type. I have a relationship, but he sees me as the good girl. I think I shall change that soon and surprise him with something crazy, but still, had I been this way a year or two ago, I'm really not so sure he would still be with me.
 
Hmmm....I think that may be true for a lot of insecure and immature guys that a sexually aggressive woman is "not relationship material", but a real man appreciates a woman who really likes sex. I definitely felt persecuted in the past from previous partners for liking sex too much, and looked at with suspicion because that is not how a girlfriend is supposed to act for some unknown reason. My beau appreciates my high sex drive, however. Of course, it ebbs and flows, and sometimes I feel friskier than other times. He always seems to fret more when I am not feeling as lascivious for some reason. He has a very high sex drive also.

You just have to meet the right person whose libido matches yours.
 
Yes, I agree. I'm not always frisky. I have times when I'm "meh" and times when I want to do something fun and crazy. There is a balance there, but you have to get each others' horny moments in sync. lol
 
Well, us guys have our times where we're just like "meh" towards sex too. Sometimes I'd rather be doing linear algebra, sometimes I'd rather be trolling people on the internet, etc.

Personally speaking, I don't think I'd find a sexually repressed girl to be relationship material. Given my tastes in bed, I like a VERY aggressive girl. (and I have one who combines that with being really affectionate and it's fucking epic.)

But yeah, I hold nothing against girls with a high sex drive and think those without are in fact the odd ones. (Of course I understand everyone has times when they're not feeling sexual. I'm talking the integration value of 'frisky' across the time domain)

I've personally found that smart, geeky girls seem to be more sexually aggressive...perhaps their smart enough to realize the societal taboo is stupid and disregard it?
 
Girls who are aggressive and have a lot of sex because they actually like sex and don't care what people think are 100% cool with me. It's a huge turn on to me because I like sex and I can be aggressive (to put it mildly) too. On the other hand, girls who are aggressive because they're constantly trying to seek validation from men deserve no respect and are definitely not relationship material. These girls have a lot of sex too but only because they use guys or guys use them.

It's a delicate line and it makes a huge difference. I feel like most of the younger girls (16-29) who have a lot of sex and don't have boyfriends are validation seekers (whether they know it or not) while the older women I've met who have a lot of sex can be aggressive and emotionally open at the same time. Which makes sense. Young girls who love sex and are emotionally available don't stay single very long, while the older women are more experienced and confident enough to not need to use people for validation.

That said, if you're a woman and you love sex, you're awesome.
 
On the other hand, girls who are aggressive because they're constantly trying to seek validation from men deserve no respect

Don't you think you might be exaggerating a little?

If a girl hooks up with some random guy for a one-time thing because she needs validation I really don't see how she's using him. I also honestly don't see what the problem is and why that makes her less deserving of respect than if she were hooking up with him for other reasons.

When it comes to relationships, I like a guy who's got a high sex-drive simply because I do too. For hook-ups though, I don't think there is such a thing as too much - if I'm not really into the person I'm not going to want to do it all night.
Quite frankly so long as he's not going to judge me for liking random sex I don't really mind.
 
yeah thing is if you have one off sex its like trying out a new takeaway. you both get something out of it

i dont think people are always looking for validation, maybe an ego boost.

i dont feel validated from one night stands i just enjoy the fun aspect and the chance to sharpen skills in a fun environment

i do feel satisfied that i got laid and if that is validation then so be it, but it doesn't feel like validation it feels like scratching a mental itch
 
Personally speaking, I don't think I'd find a sexually repressed girl to be relationship material. Given my tastes in bed, I like a VERY aggressive girl. (and I have one who combines that with being really affectionate and it's fucking epic.)

I do think you're in the minority here. Just from my experience, many guys do shy away from females who are more "out there" as relationship material. Not all, but most.
 
Don't you think you might be exaggerating a little?

If a girl hooks up with some random guy for a one-time thing because she needs validation I really don't see how she's using him.

That's the definition of using someone. They use him for validation and move on.

Page said:
I also honestly don't see what the problem is and why that makes her less deserving of respect than if she were hooking up with him for other reasons.

The fact that they want validation isn't the reason why they don't deserve respect; that's just the catalyst for why these girls do what they do. The reason why they don't deserve respect is because these girls have no regard for the feelings of the guys they're using. You can't respect someone like that.

I'm not saying using someone for sex is always a bad thing. If Person A lets Person B know beforehand that all Person A wants is sex and Person A doesn't want feelings to get involved but Person B still choose to sleep with them, it's Person B's fault if they get hurt. Also it's not just women who do this. Guys do it too. But I don't sleep with dudes so my perspective only includes women.

pofacedhoe said:
yeah thing is if you have one off sex its like trying out a new takeaway. you both get something out of it

i dont think people are always looking for validation, maybe an ego boost.

i dont feel validated from one night stands i just enjoy the fun aspect and the chance to sharpen skills in a fun environment

i do feel satisfied that i got laid and if that is validation then so be it, but it doesn't feel like validation it feels like scratching a mental itch

IME women call it validation and us manly men call it ego. I've never heard a guy say "I just need some validation right now"
 
The fact that they want validation isn't the reason why they don't deserve respect; that's just the catalyst for why these girls do what they do. The reason why they don't deserve respect is because these girls have no regard for the feelings of the guys they're using. You can't respect someone like that.

How do you know that these girls are "using" a guy? More likely, they're just getting out there and enjoying sex...if some wanker gets his feelings hurt, that's on him, not the girl.
 
How do you know that these girls are "using" a guy? More likely, they're just getting out there and enjoying sex...if some wanker gets his feelings hurt, that's on him, not the girl.

It's the guy's fault? Really? If a guy tells a girl that he loves her to get her to have sex with him and then never calls her again you wouldn't blame the girl for getting her feelings hurt in that situation. All I'm doing is holding girls to the same standard you would hold a man to.
 
It's the guy's fault? Really? If a guy tells a girl that he loves her to get her to have sex with him and then never calls her again you wouldn't blame the girl for getting her feelings hurt in that situation. All I'm doing is holding girls to the same standard you would hold a man to.

Yes, it's the guy's fault. (Actually, since I'm assuming you're a guy, I'm using you as a convenient scapegoat for all the men who've treated women like crap)

Girl power!! :p
 
Yes, it's the guy's fault. (Actually, since I'm assuming you're a guy, I'm using you as a convenient scapegoat for all the men who've treated women like crap)

Girl power!! :p

So your philosophy is "girls can do anything we want to guys and it's the guy's fault if they get hurt"?

No wonder you get treated like crap.
 
So your philosophy is "girls can do anything we want to guys and it's the guy's fault if they get hurt"?

No wonder you get treated like crap.

I wasn't serious, now now we'll have no trouble here I was joking. Christ, what a crybaby.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Actually, I am. Perhaps you took that other post too literally. I really wasn't being serious.
 
Effz, Illyria...this is you guys right now
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