Sex, cheating, confused

[Confusedhelpme]

I know I do not give me boyfriend pleasure. He has sex issues and he thinks a lot during sex. I know when its good and not good. Now when he fucks me its like he is air fucking. He looks like he feels NOTHING he doesnt talk, caress me, scream, moan, and looks at me differently. In a " hurry up cum so i can leave" face.
I took a what i'll call a "sex break" and i think it made things worse. im broken sexually.
The bad part is...
im so desperate to cheat on him... VERY MUCH. Not for my pleasure but just to get my self esteem back to know i can give someone pleasure again. This guy is the first guy to ever do this to me... I thought it was just gonna get better but its getting worse. im like shifting feelings toward him to friends not lover. I still love him but im scared in the future the feelings are going to fade.
I cant cheat on him YET. I have no desire for any other man not mentaly or phycialy... i only want my fiance but he is breaking me. I dont know what to do anymore

 

[KillCops]

8===0' , ' , ' , ' ,0===8

^well you certainly don't wanna end up like this smiley

 

[Dizmal]

Have you guys ever had good sex? Are you sure hes not gay or fucking someone else?

IMO test him by seducing him, put on something sexy, do something new and kinky like a role play maybe? Put on a corset and get some fluffy lil handcuffs, tell him to cuff you

If all else fails ask him why hes being a wussbag in bed, that simple! Dont cheat on him, you would be better off talking it out and either ending it or comming to some sort of mutual agreement.

 

[187coopa]

forbidden sex is the best just saying.

me and this chick had an affair for a couple months and it was the best ever.

first time we did it. she came about 10 times good times missem.

 

[Noodle]

Using sex to prop up your self esteem--feed your ego with simplistic base connections--is a losing game; As one ages, one falls further and further afield of the locus that is youth-centric culture.

What I have come to understand and believe, is that truly full and meaningful connections transcend the game of sex

The best connections are soulful and understood--intrisictly by a pair--in a way that can not be explained via simple text on a screen.

 

[Lysis]

OP, I'm assuming you are female? I can kinda relate as I've had horrible sex before, and I've walked away thinking "Hmmm, is this guy just not interested in me or is there something wrong with him? WTF is going on?"

You should not have sex for your self esteem, but I think I understand what you're getting at. We women are so self-conscious and a lot of times it's for no good reason.

I've been stuck in an unhappy relationship where I was not sexually satisfied, and it did not work out for me. You say he is your fiance, and it seems so superficial to breakup over sex, but if the sex is that bad, it will really put a strain on the relationship. If you really love him (it sounds like you do), then you can work with him. Try to fix it. For me, my ex tried to fix it, but he fixed it with stuff that made him happy, and he did not listen to me when I would want to do something, so really, we tried toys and all that, but when I just wanted penetration, he would always insist on toys..always, and I kinda got sick of it. The key point to fixing something like this is being open and listening to each other.

Is it only the sex, or are there other issues? For me, the sex was one thing, and then there were so many other things that I just couldn't take it anymore. If you are at this point and you aren't even married yet, it will be exacerbated when you're married.

 

[sockpuppet]

edit

 

[justinsayno]

sounds like its over to me...get the hell out before fiance becomes husband...or even worse, father of your child.

 

[kronedog]

sounds like its over to me...get the hell out before fiance becomes husband...or even worse, father of your child.

Sorry to say but this is exactly what it sounds like. You say you love him, yet you're considering on cheating on him? This brings a lot of strong feelings up personally from experience but as some have already stated before me, talk to him. You need to tell him how you're feeling so he KNOWS! Cheating on someone else is most likely going to make you feel like shit and it opens up a lot of negative paths.

 

[J.D.]

Have you guys ever had good sex? Are you sure hes not gay or fucking someone else?

I'm not saying whether I think this guy is gay or not....just that I had a similar experience, and turns out - yep - gay. I absolutely adored him. Outstandingly handsome - and a great chef. He was funny and nice and treated me well, and really got along with my kids.

But something was off with the sex. We would be totally going at it, he would just stop, pull out and suggest we go get some take-out Chinese. WTF? That was the weirdest thing to me. He would just lose interest after a few minutes. And of course it wasn't about me because I'm totally phenomenal in bed. I also have zero gaydar.

I don't know if he had realized it yet...but I know he hadn't acted on it at the time. I believe within about six months or so after we split (amicably), he was living with a guy and happy as could be. As far as I know, he still is.

I guess ya just never know. It certainly didn't occur to me what the problem was, since everything else in our relationship was good.

I agree with those who say cheating is not an option. Nothing good will come of that. Ever.

Good luck, I hope you find happiness with whatever you decide.

 

[rangrz]

I agree with those who say cheating is not an option. Nothing good will come of that. Ever.

Logical fallacy much? argumentum ad ignorantiam.

Just because YOU do not have evidence of a certain outcome, does not constitute a rigorous proof of that outcome being impossible in some possible world.

This high school level protip brought to you, in part, by google