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Sex and dating more than one person at a time.

1

187coopa

Bluelighter
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
423
Whats ur opinion on this whether ur a girl or guy.

if the person you were dating/seeing and also had had sex with were seeing you and other people. would you be cool with that?

My situation is this me and a girl have been talking to each other for about 2 months just hooked up finally a couple days ago.. were not exclusive so i guess its not cheating but i dont ask if she is fucking anyone else. I know she is interested in another guy its obvious and there hanging out tomarrow at her house guess theres gonna be some of her friends there also. i try to not to be the jealous type. But it does sting knowing she is gonna be spending time with him.

bleh dunno what to do. I cant really say anything about it without it screaming im jealous that ur spending time with another guy "she's known him for a longer time than me also." So i guess i just have two options either say i want to take this to the next level and try to be exclusive or just sit back and see what happens.

I really feel like just withdrawing from her for awhile and ignore her.

I get the feeling he's a whipped lil boy i checked his facebook out and like everyother post is about her lol its quite pathetic. if she wants a real man she'll realize her mistake im not gonna compete for her.
'
fuck bitches its always something haha.
 
Im a dude and no i wouldn't be cool with that at all haha if you are really into her and want to be exclusive you have to tell her that as honestly as you can.
If she doesn't feel the same way about you then should move on and find someone else because its not really worth the pain of chasing her if she doesn't appreciate you.
 
Follow the plan of ignoring her. The dude whos facebook posts are constantly about her isnt a worry, she probably uses him as leverage for such situations, for car rides, for drugs.. whatever. Heaps of girls do it. If shes putting him above you though, like, more than once.. then fuck it.
 
If you like her, ask her out on an actual date, and initiate things. If you don't go for it, she will just go back to this other guy, who seems to be her "backup" guy.
 
187coopa said:
if the person you were dating/seeing and also had had sex with were seeing you and other people. would you be cool with that?
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isn't that the very definition of dating?
187coopa said:
My situation is this me and a girl have been talking to each other for about 2 months just hooked up finally a couple days ago.. were not exclusive so i guess its not cheating but i dont ask if she is fucking anyone else. I know she is interested in another guy its obvious and there hanging out tomarrow at her house guess theres gonna be some of her friends there also. i try to not to be the jealous type. But it does sting knowing she is gonna be spending time with him.
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there's nothing wrong with not wanting the person you're sleeping with to have sex with other people. why not just tell her how you feel? if she disagrees, she'll likely break it off with you so you need to be aware that's a possibility.
187coopa said:
or just sit back and see what happens.
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you're obviously uncomfortable already. why would you do that?
187coopa said:
I really feel like just withdrawing from her for awhile and ignore her.
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that's a pretty childish response.
187coopa said:
she wants a real man
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no true scotsman? i think so.
187coopa said:
fuck bitches its always something haha.
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real men don't call women bitches?

:\

i think you're being a little immature, to be honest. you need to man up and talk to her. you know, like a man :)

alasdair
 
I'm a guy and yes I'd be fine with it.

I had an open relationship with my ex and we'd both sleep with other people separately and he and I wanted to find a woman who would either be our consensual submissive or have a 3 way with us but that never happened.

All the other people who I dated or had sex with knew about how I was in an open relationship and about each other.

I'm currently single but when I date multiple people or have sex with multiple people everyone who I'm with knows about it since I tell them.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
All the other people who I dated or had sex with knew about how I was in an open relationship and about each other.

I'm currently single but when I date multiple people or have sex with multiple people everyone who I'm with knows about it since I tell them.
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This is really important. I don't see anything wrong with dating/sleeping with more than one person BUT you should tell the others that's what you're doing.
 
yea thats how i feel. like if she would just say tell me instead i'd be ok but she wont tell me which bothers me.
 
I don't like it if a girl I am considering being in a relationship with is seeing other people, but I'll stand it until I've made up my mind.

If it's isn't serious at all, and we're just fucking with no thoughts towards being "together" together - then I couldn't care less.
 
Well, ya had me up until the "fuck bitches" part. :\

If you knew she was seeing someone else (I'm assuming she was upfront about it since you knew about it) and you chose to have sex with her just to get it in, then why is she the bad guy here? Plenty of men want to play the field and we're some kind of hobag because we do the same? The only advice I can offer is to be more selective when choosing a partner. If you want a monogamous relationship, then don't get yourself involved with someone who is seeing two people. She wants to play the field, and that does not make her a bitch or a slut. It makes her single and just not into you that much.
 
well.. if there is going to be other people there too I doubt its like shes is going to just bang him.
for me jealousy means I care, or my ego is dented. First I try to work out which one it is, then decide if it's worth saying something because I really do care. Or if I don't care that much (because I sleep with other people too) I will just pull back and give the 'friendship' some space until I want to go there again.

If she means something to you, and you feel jealous - don't speak or act out of jealousy. Work out why you feel jealous then if you want to talk to her, and be reasonable in your talk as you don't seem to have proof that any thing more than friends was intended on her part, so just letting her know you want to be with her and feel like blah blah has a thing for you.. and you feel its kinda weird does she want to be with him? that way you are starting an open honest discussion.
good luck!
 
I'm a man and I have no problem with this if it's purely sex, but it's the emotional connection with other people that would upset me. You either need to talk to her or stay away as you'll get hurt. This is your issue not hers, and you shouldn't make it her problem. Own your feelings, and understand only you are responsible for how you feel.

Also, the bitches thing is just unpleasant.
 
I would be cool with it - IF it was something we had discussed. To be n a relationship and for them to suddenly start fucking about with another person would piss me off. Mind you... If they brought that person home for us to share then I think I could live with it (if they were cute).
 
Lysis said:
Well, ya had me up until the "fuck bitches" part. :\

If you knew she was seeing someone else (I'm assuming she was upfront about it since you knew about it) and you chose to have sex with her just to get it in, then why is she the bad guy here? Plenty of men want to play the field and we're some kind of hobag because we do the same? The only advice I can offer is to be more selective when choosing a partner. If you want a monogamous relationship, then don't get yourself involved with someone who is seeing two people. She wants to play the field, and that does not make her a bitch or a slut. It makes her single and just not into you that much.
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I whole-heartedly concur.
 
You (OP) are also "whipped." This girl is having sex with you and another guy (and possibly even more), and you're hung up about it (that's why you posted). If that was okay with you, this thread would not exist. Even if you "convince" this promiscuous girl that she should be only with you, how long do you think she will be faithful?
Here are your real options:
1) Drop that biatch.
2) Hit it like she stole somethin, and be satisfied with a pure sex relationship with a girl who gets around.
You don't sound like the callous type, so I think you're gonna feel bad either way.
However, I'm guessing you'll take option 3 - continuing to pursue her, hitting sloppy seconds and whining to yourself about until she moves on. Prove me wrong.
 
I would only be cool with sharing in a polyamorous situation involving a long-term partner who I love and trust. Polyamory does not mean polyfuckery. It means loving and caring about each person you sleep with. It takes a lot of work, more than being in a monogamous relationship.

If you just want to fuck around then fuck around, but be honest about what you're really doing. Your partner deserves to know.
 
I definitely would NOT be down with that! The natural progression of a mature relationship is that you date around, narrow the field and date more often the "one" you think is a keeper. From there, the two of you continue to date until sex is on the table. Once it is, you need to have the monogamous talk and is the relationship is a worthy one, the two of you decide to be the only ones fucking each other. If it's done any other way, it's just fucking and emotions and feelings be damned!

I do understand in this day and age men and women can get in situations where these things happen but I don't think they're good for one's self-image and ego. I mean it could kind of work if both of you were both banging other folks but problems arise when only one is doing it. Then it turns into, the one screwing multiple partners is doing it because she can and you, the one not hitting more than one girl is not doing it because he either can't or chooses not to because he's so into this chick. That's where the hit on one's ego comes in. In my opinion, if this girl is something akin to "the one", then I'd say to her; I really want to spend more time with you and I really want us to be monogamous. Are you up for that? If not, tell her you just can't do it anymore and you need to say bye-bye. Man - keep your pride intact and deal with this like an adult. For the record, I am assuming you are one. Good Luck man!
 
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