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Severe Pain and Suicidal Ideation

BlackOnWhite

BlackOnWhite

Bluelighter
Joined
May 4, 2010
Messages
91
Location
Perth
Sorry in advance if this thread is in the wrong place. I am a 17 year old male from Australia. I have been diagnosed with chronic epididymitis of my right testicle and have been going through the pain for 4 months now. I also suffer from major depression, panic disorder and borderline personality disorder. I am on escitalopram 20mg for these disorders.

Over the past 2 weeks, I am becoming extremely depressed, stressed, agitated, sleepless and in immense pain, like you have no idea. Imagine having your right testicle grabbed and squeezed, HARD, 24/7. I have been through various treatment options, from multiple antibiotics, neuropathic pain medication and narcotic opoid painkillers and no progress has been made. I started out with panadeine forte as well as nurofen plus, then tramadol and tramadol SR, then morphine, then oxycodone, then hydromorphone. A month ago I was cut off all of my pain killers and been given panadeine forte again and a TCA for neuropathic pain called amitriptyline. I am back in the immense pain again and nobody will give me anything for it and I am starting to lose faith. I have tried to committ suicide twice in the past week and have failed and I can no longer go on like this. I have called many suicide hotlines and they have gotten me through the night but the next day I am ****** again. I start getting angry and feel like I am going to snap and have a nervous breakdown and hurt someone along with it. I feel that if I cannot be back on something that actually stopped the pain such as that oxycodone or hydromorphone, I am going to end my life. I can no longer stand this pain, it's only been 4 months but imagine having it every hour of every day. Not sleeping. Not wanting to eat. Not leaving the house.

I need your advice on what my actions should be tomorrow towards my doctor. I do not want to go into a psychiatric clinic as I have been to every single public and private ward in my city, I have an appointment with urology in a months time and I just need to get through that time till I see the specialist. Please, if anyone has anything to say that could help me persuade my doctor to help me, please please tell me.
 
If you are in severe pain and having suicidal ideations, go to the ER. I've been taken into the ER for similar situations, they have to help you there and will also assist you with a long term plan for depression and pain.
 
I would suggest that you also try The Dark Side here on BL. They are a very supporting and compassionate bunch, not that Aussies are not.
 
I have been to four different emergency departments here in perth, at least 10 times, one even being a private ER and I just get examined & sent off home with panadeine forte. "Apparently" only my general physician can prescribe me anything stronger than panadeine forte which is confusing because when I first when to the ER with my problem, I was given morphine IV then a prescription for endone (oxycodone) 5mg. After that, I have even been told by the head of urology at a hospital that I cannot be given anything. Everytime I go to a ED, I just get jerked around so I have given up hope on them. I have contemplated going in there telling them how extremely depressed and suicidal I am but I would just be examined as a psych patient and due to suicidal tendencies, there is no way in hell they're going to give me a strong narcotic or even a benzodiazepine for that matter.

I see my doctor today, if I tell him about my ideations, is it still lawful for him to prescribe me my old medication? It just seems everyone is trying to protect their licences or just can't be bothered monitoring someone for addiction etc. Far out, just because a medication has potential to be abused shouldn't mean I have to suffer
 
^ Yeah TDS is also a really good place to check out and post for support if you haven't already.

ETA: Obviously the ERs think you are drug seeking.

Just because you have suicidal ideations doesn't mean he can't prescribe you your old medication, but he will want to treat you for the depression/suicidal thoughts and will probably recommend you to a counselor, etc...

If he thinks you are drug seeking he will try and refer you to a drug and alcohol service as well probably.

ETA II: Electric Boogalo: We can't tell you what to say to your doctor to get Rx'd a certain med, for all we know you DO want to abuse them and are just going to shoot them up. *cough*
 
Is removel an option? You would still have at least one functioning ball. Other than procreation they don't serve any other postive use. No reason to feel ashamed of it either, I know a couple of people who have had to remove one. As long as you don't tell people at school you would be alright. This is a serious comment to, not taking the piss
 
I am waiting to see the urologist to talk about surgery, I have asked my gp about removing the testicle but he doesn't think it will help. I have begged but to no avail. And as long as I can tell him about my ideations and still be treated as a pain patient, then everything should be ok, I hope.
 
man you need to get yourself to a psychiatrist quick smart. trying to kill yourself twice in a week is serious. they will take this issue very seriously and will prescribe you something to deal with the suicidal thoughts and depression.

severe depression is common with chronic and painful illnesses. please go see someone to talk about the depression. you don't have to suffer through it.

all the best. things will get better. you are only 17 and havve your whole life ahead of you.
 
hate to be negative, but welcome to the world of pain management. I've had severe problems with my teeth and it took me months and 7 doctors to get anything stronger than PF, ended up with endone witch helps little.

Doctors are "scared" to give out anything for fear of lawsuits(although they will hand out antidepressants like candy), licence revoking. A simple way to fix this is to have the patent sign some sort of declaration stating that the doctor is not responsible for any bad outcomes when prescribing opiates.

Good luck, and ya head up.
 
I've got a cyst on my left ball. Been there for years, since i was maybe 12? it flames up from time to time, and is extremely painful when it does. the painful spurts happened far more often between the ages of 12-17, now it's maybe once every 6 months, or maybe i dont get pain because i dope myself out on illegal opiates.

If the doc services aren't helping you, might i suggest some OMT (buprenorphine). Feigning an opiate addiction to an OMT (incase you don't know the lingo, that means Opioid Maintainance Therapy ) prescriber is as easy as saying you use oxy or heroin on a regular basis.. obviously, I shouldn't tell you how to get x drug, but in this circumstance I see it as benificial to your situation. If you go ahead with this route of treatment, make sure you say your doses of your opiate of choice are <100mg a day, unless it's codeine (and i wouldn't really use codeine as an excuse to get on that stuff). This may be a pain in the arse, but it might address both your pain, and pain management problems in a socially acceptable manner.

Check my sticky thread at the top of AusDD for information on where to find your closest prescriber.
 
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