Hey Seattle Stranger...
I wondered over to SLR and couldn't help but to respond to your thread.
I have had a few encounters with women other than my wife and I felt a similar loss of interest, and at least in one case a sense of repulsion. Immediately following orgasm.
Two of these women were quite attractive and my wife was
watching me fuck them.
Even with threesomes, a strange lack of interest post orgasm seemed to take hold.
My wife is among the most attractive women I have ever met, and other people have told me the same.
She is Puerto Rican and Polish mixed and very striking. Looks very much like Jennifer Lopez.
A five foot tall sex goddess, she is!
And my emotional attachment to her always spelled out a rather intense feeling of connectedness post orgasm that I never quite achieved with other women. Even with her blessing and participation...
For this reason, I think that emotions lead to the release of post coital bonding hormones, oxytocin and prolactin.
Not just the physical attraction or having good sex.
Put more scientifically, the level of HPA response to sex and orgasm could be influenced by memories and hippocampus functions.
Perhaps the higher cognitive pathways won't allow you to be fooled - they determine whether or not you will be truly satisfied with any given partner.
Yet I feel that I should share something personal...
Ever since MDMA, 14 months ago...
Sex, especially orgasm has not been the same with her.
My sense of bonding and connection with her seems to evaporate almost immediately upon orgasm.
And my libido and emotions were affected on most days...
What is going on here?
This never happened with her before this!
It may be relevant to your situation with a girlfriend you very much have feelings for.
Serotonin inhibits dopamine, as I have said on many occasions.
Upon orgasm there is a surge of serotonin, but a circuit in the hypothalamus actually experiences a drop in serotonin and a sudden increase in dopamine.
These dopamine neurons cause a release of prolactin and oxytocin in the pituitary.
As well as dopamine release in the NA shell.
In SSRI patients it is common to experience some level of sexual dysfunction, including anorgasmia or ejaculatory anhedonia. Eventually some fail to experience ANY libido or erection!
And this can persist for months or YEARS after withdrawal from the medication!
For a small minority, it is a lifelong curse.
Visit YahooGroup SSRIsex or paxilprogress.org if you want to see some evidence.
So, serotonin in the hypothalamus directly inhibits sexual activity, including dopamine and oxytocin/prolactin release.
And MDMA is known to cause a hyperinnervation of the hypothalamus upon recovery from neurotoxicity.
I can remember how devoid of pleasure my orgasms were in the first 4 months.
Absolutely worthless.
Depressing, unhuman bullshit.
Even visiting strip clubs produced no interest until 8 months had passed.
And it wasn't until about 11-13 months, quite recently, that my orgasms finally stepped up another notch. Some of them are back to 85% strength.
And post orgasm bonding is finally returning.
There is still a difference, and I really hope it continues to improve.
But I have to say that my emotional response to orgasm is finally starting to improve after 14 months of recovery.
Too bad it comes at a cognitive cost.
Its like my brain's cognitive function has to be sacrificed for each improvement in gut/sexual function.
I guess a better orgasm is worth a few IQ points. Lol.
I've always said that this 'recovery' process is the intestines re-wiring the brain.
Some days I still don't enjoy watching porn.
But I am starting to look at my wife longingly like I used to, even on those days.
For what its worth, I have read too many stories of former SSRI users who describe an absolute loss of ALL sexual desire and sensation....to recover after 2 years of healthy living.
It appears that they tend to recover in cycles, like MDMA users, with functions improving and getting worse constantly. Most report improvements after about a year, but most who claim full recovery take 2 years.
And a minority of them take 3-4 years!
What is strange is the story of a woman who felt nothing for four years, and suddenly recovered.
Or the man who spent DECADES not being able to attain an erection, only to spontaneously achieve erections in his 60s! His wife couldn't get enough....
My opinion is that such stories are the exception.
The majority of people will realize their full recovery potential within 5 years.
You haven't gotten that far yet, so try to have faith.
There is a decent chance that you will continue to regain post-orgasm function, esp. if you truly care for this woman.
Just lay off the psylosibin.
And try a few days of hard exercise.
See what happens when you provide yourself with a BOOST of BDNF.
Or you could take a dopamine stimulant - that should make a difference.
What about nasal oxytocin spray?
Just ideas...
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
