Severe case of Pancrititis - Follow up

[pendulum1234]

Hello everyone, I will keep this short for now and maybe post a full story at a later date.

I have battled with anxiety since I can remember and ended up drinking heavily most nights and at weekends pass out wae up drink pass out etc.
It ended up with me in intensive care for 2 weeks or so in Spain with a bad case of acute pancrititis and have been told alcohol NEVER again, definatly for now at least.

The problem is socialising or going anywhere these days is a nightmare without alcohol being in your face in most places, anyway that's a different story and I am using benzos now and again for social situations.

The thing which has gotten to me the most is the dysphoria I seem to get now, for example one of my favourite recreational psycadelics drugs which I enjoyed so much was 4-HO-MET especially due to it's incredible music appreciation and body feeling, when I take it alone now I get lots of dysphoria without the alcohol and it's no where near the same, still very visual etc though.

What would you if anything recommend out of the following to help bring that slight euphoria back.. doesn't have to be too pushy just a slight euphoric undertone.

I can only think of downers I don't want to mix any other psycadelics or weed or anything.

Etizolam, Diazepam, Nitrazepam, Zopiclone, Zolpidem (Ambien), Codeine, Tramadol, Xanax.

I pretty much take small doses of Etizolam daily and would rather not use that recreationally or Xanax since it's for emergencies really. Never used Tramadol or Codeine really, I am assuming people are going to recommend them.

I just want some music appreciation slight euphoric push to go with my 4-ho-met tonight.

The only problem with Codeine is I have only had it twice and both times suffered weird panic attack, pounding heart. This could have been ocasions with alcohol in the system though...

Kind Regards,
P

 

[Cdkman]

Gabapentin or lyrica is my substitute for nights out..always killed my social anxiety and allowed me to chat with ppl and try to pick up girls..it's nasty to come off of so I suggest only once or twice a week

 

[Moreaux]

Man, be careful with the GABAergic drugs. If you had a problem with alcohol you will most likely have a problem to those as well (benzodiazapines, lyrica, gabapenton). Alcohol is hard enough to quit adding benzo's or other stuff to the equation makes it almost impossible. Not to mention, if you have to stop the benzodiazepines the withdraw from that is terrible and can last for years. I would really advise that you get your anxiety condition under control through cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, meditation, clean eating, and good sleep hygiene. I was a 17 year alcoholic and addicted to benzo's for 10 years. I have been clean from booze for two years and a clean from benzodiazepines for six years. My benzo withdrawal lasted for two years and I am now only 80% healed. It takes a long time to recover from one of those addictions. Please be very careful and exercise caution moving forward. I highly recommend you address the underlying issue that are driving you to have to use a substance to socialize, in the end that's going to be biggest gift that you can give yourself. I wish you the best!

 

[pendulum1234]

Thanks for the kind words.

I will post a full story on a new account possibly soon. I have gone from being in intensive care at christmas drinking every night alone with 0 self-esteem to being at the first time in my life I can look in the mirror and say to myself you look GOOD. You sexy bastard! :D

I am 28 years old just turned and I really needed the wake up call I look so much better. I was taking benzos while on the alcohol too, it's mainly Etizolam but I have been taking alot more recently. I know they are a bad idea but I have come off being an alcoholic, quit Citralopram, propranolol the most part (might take them again now and again) many other sleeping tablets etc prescribed and not. I have also lost over 2 stone since Christmas and this has been so positive for me, everyone says I look great and fresh. I would just like to get a stable script of benzos or if not I will do it myself until im stable enough since alot has happened in 5 months.

I am rambling and not keeping this very eays to read.

I do not want to get back into alcohol and I won't until I am alot more mentally stable but may not ever at all if I can help it but everyone needs those chill out days.
Is slight low opioid use a nice way to taper benzos, I know it's not ideal, just a random thought. I don't want to get hooked on them but I think I'll be using them, weak ones at least at some point.

Kind Regards,


I was barely going out

 

[Moreaux]

@Pendulum1224 - thank you for the update! I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better about yourself - that's very important in recovery. At the tail end of my drinking I also had zero self confidence, and the initial weightloss and general increase in health really helped with that (I just posted pics in the Sober Living before and after sticky thread). I felt like I was dying and knew it wouldn't have been much longer had I not stopped. I had watched a close friend die an alcoholic death at the age of 40 and did not want to follow in their footsteps.

Consider a benzo taper when you're ready - you cannot just CT those. Quitting those will be the missing piece in your recovery. Please keep us updated. I'm glad to hear you're doing so well and have quit the booze. I give you mad props as that was something I could never do on my own (required rehab twice) and admire your strength and courage!

 

[pendulum1234]

I was in a foreign country over christmas in intensive care not knowing what anyone was saying, stripped of my anxiety and benzo medication, it wasn't easy. Not being able to move out of bed 10 pipes hanging out my veins and nose. I couldn't eat or drink for around a week I contemplated sipping the sanitry cleaner with 70% alcohol at one point but that wouldn't og happened I don't think, although I was gargling mouthwash all day just to get a taste in my mouth.

The Xanax I finally got them to give me stopped me from freaking out about the whole situation and I had a hidden stash of Etizolam in my bag as I didn't know how long I was going to be in hospital for.
I wish I could post before/after pictures but maybe some other time.

Thanks Moreaux xx