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Seven Personal Victories in 2010

Jamshyd

Jamshyd

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 26, 2003
Messages
15,492
Location
Not on a train, sadly.
2010 has been a tough year for me and everyone I know. I wouldn't be surprised if it was also tough for a lot of people in here.

I believe my worst enemy is forgetfulness. When I forget about the divine, I forget about the good in me. And when I forget the good in me, I forget the good in others, and by the time all of these are forgotten, I'd have spiraled far down into melancholia and multiple petty addictions.

I hope that by forcing ourselves to write down seven personal victories we've accomplished in 2010, no matter how big or small, will help us all remember. Why seven? Because this idea is inspired from one of my favourite ever threads that I made: (Post 7 positive points about your body.) -- btw, I dare you guys to post in that thread! :). Seven also because tomorrow would be a week clean of Codeine, having relapsed after getting clean earlier this year.

So, let me start:

1. Passed the Government's certification test for operating Amateur (Ham) Radio, against all odds (I'm number-dyslexic).
2. Got my driver's license after a decade of struggle (got it before, went overseas to have it expire before upgrading, failed subsequent tests, etc).
3. Managed to stick to the 2 glasses of wine per day rule, after the nightmare I endured about a year and a month ago.
4. Beat benzo addiction again after a 2 year relapse; beat codeine addiction again after 4 months relapse (following another codeine victory btw)
5. Reconnected with two friends I consider soul-mates, who restored my faith in myself and others.
6. Reconnected with the Divinity implicit in all, with whom I lost touch in the past year, which also restored my faith and helped beat addiction.
7. Discovered a career-path that could potentially be my "true calling," and started working toward it. All signs so far tell me I'm on the right path.
---

Looking forward to reading yours. It doesn't matter how trivial or insignificant you think it is - a personal victory is a personal victory :).

p.s. Hope everyone has a joyful new year! <3
 
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I'll give this a shot
1) Have left opiates alone now for awhile, making my life better than I could've imagined.
2) Put myself out on a limb with trust
3) Finally found some pride in a health sense and am able to love myself...
4) In turn I can now finally love the one person who deserves to be loved more than anyone :) <3
5) Making steady progress w/work front
6) Really have manned up to the fact that I am not perfect but that IS NOT an excuse to give up, it is a reason to push harder
7) Found in myself clean, I have a real soft spot for love and the fact we all are fighting wars, arguing when we are all trying to be loved. This both makes me sad - yet it helps me realize how badly we need to COMMUNICATE !!!!

*edit* one more, right on track to break all my lifts #s :) something I basically full time job. One of the few things I feel some pride in; their are no excuses you either pay your dues or you fail. I like that a lot.
 
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Awesome thread, thank-you! Im going to give this a shot even though uneven numbers sometimes give me panic attacks...I can always post in the body image version, to make 14! Welcome to the OCD brain :)

1-Havnt woken up naked next to random guy/s unaware of where i was or how i got there after night of drinking
2-Broke 100lbs in treatment for eating disorder
3-Broke my record consecutive days 100% symptom free during treatment (symptom free= no skipped meals/restrictions/purging etc) 6 fukin weeks with NO SLIP. Sigh
4-Remained Autonomous since leaving the hosp in September (Havent gone running back home to my mom when things get tough letting her take full control of me, DESPITE Really Wanting To!)
5- ATE CAKE ON MY BIRTHDAY. Twice. This one is huge for me, tho I guess it sounds trivial but Ive spend almost every birthday since my14th in hospital for anorexia, so never ate cake as an adult
6-Gotten through some intense conflict with a very close friend and survived it...we both have drug problems/eating disorders/various mental health afflictions.
7-I admitted point blank to my old best friend that Ive been using crack. OK, clearly, it hasnt really been a progressive year
 
OverDone said:
EDIT: fuck this... I HAVE accomplished 2 things that I need to acknowledge... I have been completely abstinent from drugs/alcohol and I have quit cigarettes
Click to expand...

WOAH, way to not give yourself enough credit...each one of those THREE, are worth more than 7 if you break it down into all the steps it took to get here, Im sure! WTG :)
 
OverDone - who called me when my concussion wouldn't let me sleep ? Who checked in when I wasnt around the board. Brother give yourself some love , you have been an awesome friend and you are a terrific guy !!!!
 
awesome, jam.

1. kicked my opiate physical dependency
2. passed my classes (despite shitty attendance;))
3. haven't been kicked out of my house for drug use yet
4. also connected with "the divine"*, primarily via cannabis (my brain is weird, cannabis is as psychedelic as mushrooms for me)

* i don't mean anything supernatural... what we call "the divine" is a neurochemical state
 
1.) no more benzos
2.) enrolled in school after 8 years off
3.) ego death (samadhi - connecting with the cosmic conciousness) what a tremendous impact..
4.) started yoga and looking into spirituality for the first time in my life (#3 contributed to this)
5.) healthier family ties
6.) took care of my legal issues (dui, felony posession, etc) will be off probation this time next year
7.) finally started to love myself..

I intend to continue growing as a person this following year where I had remained somewhat stagnant in the past..

happy new years all <3
 
Jamshyd, thank you for this thread. Much love and strength to you and us all as we individually and collectively navigate 2011. May it be a year that is memorable in all of the right ways.

  1. I turned 30 without incident. :)
  2. I committed myself to my own well-being. I am responsible for my own happiness.
  3. I made a lot of new friends.
  4. I am in a vibrant new city.
  5. I have a nice house and enough food to eat.
  6. I am no longer a trainwreck alcoholic.
  7. I drive effectively in my own car, which I bought and paid off myself.
 
Mariposa said:
Jamshyd, thank you for this thread. Much love and strength to you and us all as we individually and collectively navigate 2011. May it be a year that is memorable in all of the right ways.

  1. I turned 30 without incident. :)
  2. I committed myself to my own well-being. I am responsible for my own happiness.
  3. I made a lot of new friends.
  4. I am in a vibrant new city.
  5. I have a nice house and enough food to eat.
  6. I am no longer a trainwreck alcoholic.
  7. I drive effectively in my own car, which I bought and paid off myself.
Click to expand...

What a fantastic list. I posted that my father died yesterday morning in an earlier entry. I have been doing ok, but I know that after all the activity is over, I will be able to become more emotional and grieve. The hardest thinghas been tolerating outrageous behavior some seriously fucked up behavior from my father's wife and her children. Anyway, I am going to make my list for 2010, based on your expressions of gratitude. I have many, many things to be grateful for. Although this experience is excruciating, I know how blessed I am.
 
1. I got a job in July after graduating school and still have said job. It's such a shitty job but it's mine.
2. I managed to quit binge drinking.
3. I managed to quit cigarettes.
4. I got my personal training certification--first professional "badge" per se, also the reason for #3... hypocrisy is lame
5. I managed not to get thrown out of my parents' house where I live :\
6. I managed to become closer to my sober friends and cut off a couple distinctly negative influences.
7. I realized this month, under the influence of weed no less, the reason why I like drugs so much and thus why I cannot trust myself around them. I drink, smoke, snort opiates because I feel inadequate. I enjoy the feeling of escape too much, and I am never going to learn how to feel adequate sober without practicing. Getting high may help me tread the waters of life but I'm never gonna be able to get anywhere unless I shed the crutches. This realization is/was very important to me 'cause I had never seen it so clearly before.

glad I could participate in this thread of Jam's because I tried to do the similar one about self-image in HL and couldn't.
 
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1. Finished my second to last semester of law school.
2. Helped edit a law book that will be published by the Edinburgh Press this spring.
3. Got a lot of my wedding plans in place for August.
4. Improved my relationship with my lovely fiancee.
5. Travelled from the Atlantic to the Pacific to the Gulf.
6. Reconnected with some dear old friends.
7. Maintained the relationships that really matter to me.
 
Let me see if I can fill up 7 spots.

1. Kicked that pesky xanax addiction - finally
2. Became single after 7 years
3. started treating myself as the most important person fisrt
4. started my own business
5. became an advocate for my health - stop letting doctor tell me whats best for me
6. got a firm grasp on my finances and paid off all my bills
7. bought my first new car
 
Jam, fantastic thread mate!! Thank you. I loved your other "7 things" thread in HL, so this is great.


Let's see if I can fill up 7 things...

1. Began my degree in psychology, much to the delight of my academic parents/family (and me as well of course)
2. Boyfriend and I paid off a large amount of our mortgage
3. Got a Distinction in Psych in first semester
4. Got a Credit in Statistics in second semester (worked my ARSE off for that and was stoked!)
5. Completed my first half-marathon (something I've been wanting to do for years)
6. Didn't cut myself all year
7. Finally grew my hair back to the length it was before I went crazy and chopped it all off 2 years ago
 
1. Dumped my old mind fucking women
2. Found a nice caring women
3. Realised and come to terms with the fact that I have mental health issues.
4. Enrolled into a uni course so I can get into a course at uni.

In 2011 I will get help and make my mind a better world. I will start my uni course. I will want to live.

and I forgot all important number 5 :)

5. Joined bluelight.
 
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Completed my first half-marathon (something I've been wanting to do for years)
Click to expand...

That's awesome n3o. Definitely a physical and mental feat. I'd like to train for a marathon sometime before I die but its definitely a long term goal.. it would be pushing it for me to run to the end of the block now. In due time! :D
 
Thinking back I didn't really accomplish anything great this year, well lets stop being all sad and stuff and try to list a few things.

- Had the best summer of my life
- Got a wonderful caring girl, wich is really a sucess looking at my past experiene with women.
- Tried nearly every drug on my list (LSD and Ketamine left)
- Managed to keep my drug consume-patterns and restrictions I laid on myself
- Been a good and caring friend for most of my friends
- finally became the person I always wanted to be (Now I'm there it really doesn't feel that awesome but looking back it was a hard road from the introverted WoW-Boy to a goodlooking teenager with social connections and a good sense of humor)
- Making music I'm satisfied with.

:) happy new year everyone
 
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