Setting the Record Straight

Hiya Everyone,

I hope you're all doing OK. I once advised someone, who was having a lot of grief from others, not to defend themselves - that it would only make matters worst. However, in this I feel that, not to "defend myself" per se but to "set the record straight."

First off - I love helping people. Helping people makes me feel ace inside, I feel good, knowing that I am somehow, making a difference, and if I can in any way, I will do. I came here to get support for my addiction and to help others in return.

I found out today that someone who was a friend has had me on ignore for months. This is precisely the reason why I tell people that they are on ignore - not to create drama, as I've often been accused, but so they don't waste time PMing me / posting to me and wonder why I'm not responding to them. Anyway, as I wasn't aware of this I jumped to conclusion - sent the person an angry E-mail to hear what he really thought of me. Would it not have been better to have tried talking to me or at least telling me that I was on ignore - so I knew where I stood? Apart from a silly argument I thought we were friends - because I wasn't aware of his feelings and him putting me on ignore I jumped to the conclusion that he was acting superior over me and acting very ignorant as I had spent time sending him PMs and posting to him just to find out I was on ignore - I could have spent time doing something else.
So that's misconception 1 - I tell people for on ignore FOR THEM believe it or not.

I do not feel sorry for myself or "want sympathy." I have a lovely home, a lovely daughter, an ace, supporting family, live in one of the decent countries where the weather is not to harmful ie hurricanes, earthquakes etc. Yes I've a visual impairment HOWEVER, believe it or not I am thankful for it. If I had not had it, I would not have met the people I have met; people with various disabilities; I would not have gone on weekly horse riding lessons, I would not have gone on the horse-riding holidays where we stayed in a bungalow, learnt how to clean the tac, the horses, ride hours and hours over the great, green hills and had BBQs in the evenings as well as various trips that were planned. I'd not have empathy towards others with physical, sensory or mental health disabilities, would not be the person I am today. It has taught me a lot about myself and I feel that I am extremely lucky. Because there are people out there with no limbs at all, with cancer, other terminal illnesses, people living in third word countries. So no I don't feel sorry for myself for being partially-sighted. The only reason that I mentioned it was because in EADD, we tend to have a lot of debates - using external sources - such as Google etc. I wanted to explain that it takes me longer to read these and sometimes I don't want to as it makes me feel tired. Again, NOT self-pity. Just stating the obvious. If a person states that they are not able to walk 100 metres, are they feeling sorry for themselves or merely stating a fact about their predicament? This is what I was trying to achieve. I also stated the name of my eyesight condition, AGAIN, not to feel sorry for myself but so that people could research it themselves and gather some sort of understand as to what I was explain to them. Questions such as "How do you type?" are ignorant and show the person to be an ignoramus. Most people with a sight issue can type A LOT better someone without. This is because we learn TOUCH-TYPING. When posting I often fail to notice spelling / grammar errors, thus why my posts often get edited a lot by myself - again NOT self-pity, just simply stating a fact. To be honest, I wish I'd never mentioned it now. I've noticed similar reactions in other places but expected it to be different here. Not starting anything here - just stating a point.

Mentioning phoning / texting individuals
I do this because I've low self-esteem. I also find it extremely difficult to accept criticism because I've low self-esteem. (I've been told that lots of addicts struggle with this, been told this by addicts themselves, who have tried helping me with this issue....) So when someone phones me I feel ace about it and tend to go on about it. I know it's silly, but that's why I do so. I honestly, DO NOT do it for any other reason apart from that I probably shouldn't but it is in no way, a way of stirring / causing drama in any way.

Anyway - I hope this has put the record straight with a few things. I love it here and I love all the friends I've made here. I've faults, as I have admitted in the past - like jumping to conclusions and losing my temper - but I don't like arguing with people, I much prefer it to get along with people, to help one another - have a laugh and also feel passionate about the newcomers here to the site and wish to help them settle into the site

Evey

 

Hey, Evey. We all react differently to people's actions - and when we are depressed we often put the worst spin on things. I remember once my mother in law sent my daughter a dress for Christmas, and it was too small. My husband asked his mother if she'd like us to mail it back for her to exchange, or to simply give it to a smaller child of a friend. She asked him to mail it back so he did. Then *years* later, it came out that she was incredibly resentful that we would think of giving away her gift, and it was more expensive than we had imagined, etc.etc. She said it felt like a slap in the face from her son. We hadn't meant any slight but because she was depressed and had different standards she took it that way. I say that to say this - those conversations were by telephone, but on the internet it's even easier to take something harder than it was intended. I think you are a lovely person and should try to not give a rat's ass if some people don't feel that way.