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September Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Newspaper Carriers and Tardiness

Just wanted to share. This seemed like as good a spot as any. I recently relapsed after 2 years 4 months clean. What a trip. I was let go from a good job and for some stupid reason i decided to take a peice of soboxone recreationally. Im sharing this to help others who get a little over confident with there clean time. The sub fucked me up pretty good since i have no tolerance anymore. About 2mg and i was done. It made me sick and i puked my guts out. But it flipped a switch back on that i thought i had beat for good. 5 days later i took 1mg of xanax feeling weak and convincing myself ("at least you didnt do dope") i told myself. The very next day it was like i woke up and new i was gonna do heroin. I told myself i could do it once to remind myself, and be back to my sober ways. Well i took a 2 bumps off thw end of my car key maybe .2 and POW!!! I woke up on my bag with paramedics in my face.. OD. Icant believe after all this time i relapsed and OD'd of all things. Un fuckin believable. I have a great family and support system and i scared the shit out of all of them and myself if course. Sorry for such a long post but my point is i got way over cobfident in my recovery. I stopped hitting meetings and writing online and just thought i didnt need to keep up on my recovery cause i had been good for so long i didnt need it anymore. Big mistake. Its been 16 days since my od and its depressing as shit thinking about starting over with my clean time, but i can honestly say i dont care if im 10 years clean, im never gonna get so over confident again. I guess it really is neccesary to be in recovery for life for some of us. So be it. Sorry for the long story but i had to get it out. Thanks for listening.
 
carrot-E said:
Just wanted to share. This seemed like as good a spot as any. I recently relapsed after 2 years 4 months clean. What a trip. I was let go from a good job and for some stupid reason i decided to take a peice of soboxone recreationally. Im sharing this to help others who get a little over confident with there clean time. The sub fucked me up pretty good since i have no tolerance anymore. About 2mg and i was done. It made me sick and i puked my guts out. But it flipped a switch back on that i thought i had beat for good. 5 days later i took 1mg of xanax feeling weak and convincing myself ("at least you didnt do dope") i told myself. The very next day it was like i woke up and new i was gonna do heroin. I told myself i could do it once to remind myself, and be back to my sober ways. Well i took a 2 bumps off thw end of my car key maybe .2 and POW!!! I woke up on my bag with paramedics in my face.. OD. Icant believe after all this time i relapsed and OD'd of all things. Un fuckin believable. I have a great family and support system and i scared the shit out of all of them and myself if course. Sorry for such a long post but my point is i got way over cobfident in my recovery. I stopped hitting meetings and writing online and just thought i didnt need to keep up on my recovery cause i had been good for so long i didnt need it anymore. Big mistake. Its been 16 days since my od and its depressing as shit thinking about starting over with my clean time, but i can honestly say i dont care if im 10 years clean, im never gonna get so over confident again. I guess it really is neccesary to be in recovery for life for some of us. So be it. Sorry for the long story but i had to get it out. Thanks for listening.
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Sorry to hear you relapsed but thank goodness you didn't die. Kudos on your 16 days, and also for making it 2 years and 4 months - that's huge. Relapse is a big part of recovery, and I think many of us need that final experience to realize we can't just test the waters. I had over a year clean and used and went on a two year bender resulting in another rehab stay. It sucked but I learned a lot more about myself and my addiction as I suspect you have and will. You're very fortunate to have a good support system and the knowledge of what you need to do to stay sober. Personally, I think you'll be stronger in this sobriety than you were in last time because you do have additional knowledge and experience. Stay strong and we're here if you need to talk :)
 
Thanks. Yeah huge wake up call for sure. I have to say honestly, Ive never stopped having cravings to get high, but I can say with 100% certainty that i dont want to die. And totach i read your post at the begining of this thread and had to share my own relapse tail our stories were similar. Hope all is well. I will definately come here and do some reading and writing before i go trying to test the waters again.
 
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