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Self-mutilation

R

Rhiannon

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 7, 2001
Messages
2,796
Location
East Lansing, MI
The delicate silver shines in the dim light-
It has been sharpened just for this cause.
I unbutton my shirt, and push the sleeve off my shoulder.
I gingerly pick it up,
careful not to dull the edges with my fingers.
Grasping the broader edge, I aim at the point
at the pale skin on my shoulder,
tainted by pink lines from prior 'incidents'.
I press down, into the flesh.
There is no feeling at first, but a crunching sound comes from
the scraping.
A slight ditch appears,
then blood forms at the edges,
then a flood, and the liquid pours over the side.
A sharp ache begins to settle itself in.
I drag my finger through the creek,
then brush it across my tongue,
tasting the fluid.
Still it floods, so I tilt my head until my mouth is filled with my life.
I drain, and drink, until the creek runs dry,
then I slide my shirt back up
and turn out the light.
------------------
 
***edited by Mellabopper***
[This message has been edited by Mellabopper (edited 15 October 2001).]
 
This is painful to read. I hope you are able to overcome whatever it is in your life that is causing you to do such things to yourself. If you need someone to talk with then feel free to IM me.
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"How the fuck do you feellllll?"
AIM ~ FutureAeons
 
Those words were spoken well, young one. Reminds me of words not few that I have spoken many a time...
Bleed.
There I am, bear skin in thine vision
There it is, knife, peircing crimson
Place the blade, deeper
Let the flow, curve down thicker
Into that place of my bear skin, hollow tranquility
And let it filled with life, life of agony
Agony I dare speak it! Oh, but woe now
This life, so impure...
Bleed me now the cure!
Stab, thrust, gouge, dig, twist, taste.
Haste!
Now I sit here, in my own pool of existence
May it shatter that which forges painful occurences...
Bleed for me, my very self.
Bleed.
------------------
It's like this... kill me and I die... kill me and I smile... will you kill me now?
 
Ya know youngster, often bad vision can disrupt our view of the world. Before my daddy bought me my super spex (heh, that's a little slang us optometrists use) I saw the world in a weird fashion. What I saw as the devil himself was really my kitten, Geebles. What I saw as cerberus was really my hamster, Kittymon. Perhaps you should have your vision checked, and don't believe those people who say contacts correct your vision. I'll tell you a little optometrist secret that only the Underground Society knows: contact lenses don't work. And besides that, they are not fashionable. And if you are one of those crazy kids that like to look all cool with their shades and what not, we can give you prescription sunglasses! So take it from me, and once you can see clearly you will enjoy the finer things in life, such as clowns, lollipops (heck, come to my office and you'll get them for free!) and animals! And always eat carrots and drink milk, once you eat your carrots and drink your milk you'll feel like Mario after eating a super mushroom!
------------------
Take a look in the mirror.
What do you see?
Wait, let me put on my glasses.
Hey, it's me!
 
just reading the title of this poem made my heart stop. i wrote many poems just like that a few years ago, and the memories of that time are still fresh in my mind. i know exeactly how you feel. please im/email me sometime soon. i really want to talk to you, whoever you are.
email: [email protected]
AIM: imJUSTaSNERK
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~susan
"it is more intimate to get into someone's mind than to get into their body"
i've said my piece... peace out.
AIM: imJUSTaSNERK
[This message has been edited by xena (edited 11 October 2001).]
 
wow. i've been noticing a constant theme in all of your poetry, rhiannon, and i sincerely hope that things will get better for you soon. regardless of the subject matter, this piece is really good. if you ever need to talk to someone, anyone, my e-mail is [email protected] dont be afraid to use it.
Mella
 
**edited by Mellabopper**
[This message has been edited by Mellabopper (edited 11 October 2001).]
 
By the way, Guido, I haven't killed myself yet because I'd go to hell which is where am already. It would be pointless.
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useless as it may be, i know how you feel. i've been struggling with depression/cutting for quite some time now... poetry is a good outlet for expressing that emotion though, isn't it? often i think i would have done something stoopid if i hadn't had my poetry to calm me... anyway, if you need anybody to talk to about this, feel free to e-mail or IM me: [email protected] or poey019. i might not have much advice to offer, but i'd be willing to listen.
::hugs::
------------------
~poe
"not enough ecstasy for me, not enough life, joy, kicks, darkness, music, not enough night."
 
***edited by Mellabopper***
[This message has been edited by Mellabopper (edited 15 October 2001).]
 
you know, its amazing how the desire to hurt oneself goes away after an unexpected event with injuries, like a carwreck, a burn of some magnitude, etc.
comes a time when you realize that this particular incarnation, in this particular biorobot is not such a bad place to be, it is pointless to hasten the inevitable race to death, you'll get there regardless.
it is a funner road if you remember that the thorns also have roses.
 
I have been there before. I know what it's like. Everytime I look at a knife some little part in the back of my brain still thinks those thoughts. If you want someone to talk to...or if anyone wants to share poetry with each other (i'm too shy to do it on the board to people i don't know at all) then e-mail or IM me. My aim is CERIA6755
 
So very sad!!!
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